Tag Archive | depression

Depression sucks

Feb3

 

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When I’m depressed I move through life like molasses

The simplest things take so long to do

And most of the time I have no motivation to do them

I have to force myself to do the easiest tasks

And then I wonder what happened to me?

How did I do things so easily, so quickly?

Why is my life in slow motion?

I think of my life and the things I’ve accomplished

And wonder how I used to be so effective? So creative?

It is like living in a different body 

Or like my mind has gone on holiday

It is quite discouraging to say the least

And doesn’t do much for my self-esteem

I watch people laugh and go about their lives

While I feel stuck and left behind

These are the unfortunate realities of depression

Each time, I know or I hope I’ll feel better soon

But it always takes much longer than I think

And days go by so slowly

At such times, my friends are my life boats

They give me energy to go on

Their encouragement is the sunshine of my day

Their love lifts me up

Depression sucks!

And only good friends and family 

Are my solace during those times 

 

February 2nd, 2023

Cup half full

Jan20

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It’s like a rebirth

Every time I get out of a depression

Yes, I can mourn the time lost

Be upset that I found myself in the valley of fog again

Or I can be grateful

To have my energy back

To feel like writing again

To laugh out loud

To plan projects

To be creative

And fully participate in life again

You forget what you have till you lose it

You can take so much for granted

Even the cloudy days don’t bother me as much

When the sun shines in my heart  

Jan 19, 2023

Depression is a cave

Sep20

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Depression is vast cave

The things one need for navigation are absent

There is no light

The path is not clear

You can fall at any moment over the obstacles on the path

You doesn’t know how long it will take

To get to the opening of the cave

There is so much uncertainty and you feel powerless

You take a few steps the best way you can

Not sure if you are going in the right direction

And the darkness is perpetual

No respite

Physical illnesses

Are like hiking through a dense forest 

The hike is challenging and requires stamina and will power

But at least you can tell where to put the next step

At least you can sing at the top of your lungs to pass the time

There may be a clearing here or there 

And you can be cheered by the rays of the sun

There are things that are unknown

But you have a map to navigate the path

You know how long the hike could be

There is discomfort

There is fatigue 

But one has the will power to push through

Depression is a cave

September 20th, 2022

Let’s talk

Jan26

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How are you?

Are you feeling OK?

I’m not expecting to hear that you are fine

That you’re managing well

It’s OK if today you don’t feel well

How often do we ask how are you 

Expecting the same answer?

What should we do if the answer is not OK?

How can I help you we may say

Would you like to grab a coffee and talk?

I won’t give you advice

I won’t tell you to be thankful for all you have

I’ll simply listen and let you empty your cup

This is not always easy for me

The need to give advice is always there

But advice is not needed in these instances

Just acknowledging the hurt will do

Just letting someone know you care

And that they are not alone in their pain

I know this because I’ve been there

I’ve been the person who was not OK

And when my friends simply listened to me

They lifted my spirit and helped me persevere

Some problems can’t be fixed right away

The road to healing may be long

And what’s most important is to know

You have friends that you can count on

January 26th, 2021

Eternal sunshine?

Nov11

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A year has passed

And my days are still sunny

How long will this sunshine of spirit last?

I’ve become accustomed to ups and downs

How will I react to constancy?

My mood has been a challenge most of my life

The possibility of a downturn each year, well and alive

But there is nothing to do but take it one day at a time

Be grateful for my blessings

Not take my health for granted

And do what I can to bring joy to the world

November 11th, 2020

Not just sadness

Jul26

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It’s suffering, not just sadness

It’s like a suffocating weight on your chest

That you can’t lift no matter how hard you try

Others think it’s possible and that you’re not trying hard enough

There is no way you can explain to them how it feels

And that you’re trying your hardest

 

It’s suffering not just sadness

Sadness passes

Depression does not

It’s a guest that arrives

And refuses to leave

 

It’s suffering, not just sadness

The kind of suffering that makes you wonder

What it the point of being alive

It pushes you to the edge of the cliff

And you have to prevent the fall

 

It’s suffering, just not sadness

It’s hopelessness

You know this is not how you’re supposed to feel

It’s not normal

 

It’s suffering not just sadness

It’s not temporary

It lingers day after day

Tries your patience

Tests your beliefs

 

It’s suffering not just sadness

It’s a warm and humid room

With a small window

That you can’t open because it has rusted

 

The suffering ends eventually

Sadness leaves

Joy returns

And when it does 

You’ve learned not to take anything for granted in life 

 

July 26th, 2020

Stigma

Dec15

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We are considered weak by some

Defective, strange and to be avoided by others 

It looks like we don’t try hard enough and

Don’t have the determination to beat our condition

 

Whereas to not give up hope 

During the dark days of depression 

Requires a herculean effort 

As well as the support of family and friends

 

To get up each day knowing that a struggle is ahead 

And march on anyway

To endure the pain of depression 

A pain that cuts deep

 

To reach out to others

When all we want to do is isolate ourselves further

To pursue treatment that is not one size fits all

And to smile from time to time

And carry on with our responsibilities and obligations 

 

These are qualities of a courageous, patient and determined person 

Who doesn’t give up despite the challenges she faces

For days and sometimes months on end

 

So please don’t think we are weak

Have compassion for us

And be part of the group of people

Who help reduce the stigma 

 

December 15th, 2019

A new day

Oct7

 

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It’s like starting a new chapter in a book

Beginning a new day

Everything looks crisp and sharp

It’s as if I’ve woken up from a bad dream

 

It makes me thankful for the little things in life

The energy I have to do things

The joy I experience when writing 

Absence of anxiety

Socializing in a relaxed way

Making decisions more quickly

 

I sometime want to pinch myself

To see if this is reality

How can a few days make such a difference 

It’s as if the light switch has been turned on

 

I need to process what happened

In the last three months

I’m back in the land of the living

And it feels awesome

 

So many of my days were spent in fog

So much pain and suffering

But those days are over

I can turn the page

And read the rest of the story

With excitement and curiosity

 

October 7th, 2019

Can I please?

Oct1

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I know I need to be thankful

But can I complain a little please?

I know I am blessed

But can I feel a little sorry for myself?

I know we all suffer in different ways

But can I ask why me?

I know life is full of ups and downs

But can I now go down please?

Can I complain about

All the times I felt I could not do the simplest things?

All the times I didn’t want to get up and start the day?

All the times I had to push myself to arrange things?

All the times I told myself to hang in there a little longer

All the times I got frustrated

And my patience ran out?

All the times I would see the long road ahead

With no respite?

At least let me pat myself on the back

For surviving this time

Knowing that I could not have done it

Without my family and friends

At least let me be proud of myself

For persevering again

 

October 1st, 2019

Try harder

Feb22

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Are you inherently weaker?

Not resilient enough?

Not optimistic by nature?

Unable to pull yourself up by your bootstraps?

These are questions one can face when depressed

 

Advice that is not helpful:

It will pass, be patient

Try harder

Be grateful for what you have 

You just need to change your attitude 

 

People mean well

But we don’t understand depression 

Well enough yet

 

Depression holds so many of us

In its grips

No one talks about it though

It’s easier to pretend all is well

It’s easier to not answer why or why again

So we hide behind the mask of normal

And very few people know our pain

 

Depression resembles laziness

Lack of vigor

A negative outlook towards life

Sadness

Hopelessness

 

And how is one to explain 

That you are trying hard

You are doing your best to feel better

You are not enjoying wallowing in your grief

That you don’t have complete control over how you feel

 

Good questions

The answers are not so obvious  

 

February 20th, 2019