Tag Archive | change

My notebooks

 

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Days go by

Seasons change

And I write in my notebooks

Children grow up

Life changes

And I keep writing in my notebooks

Dreams are dreamt

Some become reality

And I keep writing in my notebooks

My notebooks have created

A beautiful pile

Colourful and different each 

They are the repository of my thoughts

My writing a daily meditation for me

We move from city to city

Sometimes from one country to another

And I keep writing in my notebooks

Writing is the constant in my life

My notebooks always come with me

 

September 23rd, 2018

Changes

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I raised my kids not thinking

About the day they would leave home

Sure, there were times when I looked forward

To having more time for myself

But now I realize what a void they will leave in my heart

When they leave

Having been a stay at home mom

And then working part-time

I have been lucky to have been with my children

A lot of the time

When they leave

I have to fill that empty space with 

Other people and other activities

There is still a few months left 

Before any of them leave

But I’m trying to prepare myself 

Although I don’t think that I’ll ever be ready

But we raise our kids so that

One day they can leave and be

Productive members of the community

It’s sad to see them leave

And yet I have to think of the opportunities it brings

 

September 20th, 2018

Changes

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Thankful to be feeling well again

Thankful to start teaching again

Everything has a season

And the season of sadness is over

 

It took a while

It was extremely hard sometimes 

I would lose hope

I’d get frustrated a lot 

I was unhappy to be in darkness again

I was tired of hanging in there

 

Summer came and summer left

My mood finally began to change

As suddenly as darkness came 

One day it began to leave again

 

Still haven’t left it behind

Still processing this time

But I’m working my way back to me

To the confident, optimistic me

 

It will take a while

That’s normal

I’ll keep writing till all the sadness is gone 

 

August 21st, 2018

Earthquake

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When assumptions I’ve held for a while
Are shattered
When the veil falls off
And what’s underneath is clear to see
It causes a little earthquake inside me
I have to recalibrate my understanding
The aftershocks come as well
It takes a while before all is quiet again
But of course the shape of the landscape has irreversibly changed

April 4th 2018

Change

When your long held ideas about something
Begin to change
When light starts shining through the blinds
When you reconsider how you thought about things
Because pleasant surprises come your way
You feel a newfound joy
You feel lighter

How we feel and think about things
Is not carved in stone
And even if is
The passage of water
And the flow of ideas can change it
And if that change leads to greater unity
What a blessed change it is

July 25th, 2017

Light bulb moment

Life is harder when we focus on ourselves
Our challenges, our unexpected difficulties

I now have the challenge of teaching English
To adult students who speak almost NO English

At first, I was frustrated
A bit in disbelief that there are still people
With almost no knowledge of English

I thought I didn’t have the patience
To teach this group
And found the material I taught
Mundane and boring

Brother, sister, son, daughter
All new words for this group of eager students
It was something else trying to explain the verb ‘to need’
As in I need some milk

Then suddenly a light bulb turned on in my head
I started seeing things from my students’ point of view
They are at the beginning of an adventure
Learning a new language
And each day, they double and triple
What they used to know

They try hard
They help each other
And they come to class with smiles on their faces
And a sense of mission

Looking at it this way
What I did became more meaningful to me
Yes, we talk about very simple things:
I like ice cream, I don’t like hot dogs
But these are words that were not
In their vocabulary until now
They will be able to communicate
In a new language soon

Last time we met,
I taught them ‘have a good weekend’
And with that we said goodbye
Teachers keep learning too
No matter how many years they have taught

September 16th, 2016

The spiritual climb

Our body is an external shell
Our spirit what animates it
Our body matures and eventually declines
But our spirit in on a never ending journey

The delight we take in beauty and art
The creativity that flows from us
The compassion we feel for others
Our patience and perseverance
These qualities of our spirit never age
If anything they flourish in time
Experience polishes them
And makes them shine

Age is an expression of the days we’ve lived
But as far as our inner attributes are concerned
Age does not lead to decline
On the contrary
We can continue to climb
August 29th, 2016