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Stay with me

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Once my daughter was distraught 

Life seemed confusing

Questions were many

Joy was gone

And tears ran down her cheeks 

Like rain from the clouds

 

I wanted to help her

I asked her what I should do

She said sit next to me mom

Don’t leave me alone

 

We talked a little 

I tried to console her

But later she told me 

I left too soon

 

She said she needed me there

I asked her what for?

Just to be with me mom

So I wouldn’t feel alone

 

Loneliness is the worst thing

During hard times

 

26 January 2019

Black and brown

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Natasha and I are sitting side by side

Talking about organizing the storage space in our house

Growing an indoor herb garden

And cleaning out parts of her room

 

She is very talkative and not on her phone

And we are chatting it up

But you wouldn’t want to see us now 

Or take our photograph

 

We are sitting side by side in the hair salon

With color on our hair 

She is going from brown to black

And I’m going from black to brown

The grass is always greener on the other side, after all

January 24th, 2019

What I can promise you

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I didn’t promise you a heartache free life

I do promise or hold your hand when adversity visits

I didn’t promise you that you will always be happy

I do promise you that happiness returns

I don’t expect you not to make mistakes

I expect you to learn from your experiences

I don’t expect you to be perfect

I expect you to try your hardest and be kind above all else

Life is not a bed of roses

And even if it were, the thorns are plentiful

To partake of the beauty of the rose

You have to endure the pain of picking it

I have taught you to swim

But it’s you who has to and who can swim

The long distances to the shore of contentment

 

December 29th, 2018

Changes

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I raised my kids not thinking

About the day they would leave home

Sure, there were times when I looked forward

To having more time for myself

But now I realize what a void they will leave in my heart

When they leave

Having been a stay at home mom

And then working part-time

I have been lucky to have been with my children

A lot of the time

When they leave

I have to fill that empty space with 

Other people and other activities

There is still a few months left 

Before any of them leave

But I’m trying to prepare myself 

Although I don’t think that I’ll ever be ready

But we raise our kids so that

One day they can leave and be

Productive members of the community

It’s sad to see them leave

And yet I have to think of the opportunities it brings

 

September 20th, 2018

Blanket please!

Natalie walks up from her room in the basement
Carrying her soft green blanket
She loves blankets whether it’s summer, fall or winter
They are her companion when she watches TV
They offer her a warm and soft place to be enveloped in

Another one of her blankets is already on the couch
When I point that out
She says she’d like now

Natalie’s love-affair with blankets goes way back
And anytime I see a soft blanket in a store
I wonderful if I should get it and bring it back

It reminds me of the large fluffy dog she asked for
When she was a child
One she kept in her bed for a long time
Now, Cashew has replaced that dog
She gives the best cuddles and she’s even warm

Natasha used to walk with big blankets around the house
No sweaters or robe de chambers for her
Blankets are much better for staying warm she thought
No matter how impractical

Nick is the only one who doesn’t carry blankets around
And no lounging in pyjamas for him either
He showers and gets dressed first thing in the morning
He seems to like that routine

Children are all wonderful and unique
And that goes for their use of blankets , as you can see

September 12th, 2016

Daughters

 

Fathers and daughters have a special bond
I always felt close to my dad
And even now when his physical presence is no longer here
I still count on his support and love

I ask him for help and he responds
I know he’s aware of what’s going on
Sometimes he comes to my dreams and acts as a guide
I know that I’m still in his heart

My daughters and Albert have the same relationship
What draws them to each other, I don’t know
But there was a time when Nat would ask something
And before the sentence was done
Albert would say yes
I had asked the same thing an hour earlier
But the answer was not the same!

Albert would spend hours going over
Homework with Nat, after a long day at the office

Somehow Albert could not say no to her
Nat’s batting eyelashes did their job each time
She had her dad wrapped around her fingers
And I couldn’t figure out what her magic was

There’s something that draws on the
Heartstrings of a dad
When a request comes from his daughter
It’s as if he’s mesmerized
Mind and reason play no part!

It’s a special relationship
It’s a strong bond
One I’m happy to have experienced with my dad
Moms have the same relationship with their sons
So they need not worry and feel left out
January 30th, 2016

A letter to my daughter

January 11th, 2015
Dear Natalie,
My daughter, in Zambia
I’m sending you a letter
Since the Internet is not always on

You had to call us long distance
On your cell phone
And God knows how much
The roaming charges will be
But that’s what parents are for
No worries

The spiders and the beetles in your room
Have conspired against you
They keep an eye on you day and night
But perhaps you’re in their space
Not the other way around

The monkeys are cute I hear
And there are snakes around
You’d start thinking you were in Africa!

The weather is warm
And the people are warm
If that’s too much heat
I wish I could send you some snow

Natalie, dear
Enjoy your time there
You’re creating memories
That will be with you always…