Silence
That’s all I hear
As he sits next to me
We are driving
The destination, unknown
I look at him
He’s pensive
Looking straight ahead
Sometimes he looks out the window
Still deep in thought
What does he see out there?
What is he thinking?
Is he upset?
Have I don’t something wrong?
Why so silent?
I ask him a question to start a dialogue
He says he doesn’t feel like talking
He prefers to be silent
But his silence sounds like a scream to me
January 29th, 2021
When you stop people from talking
When you close the schools down
When people can’t go to work
And the nation comes to a stop
There is something that’s not right
Something that can’t be explained away
In this age of communication
There is something wrong if you don’t let
people communicate
The seeming peace is a mirage
The embers are burning under the logs
Fire can still erupt from those embers
If the conditions are right
It’s not silence when you cover someone’s mouth
It’s not freedom if you don’t let people talk
November 17th, 2019
Thinking of the people of Iran
We can play it safe and follow the status quo
Or we can live based on principle and stand out
The courage to question the norm
When the norm seems unfair
The courage to stand for friendship and justice
The courage to defend a fellow man or woman
This kind of courage is admirable anywhere
What’s unfair is unfair
No matter how much the truth is twisted and turned
In the age of instant communication
It’s harder to convince people of whatever one wants
Those old ways don’t work anymore
Soon, what’s been hidden will come to fore
May we have the courage to stand
For what’s true and fair
May we break our silence when we see injustice
There was a time propaganda would work
But now everyone is looking for proof
To all those who stand for truth
I salute you, I honour you!
May 16th, 2016
Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about!
Why talk about it?
Because now, I can!
I’ve been silent in the past
Perpetuating the code of silence
But it’s easier to talk about it now
Having made peace with who I am
Why talk about it?
Because there are too many misconceptions out there
And silence perpetuates them!
Why talk about it?
To give others courage and permission to do the same!
Why talk about it?
To chip away at the stigma of depression and anxiety
These all too present chapters in our lives
That we rather skip, deny or forget!
Why talk about it?
Because anything that comes to light
Is not as scary as when it is lurking in the dark
Why talk about it?
So others know they are not alone
To let them know that there are answers out there
That there is light at the end of this tunnel of darkness!
Why talk about it?
So others know I understand their pain
Their suffering, their feeling of helplessness and hopelessness
I understand how much courage it takes
To keep going despite the constant pain!
Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about
Because we need to break the code of silence
We need to speak out, so others can as well!
Lida Berghuis
November 4th, 2014
I’m an extrovert
That I know for sure!
For me, being in someone’s company
And conversation go hand in hand
Sitting side by side in silence is almost
Impolite in my book!
It means I don’t want to talk to you
Which means I don’t like you or
I’m angry with you!
But an introvert is OK with silence
Ok with thinking things through when in someone’s company
Needs to day dream more than needs to talk
Has to have a really good reason to talk!
When an introvert is upset
They tend to not want to share what is bothering them
Which makes me confused since I don’t know how to help
And plus, why don’t they want to share what’s going on?
Wouldn’t that make them feel better?
I feel shut out!
I’ve come to learn that
An introvert needs lots of space
Lots of alone time
And problem solving is not a group activity for them
It can be done in solitude most of the time!
And now the hamster ball!
An introvert, I’ve come to know
Has a personal space that can’t be breached
They tend to live in a hamster ball
Be careful when you approach them
Don’t go sit next to them
Let them come sit next to you when it’s time
An introvert finds big social groups draining
They can only take so much company
Then the need to go back to a quiet, comfortable, known place
To recharge!
That’s really hard to understand for me
Because I get energy from being with people
I love small groups, big groups, groups of any kind
I come alive in the company of people
When surrounded by people
I’m in my element
I am where I belong!
I do need down time
Time for me and my thoughts
But an hour or two a day will do
It need not be very long
Understanding an introvert
Is like understanding someone from another culture
Misunderstandings can happen
Flexibility is needed
As well as an open mind and open heart!
But we are all people in the end
There is nothing a little communication
Some understanding
And genuine love cannot resolve!
Lida Berghuis
October 18th, 2014
Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about!
Why talk about it?
Because I feel I can!
Why talk about it?
Because many don’t, or can’t
Why talk about it?
To break the code of silence
That keeps us quiet
And keeps us in the dark!
Why talk about it?
Because it’s time
I feel ready now!
Why talk about it?
Because there are too many
Misconceptions out there
Why talk about it?
To give a voice to people
Who suffer needlessly
Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be done!
Why talk about it?
To give hope!
Why talk about it?
To celebrate victory!
Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be done!
Lida Berghuis
September 20th, 2014
“You’ve got to let people know if their words hurt you
Staying silent at such times
When emotions churn like torrents in your heart
Is not a good thing!”
Apparently this is called being passive
And I know that it’s not a good thing
In fact, it’s a problematic thing!
The problem with being passive
Is that I pretend to be fine
But I’m anything but fine!
The problem with being passive
Is that I smile
But in reality, I’m ready to cry!
The problem with being passive
Is that I feel powerless
Attacked, yet unable to respond
I don’t want to attack back, just respond
I wear the mask of indifference or being content
But under the mask, I’m boiling mad!
The problem is that this takes me back to when I was a child
And I could not communicate my needs and wants
I sometimes felt powerless back then too, but didn’t even know what was wrong
So, what am I to do now
When I know more than I did before
I just need to feel strong enough
To speak up!
To let someone know I’m not feeling fine
That I feel angry and hurt
That I’m a sensitive soul
And sometimes feel too much!
This is a work in progress for me
I’m much better than I used to be
Most times, I can speak up and speak my mind
I can respond if I feel criticised and feel that
There is more to the story, and we need to talk
But sometimes still
When something comes out of the left field
When I don’t expect it
I can still be taken aback
Be silenced into submission
Feel powerless
Feel wronged!
And that’s OK too
Because life is a school of sorts
Learning never really ends
One does not attain perfection!
One is always a work in progress!
So, I try to learn from my experience and move on
I’m sure I’ll be tested one more time
And then I can show what I’ve learned
And what I still need to work on!
Lida Berghuis
September 16th, 2014
I sit in solitude
My mind roaming in a world
That is here, but is not
It’s close to us
But it can be far
Silence brings me there
Reflection guides me there
Inspiration is found there
Serenity resides there
It’s like roaming in a rarified atmosphere
Examining reality
Listening to the voices within
It’s like opening a gateway
To a different world
A magical world
A mystical world
And these wonderings are so liberating
So intoxicating
So addictive
That they call me back each day
Lest my day not be spent
Even if it’s momentarily
In that world of mystery
Lida Berghuis
September 25th, 2013
Why this code of silence?
What do we fear?
Why such stigma?
Where do we go from here?
Why does a word like depression
Scare us so?
Why do we feel ashamed
Powerless or both?
Why do we feel as if
Its all our fault?
Why so many misconceptions
Enough is enough!
Depression has a cause
Like other diseases do
It also can be treated
If attended to
Its not this strange, enigmatic affair
One is not doomed to years of despair
It can be debilitating no doubt
The danger comes from doing nothing at all
The first step is to break the code of silence
To change our understanding of what we call mental illness
Perhaps we need some new terminology
Something less outdated and scary
We need to talk
We need to understand
Knowledge is power
Lets stop burying our heads in the sand!
Lida Berghuis
January 22nd, 2012
lida's musings 