Tag Archive | limits

limits

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What’s the difference between our interactions online
And those in person
Can’t pretend that the online world does not exist
That’s how we stay in touch with family and friends
Acorss the country and around the world
It’s like letter writing on steroids

The online community is as real as the people who live close to us
We get emotional support from both
We exchange ideas both ways
We bring others cheer both ways

The secret as always is moderation
Anything done to excess is not good
Some limits we need to create for ourselves
No one else can do this for me and you

So the challenge is knowing
When it’s enough
When to stop
When to go offline
I tend to write more when I do
And this poem came to be
Because…
I left my phone accidentally at home

Dec. 5th, 2017

The person I’ve become

The person I’ve become
Is more authentic, more real!
I don’t wear a mask as much
I confide in my friends

The person I’ve become
Knows her limits better
I don’t compare myself to others as much
I’ve learned to say no more often
I’ve learned to ask for what I need

The person I’ve become
Takes more responsibility
Feels more empowered to create change
To change myself
My thoughts
And therefore my actions and feelings

The person I’ve become
Sees challenges as an integral part of life
Not to run from
But to learn from

The person I’ve become
Takes care of herself
Without self care, one can’t help others
One burns out!

The person I’ve become
Sees interdependence as essential
Life is not meant to be lived in a solitary way
We need each other’s help
We need to build deep, authentic friendships and
Call on each other when we need support and help

The person I’ve become
Knows there is more to learn
There is always room for improvement
Ways to do things better
New ways of thought
Deeper understanding

The person I’ve become
Is more thankful
Seeing good in all that comes my way
The person I’ve become
Tries not to take simple things for granted!

Lida Berghuis
January 15th, 2015

Fabulous 50!

Turning fifty has turned out well
Who says 50 can’t be fun!
Turning fifty has all kinds of advantages
To prove my point, here are some…

First, life is less hectic
The kids are now older and can do so much more for themselves
They can even lend a hand here and there and make my load lighter
They do their own laundry, their own homework
They can drive themselves places and…
They can even feed themselves if need be!

Second, life is more stable
And my chosen career is enjoying a good flow
Uncertainties have changed to certainty in some areas of life

Third, now that I’m somewhat sure of myself and the decisions I make
I don’t need everyone’s approval all the time
And with that comes peace of mind!

Fourth, I’ve learned to set some limits
As to what I can and cannot do!
Saying no to some projects is becoming easier!

Fifth, I’ve learned not to compare myself with others
Their limits, their level of energy, their priorities are theirs
And I have my own!

Sixth, My fifty years of life have given me some understanding
In some areas of life
And I feel happy to share some of that with others sometimes

Seventh, I’ve realised the value of art, creativity, and writing in my life
I know now why I need to write, why I want to write, why I have to write!

I think seven reasons are enough
Although I think there are more reasons
Why I like being fifty!

The more years we live
The more accumulation of experience and knowledge we can have
If this translates into wisdom and compassion and deeper faith
How can that ever be bad?

Turning fifty has been wonderful
I feel comfortable in my own skin
Life has not been easy always
But then challenges are necessary in life
I’ve been fortunate in so many ways
I am thankful for the good and the hard times
In hind sight, the hard times have taught me more
Getting up after falling down has made me stronger
I still feel quite fragile sometimes
But being sensitive is alright!

I accept who I am
How far I’ve come
And I look to the future
With an open heart and an open mind!

Lida Berghuis
September 22nd, 2014

The little voice I don’t listen to…

I may have figured out my limits somewhat…
But sometimes I don’t read the signals my body and mind
Send me, correctly

The ‘I’m tired’ signal is ignored
The ‘I’m frustrated’ signal is dismissed
The ‘I’ve taken on too much’ signal is pushed away!

At these times
I forget that I’m not super-human
I forget that I can say No!
I forget that I can drop projects temporarily
I forget that I can ask for help
I forget that my energy rises and falls
And sometimes I can do more, and sometimes
I need to do less!

I get caught up in the ‘rat race’ of service
I think more is better
That I will manage somehow
That next week, I will be less tired
That soon, I will catch up on my sleep!
That if I keep smiling, I won’t cry!

I forget to advocate for myself
I forget I don’t have to please everyone
I forget it’s my responsibility to know my limits
And say ‘no’ when it has been reached!

I forget that I need a lot of down-time
Time to write
Time to reflect
Time to meditate
Time to relax!

I keep going despite fatigue
Despite the fact that I get a feeling that
I have taken on too much again!

I don’t listen to the voice that tells me
It’s too much…
You’re not getting enough rest!
You need to ask for help!
You need to communicate better!

… Until it’s too late!

Lida Berghuis
August 31st, 2014

Not today!

I care about the news of the world
But not today!
I pay attention to my to do list
But not today!
I have my daily routine
But not today!

Sometimes I need a day
Like today
When I can leave my cares behind
Think of other things
Or nothing at all!

My duties and responsibilities will be there
Tomorrow and every other day

So, today I choose to forget them
Set them aside
Take a break from them
Banish them from my mind!

Because without days like today
I will bend and sometimes break!
We all have different limits of endurance
The load you can easily carry can break my back
I now know that I can’t and should not compete
With those who can carry heavier loads
Or have unrealistic expectations of my own

I hope I’ve learned how to take care of myself
I hope I’ve figured out what rejuvenates me

And so today…
I write myself into my peaceful place
The place of serenity and calm
The place of tenderness and love
The home of joy and peace of mind!

Lida Berghuis
May 11th, 2013

The humility of acceptance

“The humility of acceptance”
What profound words

To accept our shortcomings
To acknowledge them
To live with them
And work towards overcoming them

Not to expect perfection
Because that can’t be
But to seek improvement
Be as good as we can be

To know we have limits
And to respect them
To know we can break
If we don’t acknowledge them

To accept ourselves as we are
Even during moments of weakness
To look for lessons we need to learn
To know we can be mistaken

To realize that growth
Can happen anytime
When one is an adult
Or a child

To face problems
Rather than run from them
To know we can succeed
If we try

To feel empowered to act
To have faith in goodness and kindness
To reach out to others
When we’re down

To have patience when
Something takes time
The end will come
It always does

The humility of acceptance
Comes with time
Comes with trials
It comes with battles lost and won

Lida Berghuis
November 5th, 2011