Tag Archive | suffering

All I needed

When I was in pain
All I wanted was to be listened to
To feel that someone saw and felt my pain
That they acknowledged my suffering
Without judging or giving advice
I didn’t need to be told what the silver lining was
Or how fortunate I was

Sometimes I just wanted to be held and consoled
Sometimes all I needed to hear was:
This must be so difficult for you
This would give me the strength to carry on
All I needed to hear was that I was loved
Even though I felt unloveable

And this is what I have to remember
When someone else shares with me their pain

 

March 22nd, 2016

Hiding pain

Why do we hide our pain?
Don’t we realize everyone
Experiences hardship and suffering?
Why do we only share our success
And not the challenges we had to overcome?

Why is it difficult to share these things
Things that make us feel vulnerable
Things that reveal who we are?

It takes strength to show vulnerability!
It’s easy to smile and pretend everything
Is fine and it always has been
It takes courage to admit to hardships that
We have experienced
Talking about challenges we’ve had is hard

It’s easy to share what’s on the surface
It’s not easy to reveal what is in the deep
Recesses of our heart
That’s why many of us hide our pain
Keep those emotions deep inside

September 22nd, 2015

unpaved road

Imagine driving on a road and coming to an unpaved section
There is dust, the road is not smooth, and you slow down

There are two options at this point
Either to keep going and put up with the difficulties of the unpaved road
Or to back track a bit and find an alternate paved route

The second option requires effort
Requires searching for a new way
Even recognizing that there is an alternative

The difficulties of life are like unpaved roads
They are an invitation to look at other options
Other ways of thought
Other behaviour
In other words, growth…

But it’s up to us to accept the invitation or not
We also have the choice to continue on the gravel road
And suffer the consequences and complain
About the state of affairs and the unfairness of the situation
All the time not realizing it’s not the situation that
Has to change, it’s us!

Lida Berghuis
September 4th, 2015

I know not!

It’s time to rehash the last three months
When darkness fell upon my heart
When laughter did’t come easily anymore
When sorrow reigned and hope was gone

I see the light at the end of the tunnel now
My world is beginning to become colourful again
Shades of gray are replaced by yellow, red and green
Brightness is back, dreariness is gone!

And what was the purpose of this pain?
Why this suffering again and again?
The answers may elude me now
Perhaps I’ll know the reason why
Further down the road of life
The road where surprises hide
And answers are hard to come by

I felt like I was walking in a swamp
Every movement seemed so hard
Sometimes I wonder how I persisted
How I managed to smile from time to time

Writing, my joy in life left my side
Reading, my inspiration
Seemed laborious and hard
Joy left
Mental alertness left
I was surrounded by fog

I was not efficient
Not quick on my feet
I didn’t have any bright ideas worth sharing
But what choice did I have but to go on?
What Choice did I have…. none!

My friends were by my side
They’d throw me a line from time to time
Trying to keep me afloat a bit longer
As I struggled in the currents of life

It’s almost over
I’m almost there
And I’m thankful as can be
It’s a rebirth, another one
What is the wisdom?
I know not… I know not!

Lida Berghuis
May 22nd, 2015

Blessed!

My spontaneity
His planning ability

My fiery nature
His cool water ways

My excitement and laughter
His calm and composure

My ability to get lost
His ability to know the way

His wit and charm
My laughter and delight

His vision of the future
My admiration

His ability to grow and transform
My amazement and wonder

His genuine nature
My happiness

My strengths, his strength
Complement each other

My half, his half
Make a whole

My love, his love
Create magic!
The impossible becomes possible
The closed door opens

My suffering, his suffering
Intertwined
His patience
Like none other I have seen

Blessed to have found
His love
Blessed to serve with him!

Lida Berghuis
August 4th, 2014

Under the water of trials…

Deep under water
Pushed down by the weight of life
A heavy load that does not allow me to emerge
From the watery grave that surrounds me

Should I give in?
Should I fight?
Do I want to live, or die?

Giving up is easy
Not much effort is required
But fighting takes courage, strength and
The will to go on

Surrounded by water
Pressed down by the weight of the world
At the juncture of
Giving up or marching on…

Once again,
I choose to fight
To laugh in the face of trials
I choose to go on…
But why?

Because I’m not one to choose the easy path
Anyone can do that
I accept the challenge
I will fight!

So, I gather all my might
Say a silent prayer
And push up!

And amazingly
The weight lifts
I emerge from water
I can breathe again
I’m alive!

I’m not alive because I fear death
I’m alive because death will come in its own good time
I need not spur it on

In a world full of trials
My mission is to march on
Giving up is not an option
Suffering has its reasons
I’m here for a reason
And to fulfil that
I will stay around…

Lida Berghuis
July 31st, 2014
Inspired by Inception sound track
and a scene in The Signature of All Things