Tag Archive | hurt

Taking the edge off

Oct6

 

image

When I see the pain on her face
I want to take an eraser and erase it

When I see the pain on her face
I want to come up with magical words
That will wash the pain away

When I see the pain on her face
My heart aches as well

My first instinct is to try to stop her pain
But sometimes all I need to do
Is to take the edge off the pain

A hug, an understanding glance
A sympathetic response
An acknowledgement of the ‘hurt’
Is all that’s needed

No, it won’t take the pain away
But it will give her a respite
From the severity of it

It will tell her that she’s not alone
That there is someone who understands her

It will tell her that someone is aware of
The turmoil she’s in

It also sends her the message that
She’s strong enough to endure the distress
That has come her way

No, I can’t make the pain go away
But my empathy can make a huge difference
In making the situation more bearable
And in taking the edge off the pain

Lida Berghuis
October 6th, 2015

Speak your mind…

Aug6

Speak your mind…

Say what you mean
Mean what you say
You’ll be happier
And others as well…

Hiding your emotions
Hiding your concerns
Is not a sign of consideration
And kindness
It’s a form of deceiving others
And yourself

When you pretend to be happy when
Your’s sad
You’re wasting a lot of energy
Keeping up the facade

When someone says something hurtful
And you remain silent
You’re hiding your emotions from them

So, speak your mind
With tact and care
Because you don’t want to hurt others instead

But speak your mind
Live out loud
It will serve you well in the long run…

Lida Berghuis
August 6th, 2015

A work in progress!

Sep16

“You’ve got to let people know if their words hurt you
Staying silent at such times
When emotions churn like torrents in your heart
Is not a good thing!”

Apparently this is called being passive
And I know that it’s not a good thing
In fact, it’s a problematic thing!

The problem with being passive
Is that I pretend to be fine
But I’m anything but fine!

The problem with being passive
Is that I smile
But in reality, I’m ready to cry!

The problem with being passive
Is that I feel powerless
Attacked, yet unable to respond
I don’t want to attack back, just respond
I wear the mask of indifference or being content
But under the mask, I’m boiling mad!

The problem is that this takes me back to when I was a child
And I could not communicate my needs and wants
I sometimes felt powerless back then too, but didn’t even know what was wrong

So, what am I to do now
When I know more than I did before
I just need to feel strong enough
To speak up!
To let someone know I’m not feeling fine
That I feel angry and hurt
That I’m a sensitive soul
And sometimes feel too much!

This is a work in progress for me
I’m much better than I used to be
Most times, I can speak up and speak my mind
I can respond if I feel criticised and feel that
There is more to the story, and we need to talk

But sometimes still
When something comes out of the left field
When I don’t expect it
I can still be taken aback
Be silenced into submission
Feel powerless
Feel wronged!

And that’s OK too
Because life is a school of sorts
Learning never really ends
One does not attain perfection!
One is always a work in progress!

So, I try to learn from my experience and move on
I’m sure I’ll be tested one more time
And then I can show what I’ve learned
And what I still need to work on!

Lida Berghuis
September 16th, 2014

Bullet-proof?

Jul16

The hurts of the past do come back
The uncertainty of the future always exists
These are the things I need to make peace with

How to grow in strength and love
That what hurt me before and can hurt me now
Wanes in strength and loses its grip on my psyche

I am not bullet proof and will never be
But the armour of love and compassion and reliance on God
Can protect me from the bullets of life!

I may get injured but I will heal
Sometimes I’m taken by surprise, but the secret is
To remain calm and not feel the need to defend or justify!

To have compassion for the one who unknowingly, sometimes
Is throwing the darts
The intention is mostly love
But sometimes the words just come out wrong

So, with peaceful acquiescence I face a new day
Fill my heart with love and care
Let go of the negative things
Celebrate the positive
And realise that no on can hurt me
If my heart is full of love!

Lida Berghuis
July 16th, 2014

When the dam breaks…

Mar9

It’s a dam built up of who knows what
But the dam keeps my emotions at bay
I try to ignore my anxiety
I try to ignore my pain
I try to ignore the hurt of the past
And the anxiety, hurt and pain
Has nowhere to go
It’s blocked!

But by the grace of God
The dam begins to crack
And the power of the hurt, pain and sorrow
Having increased,
They break the dam
And out flows the torrent of tears
And pent-up emotions

The rush of tears is uncontrollable
The pain arises from deep within
The emotions are so powerful
I don’t remember having sobbed like this
In anger!
In frustration!
In sorrow!

The pain is almost unbearable
The roar of the water so loud
But perhaps when all is said and done
I will let go of expectations
The sense of needing control
And the sense of being responsible
For other people’s lives

I’m back at the gates of humility of acceptance
And trust in God!

Lida Berghuis
March 3rd 2014