Tag Archive | acceptance

Am I stressed?

Jan31

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Am I under constant stress due to my cancer treatment?

I’d say no

It’s been seven months since the diagnosis

The first few weeks very stressful

The sense of disbelief

Getting used to the idea or accepting it

All the what-ifs that go through your mind

And then accepting what’s to come

Initially, I thought I’d only need surgery and radiation

But then came the news of chemo

That was a tough pill to swallow

But we have no choice but to accept

The surprises life brings us

Acceptance brings us a certain level of peace

The first three months of chemo were tough

Especially because my mood was affected

Now, I’m back to my normal life

And so happy to be writing again

So, I’m not stressed right now

Just going through the various stages of treatment

Knowing that the prognosis is good

Feeling the love and support of my family and friends

And making the best of the situation that I’m in

January 31st, 2023

Winter arrives

Nov12

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Whether we complain or not

The snow will return each year

If we complain

We just create bad vibes and unhappiness 

One has to learn to live with the cold and snow of winter

 

We all go through it together

Experiencing the challenges

And everyday that passes 

We are one day closer to spring

 

I may change my mind in February 

But for now I’ll remain optimistic

 

November 11th, 2019

Feelings

Jul21

Sometimes you just have to sit with the feelings you feel

They can’t be explained or reasoned out

They can’t be banished from your mind

They can’t be ignored

The only thing you can do is accept them

You have to walk through them, not around them

July 17, 2017

For now…

Jun23

For now…

So, it’s not what I wanted
Nothing I planned
The situation plumps itself down on me
and I feel its heavy burden

Where did it come from?
Another surprise on the road of life?
Was it in my blind spot?
Why didn’t someone warn me?
I guess then it wouldn’t be a surprise!

Now it’s here
I feel the unease
Actually I don’t feel good at all
I was going merrily on the road of life
And now this…

I’m told I’m supposed to accept what comes my way
That resistance is futile
But how does one accept unpleasant things
The situation reminds me of one of the valleys of love:

“On this plane, the traveler meeteth with many a trial and reverse.
Now is he lifted up to heaven, now is he cast into the depths.
As it hath been said: “Now Thou drawest me to the summit of glory,
Again Thou castest me into the lowest abyss.”*

What is the traveller to do?
I can see that the opposite of acceptance is not helpful
Won’t change things
It only creates bad feelings

So first I have to accept it’s OK not to be in my comfort zone for now…
It’s OK to be frustrated … for now
It’s OK to not have it easy… for now
It’s OK! For now!

And in the meantime
I’ll look for solutions
I will try to get around the obstacles of life
And find an alternative route

The process is not pleasant, I admit
But accepting things the way they are now
And remaining thankful for all that is going right, is key!

Lida Berghuis
June 22nd, 2015

*Baha’u’llah, The Four Valleys

"Forge meaning from adversity"

Jan4

Adversity is a blessing if we are able to look
With the eye of wisdom and see the gems hidden in it

Adversity is opportunity for growth
Adversity makes visible the invisible
Shows us what’s essential and
Guides us to surrender, humility, and acceptance

When faced with adversity
One can crumble and complain incessantly
Or one can decide to take an active part
In tackling the situation
Not running from it
Not hoping for miracles
Not blaming others and even God!
But resolving to see what can be learned
How best one can cope and to keep setting
Noble goals despite what may seem like
Unsurmountable limitations

Lida Berghuis
January 2nd, 2015

Fabulous 50!

Sep28

Turning fifty has turned out well
Who says 50 can’t be fun!
Turning fifty has all kinds of advantages
To prove my point, here are some…

First, life is less hectic
The kids are now older and can do so much more for themselves
They can even lend a hand here and there and make my load lighter
They do their own laundry, their own homework
They can drive themselves places and…
They can even feed themselves if need be!

Second, life is more stable
And my chosen career is enjoying a good flow
Uncertainties have changed to certainty in some areas of life

Third, now that I’m somewhat sure of myself and the decisions I make
I don’t need everyone’s approval all the time
And with that comes peace of mind!

Fourth, I’ve learned to set some limits
As to what I can and cannot do!
Saying no to some projects is becoming easier!

Fifth, I’ve learned not to compare myself with others
Their limits, their level of energy, their priorities are theirs
And I have my own!

Sixth, My fifty years of life have given me some understanding
In some areas of life
And I feel happy to share some of that with others sometimes

Seventh, I’ve realised the value of art, creativity, and writing in my life
I know now why I need to write, why I want to write, why I have to write!

I think seven reasons are enough
Although I think there are more reasons
Why I like being fifty!

The more years we live
The more accumulation of experience and knowledge we can have
If this translates into wisdom and compassion and deeper faith
How can that ever be bad?

Turning fifty has been wonderful
I feel comfortable in my own skin
Life has not been easy always
But then challenges are necessary in life
I’ve been fortunate in so many ways
I am thankful for the good and the hard times
In hind sight, the hard times have taught me more
Getting up after falling down has made me stronger
I still feel quite fragile sometimes
But being sensitive is alright!

I accept who I am
How far I’ve come
And I look to the future
With an open heart and an open mind!

Lida Berghuis
September 22nd, 2014

Mysteries of life…

Jul20

How is it that things we imagine have the worst timing in our lives
Become the blessings we never expected?

How is it that things we don’t plan
End up having the best outcomes?

How is it that we can be so mistaken?

Perhaps these things come our way to teach us humility
Humility of acceptance
Trust in the Universe
Contentment under all conditions!

Our ego fights a battle to death
And if we’re lucky
It’s the ego that loses!

Mysteries of life abound!
Learning is life-long
Humility is learned one trial at a time…

Lida Berghuis
July 20th, 2014

Feeling dial!

Nov25

Why do I always feel so much?
Why can’’t I be numb once in a while?
Why can’’t I shut down my heart
To the pain and sorrow that’’s around?

Not feeling is not the answer
Feeling numb does not make sense!
But feeling less may be OK
I think I need a feelings dial!

But a machine I’m not
And I don’t have a dial
I am who I am
And I have to accept it all
Accept my strengths
And my flaws

This world is not made
For perfect people
But for those who will try
And those who will strive

Strive to be better
Strive to serve
Strive to learn
And not give up

Not give up
In the face of calamity
In the throws of pain
Not give up
When the going gets tough
And the walls come up!

So I’’ll live my life
With its tears of sorrow
Its laughter and fun
I’’ll feel what I’’ll feel
I’’ll accept it all
Don’’t have much choice
So said a friend of mine!

Lida Berghuis
August 23rd, 2007

It was what it was!

Jun24

It is what it is
It was what it was
Accept what is
If you can’t make it ‘was’

Accepting is not giving in
Is not giving up
Accepting is not fighting
When fighting does not give results

It is what it is
It was what it was
The past can’t be rewritten
And it need not!

Good experiences
Sad experiences
Make us who we are
Happiness, sadness
Part of life

It is what it is
It was what it was
It’s all good
And as it should be
March on!

Lida Berghuis
June 24th, 2013

The humility of acceptance

Nov28

“The humility of acceptance”
What profound words

To accept our shortcomings
To acknowledge them
To live with them
And work towards overcoming them

Not to expect perfection
Because that can’t be
But to seek improvement
Be as good as we can be

To know we have limits
And to respect them
To know we can break
If we don’t acknowledge them

To accept ourselves as we are
Even during moments of weakness
To look for lessons we need to learn
To know we can be mistaken

To realize that growth
Can happen anytime
When one is an adult
Or a child

To face problems
Rather than run from them
To know we can succeed
If we try

To feel empowered to act
To have faith in goodness and kindness
To reach out to others
When we’re down

To have patience when
Something takes time
The end will come
It always does

The humility of acceptance
Comes with time
Comes with trials
It comes with battles lost and won

Lida Berghuis
November 5th, 2011