Tag Archive | understanding

Bonds that bind



Another connection 

Another bond of friendship 

The fruit of us being together

So many years ago

In the beautiful city of Shiraz

Shiraz, from where some of us scattered

Around the world

Each going on a journey of self discovery

And now we come together

Having experienced life 

With its ups and downs 

Its joys and sorrows

We come together 

With increased understanding

And renew and strengthen 

These bonds 

That were formed so many years ago


March 17th

With Farideh and Payam

Removing barriers

Rediscovering my homeland from afar
Sometimes I feel like a tourist in my own town
There are also things I’m discovering for the first time
Technology makes this possible now

I travel to my place of birth everyday
And hang out with my friends
I learn about them and their experiences
There is good and bad everywhere
And there are challenges there as there are anywhere else

What I’m experiencing with my friends
Which is special though
Is an openness that’s new to me
My friends accept me as I am and
I feel a sense of belonging

I missed this feeling in my childhood
The feeling that I could share all that was dear to me
There was always this barrier between us
A divide in understanding

Time and distance, and new experiences
Have removed this barrier
And in some ways now, in a land far off
I feel closer to my countrymen

June 26th, 2017


Taking the edge off



When I see the pain on her face
I want to take an eraser and erase it

When I see the pain on her face
I want to come up with magical words
That will wash the pain away

When I see the pain on her face
My heart aches as well

My first instinct is to try to stop her pain
But sometimes all I need to do
Is to take the edge off the pain

A hug, an understanding glance
A sympathetic response
An acknowledgement of the ‘hurt’
Is all that’s needed

No, it won’t take the pain away
But it will give her a respite
From the severity of it

It will tell her that she’s not alone
That there is someone who understands her

It will tell her that someone is aware of
The turmoil she’s in

It also sends her the message that
She’s strong enough to endure the distress
That has come her way

No, I can’t make the pain go away
But my empathy can make a huge difference
In making the situation more bearable
And in taking the edge off the pain

Lida Berghuis
October 6th, 2015

A true friend

A friend is someone I can call on day or night
And she will have time for me

A friend is someone who cheers me on when
Things get tough

A friend is someone whose hug gives me energy
To go on

A friend is essential in life
She’ll be my life boat when the waters get rough
She’ll be my shelter when rain pours down
She won’t make my problems go away
But she makes life bearable until I get back
To my place of calm

She won’t make the hurts of the past disappear
But her understanding heart will take the edge off
Those jagged parts of my life

A friend is someone who encourages me to
Fight my own battles, but is there to support me
As I struggle and fight

A true friend is as precious as the air I breathe
More valuable than riches
The sun in my sky!

Lida Berghuis
October 4th, 2015

Gifts I like…


What is the best gift of all
I wonder to myself

A listening ear?
A kind heart?
A cheerful countenance?
These are some!

What would I want from a friend?
To let me be who I am
Don’t mind my silliness and my laughing out loud!

What is the best gift I can give?
My undivided attention
My understanding
My affection and love!

Material things are OK
But the best gifts are those
That don’t need to be wrapped
Ones that are made with
Thoughtful hands and hearts

And sometimes the best gifts come in words
Words of encouragement
Words of wisdom
Words of comfort

Sometimes it’s a phone call
From a friend
Who remembers you when
You feel alone
Or the friend that always
Has time for you!

The gifts I like don’t cost a thing
They just require love and understanding
And since they don’t take up any space
These are the gifts that I’ll carry with me
For all time and everywhere!

Lida Berghuis
December 25th, 2013

A more compassionate view of ‘mistakes’!

The word mistake has negative connotations
I like to think of mistakes as choices we make
Choices that have their consequences
But can lead to better understanding

We make choices based on the knowledge we have at the time
Based on our understanding at that point in our lives
And since our understanding is always limited
And can grow all of our lives
We are bound to make choices that don’t give the desired result

We call them mistakes
But without them
We can’t expand our knowledge
And learn more about ourselves
And the world we live

And when it comes to making a choice
we sometimes hesitate
We agonize
We procrastinate
Because we are afraid to make a mistake

I have done that!
I’ve stood at the fork in the road
Stared far too long
Agonized far too much
Afraid of choosing the wrong path

But now I know
That the only thing I can do
At the fork in the road
Is pick a path based on what I know
At that point

I’ve learned that what we call
The wrong path
Is just a path
A path that will lead to
Better understanding

I’ve learned that after what we call mistakes
Life goes on
If we fall, we will get up
We are resilient!

And to expect the desired outcome
Every time we make a choice is absurd
I’ve learned that what we call mistakes
Are a necessary part of growth!

Lida berghuis
December 2nd, 2103

My part!


I used to pray and hope for
A letter from God!
With clear instructions
In legible handwriting please!

I used to pray and
And wait for a miracle
Ones that would erase
My problems with ease!

What I failed to realize
Was that prayer was a means
Of empowering me to
Find ways to grow and change
Find new ways of doing things

I assumed that change would happen
On its own
By the grace of God
My role was somehow left out!

I had to learn that
Problem solving starts with me
Examining the way I thought
Acted and lived

I had to learn
That self knowledge
Would lead to understanding
Understanding to doing things differently
And that would lead to healing

Why I left out this crucial part
I don’’t know
Perhaps because it required effort
Perhaps because I didn’’t realize
That in my own hands lay my destiny

I had to learn that
Inner change happens slowly
There are no quick fixes
Nor short cuts
But slowly and over time
The process gathers momentum
And there is no stopping it

I had to learn that
Once I took the first hard step
And saw some success
Taking the second step
Would be easier
And soon I’’d be walking
With much less effort
On the path that leads to
Understanding and healing

I had to learn I couldn’’t
Do all this on my own
That I needed guides
I needed friends
I needed those who would
Support me on the way
To a new understanding

Now I still pray
But I know I also have my role to play

Lida Berghuis
April 14th, 2012