Archive | April 2012

On suffering

Do we need to suffer to grow?
I think so
Do we want to suffer?
I think not!

Does suffering lead to growth?
It can
What does that depend on?
On us!

Where does that growth come from?
From change
Change in the way we see things
Change in the way we act

How does that change come to be?
From reflection
And a desire to grow

Can suffering break us?
I think it can
Does it have to?
I think not

Is life about suffering?
I don’t think so
Is it about growth?
I’d say yes

Does suffering lead to humility?
I think so
Is there a way around it?
I think not

Can suffering be our friend?
I think so
It depends on us
And how we respond

Am I at peace with the idea of suffering?
I think so
Will I look for it?
I think not!

Lida Berghuis
April 28th, 2012

The D-bomb

People drop the F-bomb
much more often than
the D-bomb!
Don’t you think?

Why is depression
This ten letter word
Treated with more disdain
More suspicion
More stigma
Than four letter words?

Could it be that because like the
C-word, cancer
We associate it with
A dark and dreary condition
That often doesn’t have a cure?
And even that is changing

Is it because
Depression conjures up
Images of crying for days on end?
Being in bed for
Hours at a time?
Images of hopelessness
And all the things we’d rather
Not think about?

It is because se associate
Depression with a weak will
A defect of some kind?

Is it because we call it
A mental illness
And that conjures up
Images of patients in a
Psychiatric ward
Dulled by medication
Isolated and unwanted
By the rest of us?

I think it’s all of the above
And some more

Perhaps it’s because once someone
Conquers depression and feels good
They rarely talk about it
And share their victory

Perhaps it’s because
We don’t hear the stories
Of beating the blues and the
Transformational changes that
Can occur while dealing
With the challenges it brings

Perhaps it’s because
It takes courage
To share
To be one of the first few
Who brake the silence
Drop the veil
And let others know
That depression
Is as treatable as any other thing
It’s not one’s fault
Not a sign of weakness
Not a terminal illness
Nor a tunnel of darkness
Without end

The conversation
Is starting though
And I’m happy to add my voice
To those who have seen the darkness
And made their way to the light

Lida Berghuis
April 15th, 2012

My part!


I used to pray and hope for
A letter from God!
With clear instructions
In legible handwriting please!

I used to pray and
And wait for a miracle
Ones that would erase
My problems with ease!

What I failed to realize
Was that prayer was a means
Of empowering me to
Find ways to grow and change
Find new ways of doing things

I assumed that change would happen
On its own
By the grace of God
My role was somehow left out!

I had to learn that
Problem solving starts with me
Examining the way I thought
Acted and lived

I had to learn
That self knowledge
Would lead to understanding
Understanding to doing things differently
And that would lead to healing

Why I left out this crucial part
I don’’t know
Perhaps because it required effort
Perhaps because I didn’’t realize
That in my own hands lay my destiny

I had to learn that
Inner change happens slowly
There are no quick fixes
Nor short cuts
But slowly and over time
The process gathers momentum
And there is no stopping it

I had to learn that
Once I took the first hard step
And saw some success
Taking the second step
Would be easier
And soon I’’d be walking
With much less effort
On the path that leads to
Understanding and healing

I had to learn I couldn’’t
Do all this on my own
That I needed guides
I needed friends
I needed those who would
Support me on the way
To a new understanding

Now I still pray
But I know I also have my role to play

Lida Berghuis
April 14th, 2012















Normal or real?


“Normal is someone we don’’t know well”
Goes the quote

We all have a public persona
And a private one
The public one gravitates to the norm
The private one is free and flawed
“Normal” is what we show on the outside
Flawed and real what we keep inside

Deep inside
We are all imperfect and insecure
We all have fears and anxiety
We all make mistakes
We all feel shame

Our public persona
Smiles and posts happy status updates
Our public persona
Smiles in all the pictures

Deep inside
We all have cried
Felt lost and hurt
Fallen flat on our faces
Lived where confusion reigns

Sometimes we live in a fantasy world
Where everything is supposed
To go well all the time
Where success comes easily
Where mistakes are frowned upon
Where heartache is to be avoided
Where pain is to be run from

But the real world
Is messy and seems unfair
In the real world
Darkness and light exist together
In the real world
Mistakes can lead to growth
In the real world
Normal is what we see
And reality resides within

Lida Berghuis
April 5th, 2012