Drops of rain

Sep18

Shall I turn the page?
Leave sadness behind?
Keep a smile on my face for a while?

Sounds lovely
Should be doable
But I can’t forget what has been
A trying time

Drops of rain
Travel down the window
Each in a hurry to get down
Then another arrives in its place
Making a new path
As it drops

Some drops travel slower
Some faster
But they all eventually
Get down
Washing the dust off
The window
As they fall

The joy of writing has returned
Words cheer me up again
Writing a release, a pleasure again
I’m making my way back to me again
The ‘me’ that was temporarily misplaced
Hidden or lost

How does one carry on
When one knows
The road to recovery is long?

By the grace of God
Help of family and friends
Sheer will
Absence of choice!

It’s time to look behind
Sigh out loud
And look ahead

Challenges come
They try us
They do their job
And eventually
If we persevere
They move on

It’s time to inhale deeply
Exhale softly
Carry on
Focus on others
Move along

Lessons learned?
Perhaps
Endurance tested?
For sure!

Drops of rain fall one by one
Oblivious of what’s around them
Focusing on their mission
To get down!

September 19th, 2012

I have been there

Jun17

I have been there
Where you are
It’s probably hard to believe
But I have

I bet you thought
You were the only one
Who had discovered
This desolate place
This arid ground

I have been there
Not long ago
And when I was there
I was like you
I thought I was
The only one
To have found my way
To this strange
And frightful place

I have been there
Where you are
I understand the loneliness
The hopelessness
The powerlessness
The pain
And the sorrow
Of this almost inhabitable ground

Yet I persisted
Even when I thought
I couldn’t any more
Somehow I convinced myself
To carry on
Because the alternative
Was even worse

And I’m here
To sing my song
To let you know
That you will survive
You will finally find your way out
Of this land
This quagmire
This deep valley of misery
This arena of trials

I have been there
Where you are
And I hope
I can convince you
To persevere
To tolerate the pain
Of being lost

Because one day
The light will shine
And whether it’s through
The help of a friend
Or a loved one
Whether by new insight
Whether by the healing medicine
Offered you
Or steps you take
To find your way out
You will leave this dejected place
And you will bring with you
Some wisdom
An unexpected gift of insight

And you will learn
Not to hate that place
Because struggling and pain
Are part of life
And our teachers
Should we choose
To ponder the mysteries of life

The screen rules

May9

We stare into our screens at the coffee shops
Text while we walk
Check our e-mail at the stop light
Talk to seemingly no one as we walk
Our phones don’t leave our sides
God forbid if we lose them
Or leave them behind

We are reachable all the time
E-mails don’t know day or night

E-mail overload
Facebook addiction
Twitteritis
These are the diseases
of this century!

People walk on the street
With headphones on
No eye contact
No need for one
If they decide to be very kind
They leave one earphone in
One earphone out

Texting in the classroom is normal
But the ringtone is turned off

These days one screen is not enough
The TV is on, the laptop open
And the phone nearby
Is it possible to focus on three things?
Add doing homework
That’s what I see in my house!

Is it possible to find someone
Without a screen nearby?
Probably not!
But what’s a good age to start?

My 12 year old wants a phone
What he really wants is a toy!
He’s waiting till I update my IPad
He’s next in line
And he knows that

Computer screens have
Grown in size
But small ones can also be found

The next IPhone is around the corner
What else can they really add on?
Our screens become outdated so fast
Soon it’s onto the next new fad!

But for all the complaining I just did
I’m thankful for my IPhone and IPad
They keep me in touch with my friends
And So does Skype
Can’t believe it’s still free of charge!

Lida Berghuis
April 30th, 2012

On suffering

Apr28

Do we need to suffer to grow?
I think so
Do we want to suffer?
I think not!

Does suffering lead to growth?
It can
What does that depend on?
On us!

Where does that growth come from?
From change
Change in the way we see things
Change in the way we act

How does that change come to be?
From reflection
And a desire to grow

Can suffering break us?
I think it can
Does it have to?
I think not

Is life about suffering?
I don’t think so
Is it about growth?
I’d say yes

Does suffering lead to humility?
I think so
Is there a way around it?
I think not

Can suffering be our friend?
I think so
It depends on us
And how we respond

Am I at peace with the idea of suffering?
I think so
Will I look for it?
I think not!

Lida Berghuis
April 28th, 2012

The D-bomb

Apr23

People drop the F-bomb
much more often than
the D-bomb!
Don’t you think?

Why is depression
This ten letter word
Treated with more disdain
More suspicion
More stigma
Than four letter words?

Could it be that because like the
C-word, cancer
We associate it with
A dark and dreary condition
That often doesn’t have a cure?
And even that is changing
Now-a-days…

Is it because
Depression conjures up
Images of crying for days on end?
Being in bed for
Hours at a time?
Images of hopelessness
Helplessness
And all the things we’d rather
Not think about?

It is because se associate
Depression with a weak will
A defect of some kind?

Is it because we call it
A mental illness
And that conjures up
Images of patients in a
Psychiatric ward
Dulled by medication
Isolated and unwanted
By the rest of us?

I think it’s all of the above
And some more

Perhaps it’s because once someone
Conquers depression and feels good
They rarely talk about it
And share their victory

Perhaps it’s because
We don’t hear the stories
Of beating the blues and the
Transformational changes that
Can occur while dealing
With the challenges it brings

Perhaps it’s because
It takes courage
To share
To be one of the first few
Who brake the silence
Drop the veil
And let others know
That depression
Is as treatable as any other thing
It’s not one’s fault
Not a sign of weakness
Not a terminal illness
Nor a tunnel of darkness
Without end

The conversation
Is starting though
And I’m happy to add my voice
To those who have seen the darkness
And made their way to the light

Lida Berghuis
April 15th, 2012

My part!

Apr14

 

I used to pray and hope for
A letter from God!
With clear instructions
In legible handwriting please!

I used to pray and
And wait for a miracle
Ones that would erase
My problems with ease!

What I failed to realize
Was that prayer was a means
Of empowering me to
Find ways to grow and change
Find new ways of doing things

I assumed that change would happen
On its own
By the grace of God
My role was somehow left out!

I had to learn that
Problem solving starts with me
Examining the way I thought
Acted and lived

I had to learn
That self knowledge
Would lead to understanding
Understanding to doing things differently
And that would lead to healing

Why I left out this crucial part
I don’’t know
Perhaps because it required effort
Perhaps because I didn’’t realize
That in my own hands lay my destiny

I had to learn that
Inner change happens slowly
There are no quick fixes
Nor short cuts
But slowly and over time
The process gathers momentum
And there is no stopping it

I had to learn that
Once I took the first hard step
And saw some success
Taking the second step
Would be easier
And soon I’’d be walking
With much less effort
On the path that leads to
Understanding and healing

I had to learn I couldn’’t
Do all this on my own
That I needed guides
I needed friends
I needed those who would
Support me on the way
To a new understanding

Now I still pray
But I know I also have my role to play

Lida Berghuis
April 14th, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Normal or real?

Apr5

image

“Normal is someone we don’’t know well”
Goes the quote

We all have a public persona
And a private one
The public one gravitates to the norm
The private one is free and flawed
“Normal” is what we show on the outside
Flawed and real what we keep inside

Deep inside
We are all imperfect and insecure
We all have fears and anxiety
We all make mistakes
We all feel shame

Our public persona
Smiles and posts happy status updates
Our public persona
Smiles in all the pictures

Deep inside
We all have cried
Felt lost and hurt
Fallen flat on our faces
Lived where confusion reigns

Sometimes we live in a fantasy world
Where everything is supposed
To go well all the time
Where success comes easily
Where mistakes are frowned upon
Where heartache is to be avoided
Where pain is to be run from

But the real world
Is messy and seems unfair
In the real world
Darkness and light exist together
In the real world
Mistakes can lead to growth
In the real world
Normal is what we see
And reality resides within

Lida Berghuis
April 5th, 2012

Winter blues

Mar24

Winter blues
I know you well
You’’ve visited me
Year after year!
Your mystery I had to unravel
Your nature uncover
Your puzzle solve
It was not easy
It was an uphill climb!

You arrived without notice
Stayed far too long
Didn’’t want to leave
When the time had come

In hindsight I can see though
You’’ve made me who I am
The lessons you taught me
Were unexpected, unplanned

I tried to run away
Fight you, ignore you
But in the end
I needed to know myself better
To know you

Running and hiding
Anger and resentment
Gave no result
Acceptance, knowledge
Willingness to grow
Willingness to try
What brought healing about!

Lida Berghuis
March 24th, 2012

It’s not my thing!

Feb28

Darling, what do you think
Of this poem I wrote?

Silence….

I try to read his body language
Carefully…

Is that a blank stare?
Is he overwhelmed?
Is he processing what he’s just heard?

So, what do you think?
I ask again…

Silence still!

It can’’t be that hard
To say I didn’’t like it
Or I did
I wait for the verdict patiently
Hoping that over the years
Something has changed
That he has developed an appreciation
Of poetry

The answer comes suddenly
It takes me by surprise
But,  I don’’t know why

“Darling, you know poetry is not my thing”…”

How can poetry not be his thing?
Poetry touches the heart and soul

How can poetry not be his thing?
I don’’t get it
I really don’’t!

Lida Berghuis
February 28th, 2012

Courageous women

Feb13

IMG_3633 (1)

Courageous women
Breaking the mold
Taking the path less trodden
Going somewhere unknown

Courageous women
Breaking with tradition
When tradition did not answer
The questions posed by their hearts

Courageous women
Leaping out of the shadow of men
And Lighting the world
With brilliant light

Courageous women
Who didn’t believe in can’’t
Were not deterred by obstacles
Who dared to dream
Who dared to try

Courageous women
Spiritual giants
Powerful yet calm
Determined yet gentle
Persuasive yet mild

Courage can be quiet
Courage can be calm
Courage does not need to
Shout out

Courage needs no audience
Or praise or approval
Does not search for glory
Or fame or hurrah

Courageous women in the past
Courageous women of our time
Your audacity, our light, our guide!

Lida Berghuis
February 10th, 2012