Sometimes when doing a project
You need to clear your head
Stop and take a break
Ask the universe for guidance
When you’re too close
You can’t see the big picture
You can’t see the forest for the trees
You have to let silence wash over you
You need to relax and breath
Then with clarity go forward
And complete the job you started
It’s ok to pause for a while
You’ll continue with more energy
May 9th, 2026
There is radio silence
The internet has been high jacked for over a month
Why does anyone need to be in touch with others after all?
Especially if they live abroad
It’s not as if people have relatives outside Iran
Why would they need to hear from each other during a war?
The internet has been high jacked for over a month
Who needs the internet after all?
It’s not as if people make a living using the internet
It’s not as if they purchase and sell merchandise
It’s like putting duct tape across someone’s mouth
Don’t they realize they need to eat and talk?
Relatives worry about their loved ones
Friends can’t be in touch
Businesses come to a halt
And why?
Because information is the most dangerous commodity during war
April 5, 2026
I don’t remember why I started to write a memoir
Everyone’s life is as interesting as mine
They have had challenges they have overcome
They have had dreams they have realized
So each of us should and could write a memoir
Only not everyone likes to write
Not everyone has the patience to go through the process
Not everyone has time
So I think my memoir is as ordinary as yours would be
But I have the time and the patience and I love to write
I hope these reasons are enough
May 5th, 2026
It’s during challenging times that we can show who we are
How strong we can be
How resilient we are
Captaining a ship in calm waters
Can be done easily
The skilled captain can guide ships during stormy times
When we face illness and suffering in our lives
How we copes demonstrates who we are
Can we be content during the challenges of life?
Can we be magnanimous and continue to serve and create?
Athletes prepare themselves for competition
We need to prepare ourselves for the tests of life
January 19, 2024
Do we go around telling people of our challenge, our struggles, our health issues?
No, we all have our Instagram face on
We smile and it seems like everything is fine
But you have no idea what each person is dealing with
What difficult news they may have just heard
What their family concerns are
What financial issues they may have
So we assume
We assume that all is fine with everyone
And we are the ones with problems
But as soon as your share one of your challenges with some one
They share theirs with you
And then you realize this bubbly person has lupus
Or this friend is struggling with anxiety
Or this acquaintance can’t find a job he likes
It’s just good to be aware
That life’s troubles visit everyone
Even the ones who seem to have no problems at all
And we are not alone
And we need to be kind
September 1st, 2023
Six months of chemo is almost finished
It seemed so long to begin with
But life goes on
Some months were easier and some more challenging
But if the result is good, it’s been worth it
My hair fell out
That was traumatic
It’s growing now
That makes me happy
My nails got dark
But I’ve painted them and they look good
That funny taste in my mouth
Does not go away
And I look forward to it being gone
Nausea only the first three months
Fatigue mostly in those months too
Maybe I was lucky to have only these side effects
It can always be worse
Now I look forward
Two operations and radiation therapy
That should be six months too
But life goes on
And it will be over before I know it
April 3rd, 2023
When I’m depressed I move through life like molasses
The simplest things take so long to do
And most of the time I have no motivation to do them
I have to force myself to do the easiest tasks
And then I wonder what happened to me?
How did I do things so easily, so quickly?
Why is my life in slow motion?
I think of my life and the things I’ve accomplished
And wonder how I used to be so effective? So creative?
It is like living in a different body
Or like my mind has gone on holiday
It is quite discouraging to say the least
And doesn’t do much for my self-esteem
I watch people laugh and go about their lives
While I feel stuck and left behind
These are the unfortunate realities of depression
Each time, I know or I hope I’ll feel better soon
But it always takes much longer than I think
And days go by so slowly
At such times, my friends are my life boats
They give me energy to go on
Their encouragement is the sunshine of my day
Their love lifts me up
Depression sucks!
And only good friends and family
Are my solace during those times
February 2nd, 2023
Over time, scars become part of us
They reflect the experiences we’ve had
And hardships we have endured
They decorate our body
And tell a story to whoever is willing to listen
I have a scar on my wrist which I’ve had since my childhood
I don’t even think of it as a scar anymore
It’s just how the inside of my left wrist looks like
It happened when I was 5 or 6
I broke a glass window as I tried to stop myself
After having run towards it
I no longer remember the pain or the bloody scene
All I know is that I survived it
My breast cancer scars will become of part of me too
I’ll accept them and see them as a part of my healing
January 31st, 2023
Am I under constant stress due to my cancer treatment?
I’d say no
It’s been seven months since the diagnosis
The first few weeks very stressful
The sense of disbelief
Getting used to the idea or accepting it
All the what-ifs that go through your mind
And then accepting what’s to come
Initially, I thought I’d only need surgery and radiation
But then came the news of chemo
That was a tough pill to swallow
But we have no choice but to accept
The surprises life brings us
Acceptance brings us a certain level of peace
The first three months of chemo were tough
Especially because my mood was affected
Now, I’m back to my normal life
And so happy to be writing again
So, I’m not stressed right now
Just going through the various stages of treatment
Knowing that the prognosis is good
Feeling the love and support of my family and friends
And making the best of the situation that I’m in
January 31st, 2023
Some people don’t like to share their cancer story
I understand that
It’s a personal matter
And often not easy to talk about
But for me, it has been the cause of
Connecting with old friends
And receiving a lot of support and love
It’s hard to be vulnerable
Less than perfect
But revealing our vulnerability has many rewards
We get everyone’s love and support
And their prayers for healing
We can connect to others on a deeper level
It’s a win win in my opinion
But it took some years for me to be this open
With my challenges in life
I had to learn to trust
To know that others will only give me their unconditional love
I had to understand the value of community
Of reaching out
And I’m so grateful for all of your love
January 27th, 2023
lida's musings 