Archive | September 2014

Fabulous 50!

Sep28

Turning fifty has turned out well
Who says 50 can’t be fun!
Turning fifty has all kinds of advantages
To prove my point, here are some…

First, life is less hectic
The kids are now older and can do so much more for themselves
They can even lend a hand here and there and make my load lighter
They do their own laundry, their own homework
They can drive themselves places and…
They can even feed themselves if need be!

Second, life is more stable
And my chosen career is enjoying a good flow
Uncertainties have changed to certainty in some areas of life

Third, now that I’m somewhat sure of myself and the decisions I make
I don’t need everyone’s approval all the time
And with that comes peace of mind!

Fourth, I’ve learned to set some limits
As to what I can and cannot do!
Saying no to some projects is becoming easier!

Fifth, I’ve learned not to compare myself with others
Their limits, their level of energy, their priorities are theirs
And I have my own!

Sixth, My fifty years of life have given me some understanding
In some areas of life
And I feel happy to share some of that with others sometimes

Seventh, I’ve realised the value of art, creativity, and writing in my life
I know now why I need to write, why I want to write, why I have to write!

I think seven reasons are enough
Although I think there are more reasons
Why I like being fifty!

The more years we live
The more accumulation of experience and knowledge we can have
If this translates into wisdom and compassion and deeper faith
How can that ever be bad?

Turning fifty has been wonderful
I feel comfortable in my own skin
Life has not been easy always
But then challenges are necessary in life
I’ve been fortunate in so many ways
I am thankful for the good and the hard times
In hind sight, the hard times have taught me more
Getting up after falling down has made me stronger
I still feel quite fragile sometimes
But being sensitive is alright!

I accept who I am
How far I’ve come
And I look to the future
With an open heart and an open mind!

Lida Berghuis
September 22nd, 2014

Why talk about it?

Sep21

Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about!
Why talk about it?
Because I feel I can!
Why talk about it?
Because many don’t, or can’t

Why talk about it?
To break the code of silence
That keeps us quiet
And keeps us in the dark!

Why talk about it?
Because it’s time
I feel ready now!

Why talk about it?
Because there are too many
Misconceptions out there

Why talk about it?
To give a voice to people
Who suffer needlessly

Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be done!

Why talk about it?
To give hope!

Why talk about it?
To celebrate victory!

Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be done!

Lida Berghuis
September 20th, 2014

A work in progress!

Sep16

“You’ve got to let people know if their words hurt you
Staying silent at such times
When emotions churn like torrents in your heart
Is not a good thing!”

Apparently this is called being passive
And I know that it’s not a good thing
In fact, it’s a problematic thing!

The problem with being passive
Is that I pretend to be fine
But I’m anything but fine!

The problem with being passive
Is that I smile
But in reality, I’m ready to cry!

The problem with being passive
Is that I feel powerless
Attacked, yet unable to respond
I don’t want to attack back, just respond
I wear the mask of indifference or being content
But under the mask, I’m boiling mad!

The problem is that this takes me back to when I was a child
And I could not communicate my needs and wants
I sometimes felt powerless back then too, but didn’t even know what was wrong

So, what am I to do now
When I know more than I did before
I just need to feel strong enough
To speak up!
To let someone know I’m not feeling fine
That I feel angry and hurt
That I’m a sensitive soul
And sometimes feel too much!

This is a work in progress for me
I’m much better than I used to be
Most times, I can speak up and speak my mind
I can respond if I feel criticised and feel that
There is more to the story, and we need to talk

But sometimes still
When something comes out of the left field
When I don’t expect it
I can still be taken aback
Be silenced into submission
Feel powerless
Feel wronged!

And that’s OK too
Because life is a school of sorts
Learning never really ends
One does not attain perfection!
One is always a work in progress!

So, I try to learn from my experience and move on
I’m sure I’ll be tested one more time
And then I can show what I’ve learned
And what I still need to work on!

Lida Berghuis
September 16th, 2014

Valley of sadness…

Sep15

When a crisis visits, big or small

When the storm is relentless, will not stop…

Take a deep breath and feel what you feel
Every feeling should be welcome

But when the intensity of feeling gets hard to bear
Try to be gentle with yourself
Get busy doing something that cheers you up or
Lend a helping hand to a friend

Get outside of your world
And enter someone else’s life
Many people are suffering
Suffering doesn’t discriminate at all…

Sometimes little things or big things will get you down
You will enter the valley of sadness for a while
But if you keep walking and don’t stop
You will walk through the valley and eventually walk out!

The valley of sadness, can be hot and dry
It will challenge your endurance most times
But there is always an end if you persist
The secret is to hang in there and not give up!

Crossing the valley of sadness is much easier, of course
If you have good friends and a supportive family by your side!

Lida Berghuis
September 15, 2014

The sound cloud…

Sep14

Where are you on the sound cloud, I asked a friend
The sound cloud…
The cloud that sings
The cloud that soothes the soul
The cloud that inspires and energises
A magical cloud!

The sound cloud
A place I should visit more often
To feed my soul
To feel joyful!

The sound cloud!
My favourite kind of cloud
No rain comes from this cloud
No gloomy weather accompanies it

This cloud rains emotions
Happy emotions, sad emotions
Genuine emotions, powerful emotions

This cloud does not block the sun
It opens the gates to serenity and calm

The sound cloud
My favourite cloud
I should go there more often
To console my sometimes weary soul

Lida Berghuis
September 14th, 2014

The ocean of life…

Sep12

I see the ocean of life
Sometimes calm
Sometimes tumultuous
Sometimes wild

But life goes on
Despite the ups and downs
Despite the storms that come
Despite the times that we think we will not survive

We are resilient
We will survive!
The ocean will return to calm
And we’ll be so glad we persevered
Didn’t give up

The ocean of life
Beautiful!
Dangerous!
Deceivingly serene at times!
Unnervingly turbulent at times!

But life goes on
Despite the changes and chances
Despite the sorrows and challenges
Despite the periods of grief that seem to not want to end

Hope and faith
Friendship and love
These are the things that help us navigate the ocean of life

Lida Berghuis
September 11th, 2014
Inspired by a composition by Leon Alatif

Intuition or intellect?

Sep10

Intuition and Intellect
Are they at odds?

Intuition
The promptings of the heart
The little voice that guides
The little voice that warns

Intellect
A tool for learning
A faculty of the mind
It can be right
It can be wrong

Intuition
What I gravitate to
What I’ve learned to trust

Intellect
Is obviously useful
Can also guide

Intuition
What I prefer as a guide

The mind can discern and calculate
The heart knows, needs no reason!

Lida Berghuis
Sept. 10th, 2014

Chaos and order!

Sep4

Order to chaos
Chaos to order
That seems to be the cycle of life!

After chaos, order comes into being
But order can only last so long
Before it’s time to grow again
And chaos arrives to destroy the order that exists
To prepare the way for a new order, and calm!

When one is in one’s comfort zone
Life seems more pleasant of course!
But comfort never leads to growth!

Growth comes from the disorder of struggles
And challenges that may seem insurmountable at times!

Chaos and disorder, not comfortable
Not what we love
But oh, the results can be wonderful
If one persists long enough
And learns the lessons they teach us

The building needs to be destroyed
Before a new one can be built
An old idea must die
Old habits must be let go of
Old patterns replace new ones

Often, it’s after the dust has settled
New lessons learned
New thinking adopted
New habits formed
That one realises what the chaos was for!

What was thought of as misfortune
Can be seen as grace
What was painful
Can give rise to joy!
Illness can lead to clarity
Blocks in the road can lead us to another path

One’s best laid plans can come to naught
What emerges instead though
Can be a marvelous surprise!

Lida Berghuis
September 4th, 2014

Super-connected!

Sep3

Our ubiquitous technology
Can enhance the fragmentation of our world

When I see someone outside
Especially young adults
They usually have a headphone in their ears
And a phone in their hands

Their gaze rarely meets mine
Since either they are lost in their music
Or texting someone!

I’ve also been guilty of that!
While waiting in line
I gravitate to my phone
Check my mail
My Facebook
And sometimes I don’t realise
That it’s my turn
Because I’ve been looking down!

Friends who go out for coffee or a meal
Have to consciously decide to ignore their phones,
Their messages, their Facebook updates
And even the tweets from the Twitterverse!

I’m guilty of this too!
Sometimes my kids put my cell-phone away
Far from me
So I don’t get tempted to check things!

What happened?
How did we get here?
We walk cell-phone in hand
Can’t leave the house without it
Because we’d feel naked and out of touch!

God forbid, while traveling abroad
We get out of WiFi range
Then, it’s either a matter of paying roaming fees
(The cell phone companies know their stuff)
Or being cut off!

We’ve gotten used to the constant barrage of information
The constant demands made on us
A text from a colleague demands attention
We feel they can’t wait to get a response

And if someone does not respond to our text quickly
We wonder why, what has gone wrong?

Are we super-connected
Or disconnected from ourselves
And those nearby?

Have our lives sped up too much?
That’s why we have slow-movements now!
And we are told to do yoga, to meditate and just slow down

Today I heard one can mediate for thirty seconds
If pressed for time
Even meditation has to be sped up!

I hope that instead of becoming slaves of technology
We can use it properly
I hope we can learn to monitor the amount of info.
We expose ourselves to, and the amount of info. we share!

Moderation
The middle way
Hopefully we can find that balance one day!

Lida Berghuis
August 31st, 2014

The little voice I don’t listen to…

Sep2

I may have figured out my limits somewhat…
But sometimes I don’t read the signals my body and mind
Send me, correctly

The ‘I’m tired’ signal is ignored
The ‘I’m frustrated’ signal is dismissed
The ‘I’ve taken on too much’ signal is pushed away!

At these times
I forget that I’m not super-human
I forget that I can say No!
I forget that I can drop projects temporarily
I forget that I can ask for help
I forget that my energy rises and falls
And sometimes I can do more, and sometimes
I need to do less!

I get caught up in the ‘rat race’ of service
I think more is better
That I will manage somehow
That next week, I will be less tired
That soon, I will catch up on my sleep!
That if I keep smiling, I won’t cry!

I forget to advocate for myself
I forget I don’t have to please everyone
I forget it’s my responsibility to know my limits
And say ‘no’ when it has been reached!

I forget that I need a lot of down-time
Time to write
Time to reflect
Time to meditate
Time to relax!

I keep going despite fatigue
Despite the fact that I get a feeling that
I have taken on too much again!

I don’t listen to the voice that tells me
It’s too much…
You’re not getting enough rest!
You need to ask for help!
You need to communicate better!

… Until it’s too late!

Lida Berghuis
August 31st, 2014