Archive | December 2014

Showing the real me!

The real me!

She was not afraid to show her face
At a time when showing her face was akin to a crime

But she was not afraid
She removed the veil and showed her face
Some were confused
Some were perturbed
Some were shocked!

But she was not afraid
She had the courage of her convictions
She knew who she was

I draw on her courage to show you the real me
To remove the mask of pretence
The mask of ‘acceptable’
The mask of ‘normal’

And I don’t think the real me
Will shock others so much
Because I’m not that unique
My experiences are my neighbours’ experiences
My friends’ experiences
Or perhaps yours

I’m not so unique
Any pain I have experienced
Has been experienced by others as well
Any challenge I’ve had
Has been the lot of others as well

She showed her face when showing her face
Was akin to a crime
All I’m doing is showing you the real me!

Lida Berghuis
December 18th, 2014

Authenticity

“Vulnerability is the birth place of love, creativity
joy, and belonging”

One has to risk rejection to find love
One has to be open to trying something new and untested
to be creative
One has to have known sorrow to know joy
One as to share one’s weaknesses to be welcomed
into an authentic relationship with someone else

It’s easy to show our happy, together,
confident, optimistic side
It takes courage to show our pain, sorrow,
insecurities, and doubts

It’s easy to play it safe, afraid of making a mistake
It takes courage to take a leap of faith

It’s easy to decide when the outcome is clear
It’s more difficult to accept the uncertainties of life

I used to want a letter from God
telling me which way to go and what to choose
I now know that growth comes from making the
best decision with the information I have
knowing that it may not lead me to the desired destination right away
but that eventually I’ll find my way

Life is not a straight line
It’s a jagged line
or perhaps it’s a meandering river
going to the right or the left sometimes
but all the way adjusting its course
to reach the ocean in time

And the way to accept this perceived imperfection
in our path in life is to realise
that in any case
we are worthy of love
and we will be loved!

Lida Berghuis
December 16th, 2014

*Brene Brown

Behind the mask…

So many are the secrets we keep
The masks we wear
To appear ‘normal’
To look ‘happy’

The only problem is that we can
Only keep secrets so long
Eventually, the mask wears out
And then our pain is plain
For others to see

The secret needs to be addressed
What’s under the mask needs to be revealed
So healing can begin

So many people wear the mask of ‘normal’
That we feel we will stand out if we don’t
So many of us put on a show
That the show appears to be reality

But so often behind the mask of happy
Hides an injured heart, a despondent soul
Someone looking for love

When one of us takes off the mask of perfection
Admits to having challenges, needing support
It’s easier for someone else to do the same
And if this process happens enough times
We will feel less inclined to hide
Hide our true feelings
Hide our distress
Hide what’s bothering us
Pretend we’re fine!

Lida Berghuis
December 15th, 2014

My sanity!

One hour a day, I treat myself
I treat myself to a cup of coffee
In a sunny coffee shop (when the sun it out)
I treat myself to
Reading what I want
Writing what I want
Contemplating life…

I treat myself because
The rest of day
I think of my family and their needs
I think of my students and their needs
I take care of my responsibilities and my to-do list

And because I treat myself one hour a day
I’m a happier person the rest of the day!

Being selfless is good I’m sure
And I am selfless some of the day
But I need my hour that’s for me
In order to function optimally!

Giving and being there for others
Is a noble thing
But so is taking care of my sanity!

Lida Berghuis
December 4th, 2014

Reflections on identity…

I’m a Persian girl who grew up in Canada
Married a Dutchman and lives in Quebec now!
Where should I start?
I guess at the beginning…

My Persian heritage has shaped me
It has given me the gift of poetry, hospitality
And strong family ties

My Canadian upbringing
Has given me the gift of religious freedom
Our best attempts at equality of women and men
And freedom to be me
Not what others expect me to be!

My association with the Dutch
Has given me the gift of authenticity
Artistic expression, music and love!

My time in Quebec has given me
My passion for poetry, exploration of the arts
Self discovery and growth!

I’m happy to be all of the above
And I’m thankful for each!

It hasn’t always been east to navigate
Different cultures and try to figure out
Where I belong
But I’m in a good place now
Not hesitant to acknowledge my heritage
Not worried that I don’t fit in
Not confused about where home is

As they say
Home is where the heart is
And perhaps I’ve had many homes
This is the kind of world we live in
Things are not black or white
But all the colours in between

Lida Berghuis
December 1st, 2014