Archive | March 2013

Dropping the pretense of perfection!

We are raised to be independent
To accomplish things on our own
To stand on our own two feet
And that’s fine
But sometimes in the process
We forget that we still need
The love and support of friends

We forget that we need to be held
To be caressed
We need a shoulder to lean on
We need trusted friends we can confide in
We need to ask for help from time to time
That others aren’t so busy with their own lives
That they don’t have time for us!
That we are not a burden
When we reach out for a helping hand!

We forget how interdependent we are
We forget the value of true friendship
Sharing our thoughts and concerns with friends
Letting them hold us up for a while
Till we are strong again!

There is no shame in sadness
It’s not possible to be ‘up’ all the time
We don’t have to pretend to smile
If we are crying inside!

These are the things I had to learn
I had to learn not to be afraid to share my vulnerabilities
That moments of crisis come upon us all
And it’s during these moments
That our friends can be life boats
Rescuing us from turbulent sea of life

And I’ve learned that when I share
The stories of my trials
Others trust me enough to share theirs
And it’s this sharing that strengthens
The bonds of friendship

I’ve learned that to build genuine friendships
I need to be more genuine myself
To let the pretense of perfection drop
To share my sadness as well as my happiness
To reach out in times of trouble
To trust!

Lida Berghuis
March 28th, 2013

Sadness is the paint!*

The trials and sufferings of life are the medium
The canvas, what we must find to reveal the beauty
That can come from the trials of life

The paint is not enough
Sadness does not translate by itself
Into a work of art
The canvas, what we much search for
There is work to be done
Habits to let go of
New understanding to emerge
Virtues to be developed
Wisdom to be gained

Then we will realize
The gifts sadness has brought
The paint it has provided us with
And we can use this gift
To make a beautiful piece of art!

The trials, the paint
Our understanding, the canvas
The work of art a testimony to our growth!

Lida Berghuis
March 27th, 2013

*Mark Nepo, The book of awakening


The place I come to relax!
To write!
To forget my to-do list!
To just sit silently
To read
To be surrounded by people and music
To sit with my face in the sun
or next to the fireplace
To empty my cup
To catch my breath
To meditate and contemplate
To drink my morning coffee
To find my balance
To have some me-time
so I can care for others
the rest of the day!

Lida Berghuis
March 26th, 2013

The magic of poetry!





Sometimes we search for our identities
Especially if we are transplants in society

Born in the East
Bred in the West
I used to feel somewhere in between!

I felt at home in the West
But I was not sure
What to do with my Eastern roots
Eastern and Western
We are all one
But it took me a while
To reconcile these two parts!

It started when I began to read
The ‘translated’ poems of Rumi
The West made this Eastern jewel accessible to me!

For the first time I was really drawn to poetry!
This was not any poetry
It was mystical, and touched my heart!
It helped me understand!
It helped me heal!
It helped me see things more clearly!

Perhaps poetry is the great equalizer
It lets us know that we all have the same struggles
The same questions, the same fears and doubts
And we all need to love and be loved!

Perhaps poetry is all about love
Love for the Divine
Love for our fellow man
Love for the noble beings that we are

And then I put pen to paper
And wrote down my thoughts, my feelings
My experiences in life

Writing poetry was healing
Somehow feelings that were bottled up inside
Were allowed to slowly flow out!

The Western me and the Eastern me

Mingled and

The  poems were the result


Lida Berghuis
March 23rd, 2013

Lessons taught by pain!

I always knew humility was not my forte!
There were times I felt very self righteous
I thought I had the answer to many questions in life
I knew I didn’t know everything
But I thought I knew a lot!

The confidence I felt
Came from not having lived long enough
To experience real pain and real suffering in life

I had not fallen hard yet
Unable to get up
I had not been brought to my knees by the trials of life

I had not been thrown into confusion
And questioned the fairness of life

I had not come to the point of questioning the point of life
Considering all the suffering it entailed

But life has a way of showing us how small we are
How mistaken we can be
How easy it is to break and lose faith
How hard it can be to get up again!

And perhaps that’s good
Because these are lessons
That can’t be learned the easy way
These are lessons
That require the sobering effects of pain!

Lida Berghuis
March 19th, 2013

Fragile 2

Sometimes I think I feel too much
Absorb the energies around me too much
Positive people lift me up
But negativity drags me way down!

Somehow I feel this life
Is not meant to be easy
It will always be a struggle
With brief periods of respite!

Struggling and learning is part of life
But I sometimes wonder where to get
The energy to carry on after having fallen down!

Sometimes I feel so fragile
I feel like a flower petal that can be crushed
Blown away
And rained upon!

Sometimes I feel I’m not strong enough
For the needs of this world
That my skin is not thick enough
To withstand the bruises and the cuts!

Struggling is part of life
Joy is part of life
And the things that keep me going
Are art, the love of family and friends
My faith, and the beauty I see all around!

Lida Berghuis
March 6th, 2013

Investing if the return is certain

All worthwhile things in life involve risk!
Can’t wait for certainty to take that big step!
Can’t analyze every angle
And be completely sure
Of the outcome of the decision we make
Can’t guarantee success!
That’s the element of risk
Or faith, perhaps!

At the cross roads of life
We can weigh the pros and cons
We can imagine where we may land
We can guess what each step may bring

But in the end
We take a risk
We choose a path
Not totally certain of
Where it may lead

It’s being comfortable
With uncertainty
Living for now
Because we can’t be sure of the future
No matter how much we plan

A road that seems to lead to a garden
May end up in a dry patch of land
A path that does not look promising
But compelling
Will lead us to undiscovered places
Unexpected places
Places beyond our imagination, at that!

So we can calculate
We can analyze
We may wish for a “certain return”
But life does not work like that!

March 17th, 2013
Lida Berghuis

Note to self 4

Don’t feel responsible for everyone
They will have to learn things on their own
The way you did
The way you wanted to!

Experience is a great teacher
Mistakes are our friends sometimes
And growth takes time
Don’t judge others and who they are
We’re all different and that’s fine

Your way is not the best
It’s best for you perhaps
But others can make up their own minds

When someone is sad
Just hold them
Be with them
Give them love
Don’t try to fix things
Or take the pain away

Doesn’t matter why they’re sad
If there is a good reason or not
They just need to be acknowledged
Seen, and heard
And feel loved!

Don’t tell them they shouldn’t be sad
Or how lucky they are
Don’t tell them there is no reason to cry

Just hold them
Let them be
Give them your support
Be someone they can lean on!

Lida Berghuis
March 13th, 2013


Maybe I feel weak and fragile
Because I am weak and fragile!
Strength comes from another source!

I need not be strong
I just need to plug into
The power that comes to my assistance
When I call on it
When I align my will with it
And it’s not my strength that matters at all!

So being fragile is fine
Weakness is fine
Strength is Divine!
It’s a gift
It’s available to us
When we realize
Where real power lies!

It’s counter intuitive
In a world that sees
The individual as all powerful
And in charge

And that’s why I too forget
How things get done
And that it’s OK to be fragile!

Lida Berghuis
March 6th, 2013

That’s life!

“Surprise and challenge in
Heartache and joy out!”

I think this pretty much explains life
There are always surprises, big and small

What we plan does not work out
What works out, better than what we planned

Challenge is on-going like the waves of the sea
There is respite, but not for long

Heartache always visits us
But what we’ve got to do is to let go
Feel it deeply and let go
Accept it as part of life

Joy always returns and washes the pain away
The sun always returns another day

Lida Berghuis
March 9th, 2013

*Mark Nepo