The D-bomb

Apr23

People drop the F-bomb
much more often than
the D-bomb!
Don’t you think?

Why is depression
This ten letter word
Treated with more disdain
More suspicion
More stigma
Than four letter words?

Could it be that because like the
C-word, cancer
We associate it with
A dark and dreary condition
That often doesn’t have a cure?
And even that is changing
Now-a-days…

Is it because
Depression conjures up
Images of crying for days on end?
Being in bed for
Hours at a time?
Images of hopelessness
Helplessness
And all the things we’d rather
Not think about?

It is because se associate
Depression with a weak will
A defect of some kind?

Is it because we call it
A mental illness
And that conjures up
Images of patients in a
Psychiatric ward
Dulled by medication
Isolated and unwanted
By the rest of us?

I think it’s all of the above
And some more

Perhaps it’s because once someone
Conquers depression and feels good
They rarely talk about it
And share their victory

Perhaps it’s because
We don’t hear the stories
Of beating the blues and the
Transformational changes that
Can occur while dealing
With the challenges it brings

Perhaps it’s because
It takes courage
To share
To be one of the first few
Who brake the silence
Drop the veil
And let others know
That depression
Is as treatable as any other thing
It’s not one’s fault
Not a sign of weakness
Not a terminal illness
Nor a tunnel of darkness
Without end

The conversation
Is starting though
And I’m happy to add my voice
To those who have seen the darkness
And made their way to the light

Lida Berghuis
April 15th, 2012

My part!

Apr14

 

I used to pray and hope for
A letter from God!
With clear instructions
In legible handwriting please!

I used to pray and
And wait for a miracle
Ones that would erase
My problems with ease!

What I failed to realize
Was that prayer was a means
Of empowering me to
Find ways to grow and change
Find new ways of doing things

I assumed that change would happen
On its own
By the grace of God
My role was somehow left out!

I had to learn that
Problem solving starts with me
Examining the way I thought
Acted and lived

I had to learn
That self knowledge
Would lead to understanding
Understanding to doing things differently
And that would lead to healing

Why I left out this crucial part
I don’’t know
Perhaps because it required effort
Perhaps because I didn’’t realize
That in my own hands lay my destiny

I had to learn that
Inner change happens slowly
There are no quick fixes
Nor short cuts
But slowly and over time
The process gathers momentum
And there is no stopping it

I had to learn that
Once I took the first hard step
And saw some success
Taking the second step
Would be easier
And soon I’’d be walking
With much less effort
On the path that leads to
Understanding and healing

I had to learn I couldn’’t
Do all this on my own
That I needed guides
I needed friends
I needed those who would
Support me on the way
To a new understanding

Now I still pray
But I know I also have my role to play

Lida Berghuis
April 14th, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Normal or real?

Apr5

image

“Normal is someone we don’’t know well”
Goes the quote

We all have a public persona
And a private one
The public one gravitates to the norm
The private one is free and flawed
“Normal” is what we show on the outside
Flawed and real what we keep inside

Deep inside
We are all imperfect and insecure
We all have fears and anxiety
We all make mistakes
We all feel shame

Our public persona
Smiles and posts happy status updates
Our public persona
Smiles in all the pictures

Deep inside
We all have cried
Felt lost and hurt
Fallen flat on our faces
Lived where confusion reigns

Sometimes we live in a fantasy world
Where everything is supposed
To go well all the time
Where success comes easily
Where mistakes are frowned upon
Where heartache is to be avoided
Where pain is to be run from

But the real world
Is messy and seems unfair
In the real world
Darkness and light exist together
In the real world
Mistakes can lead to growth
In the real world
Normal is what we see
And reality resides within

Lida Berghuis
April 5th, 2012

Winter blues

Mar24

Winter blues
I know you well
You’’ve visited me
Year after year!
Your mystery I had to unravel
Your nature uncover
Your puzzle solve
It was not easy
It was an uphill climb!

You arrived without notice
Stayed far too long
Didn’’t want to leave
When the time had come

In hindsight I can see though
You’’ve made me who I am
The lessons you taught me
Were unexpected, unplanned

I tried to run away
Fight you, ignore you
But in the end
I needed to know myself better
To know you

Running and hiding
Anger and resentment
Gave no result
Acceptance, knowledge
Willingness to grow
Willingness to try
What brought healing about!

Lida Berghuis
March 24th, 2012

It’s not my thing!

Feb28

Darling, what do you think
Of this poem I wrote?

Silence….

I try to read his body language
Carefully…

Is that a blank stare?
Is he overwhelmed?
Is he processing what he’s just heard?

So, what do you think?
I ask again…

Silence still!

It can’’t be that hard
To say I didn’’t like it
Or I did
I wait for the verdict patiently
Hoping that over the years
Something has changed
That he has developed an appreciation
Of poetry

The answer comes suddenly
It takes me by surprise
But,  I don’’t know why

“Darling, you know poetry is not my thing”…”

How can poetry not be his thing?
Poetry touches the heart and soul

How can poetry not be his thing?
I don’’t get it
I really don’’t!

Lida Berghuis
February 28th, 2012

Courageous women

Feb13

IMG_3633 (1)

Courageous women
Breaking the mold
Taking the path less trodden
Going somewhere unknown

Courageous women
Breaking with tradition
When tradition did not answer
The questions posed by their hearts

Courageous women
Leaping out of the shadow of men
And Lighting the world
With brilliant light

Courageous women
Who didn’t believe in can’’t
Were not deterred by obstacles
Who dared to dream
Who dared to try

Courageous women
Spiritual giants
Powerful yet calm
Determined yet gentle
Persuasive yet mild

Courage can be quiet
Courage can be calm
Courage does not need to
Shout out

Courage needs no audience
Or praise or approval
Does not search for glory
Or fame or hurrah

Courageous women in the past
Courageous women of our time
Your audacity, our light, our guide!

Lida Berghuis
February 10th, 2012

When

Feb8

When colour seems to have
Drained from your world
When all you want to do
Is stay home
When you’ve tried to shake it off
For the thousandth times
When you think you can’t go on

Don’t despair
Hang in there
There’s a way out of
This tunnel of gloom
Don’t give up
Keep searching
You’ll be able to smile again
Soon

Your patience will be tested
Many times
Your prayers seem to fall on deaf ears
Sometimes
Progress can be slow
But be assured
In this battle
You’re not alone

Many people have been
Where you are
Many people are willing to
Help you out

When heavy chains seem to
Weigh you down
When you live life in slow motion
Most times
When everything you need to do
Seems like a giant task
When creativity seems like a
Thing of the past

Don’t despair
Don’t give up hope
The first step is to reach out
And let someone know!

Lida Berghuis
January 31st, 2012

Code of silence

Jan30

Why this code of silence?
What do we fear?

Why such stigma?
Where do we go from here?

Why does a word like depression
Scare us so?

Why do we feel ashamed
Powerless or both?

Why do we feel as if
It’s all our fault?

Why so many misconceptions
Enough is enough!

Depression has a cause
Like other diseases do

It also can be treated
If attended to

It’s not this strange, enigmatic affair
One is not doomed to years of despair

It can be debilitating no doubt
The danger comes from doing nothing at all

The first step is to break the code of silence
To change our understanding of what we call mental illness

Perhaps we need some new terminology
Something less outdated and scary

We need to talk
We need to understand

Knowledge is power
Let’s stop burying our heads in the sand!

Lida Berghuis
January 22nd, 2012

Smile

Jan26

IMG_1005

Smile and world will smile at you
Open your arms and the world will receive you

Radiate good thoughts
Good will come your way
Be generous
You will be rewarded

The positive vibes you send out
Attract goodness no doubt
The warmth you impart
Will be your own reward

We don’’t give to receive
We give because it brings joy
Give generously
And happiness will be yours

There is always weakness
And darkness if you look for it
Why waste that energy
No need for it

The most flawed person
Has something that can be praised
Focus on that
Leave the rest!

January 5th, 2012
Lida Berghuis

Stillness

Jan25

Stillness
Like the serene surface of a lake at Dawn

Stillness
Where words come from

Stillness
Where I seek refuge each time

Stillness
Where movement originates

Stillness
Where excitement comes to rest

Stillness
Where great ideas emerge

In my busy days
I seek the stillness of solitude

Daily life with all its demands and
Needs come to a stop

I go deep within myself
I connect to what’s out there.

Stillness feeds the soul
Stillness attracts thoughts
Stillness is essential

Lida Berghuis
January 20th, 2011