Tag Archive | trials

Answers

 

imageWhen I go through hard times

There are so many questions I ask myself

Why?

Why now?

Why again?

Didn’t I learn?

Why didn’t I see before what I see now?

Are there any good answers to these questions?

The answers are blowing in the wind

As the song says

The answers are illusive

 

My head becomes a jumble of thoughts

And it’s hard to make sense of it all

I can’t stop asking these questions though

I need clarity

 

Sometimes I need to accept the pain even though 

I don’t have good answers to my questions 

Sometimes all I can do is take it one day at a time

Or one hour at a time 

Sometimes all I can do is t lean 

On my friends and family for a while

 

I may never find the answers 

But I will surly survive this painful experience 

 

November 22nd, 2019

So many days

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So many days have I sat in this spot

For a moment of respite from the suffering that enveloped me

So many days, while here, have I wondered how much longer

till I feel alive again

So many days have I mourned the loss of happiness

So many days have I been revived by the kindness of friends

And as I sit in this spot again today

Feeling thankful

The rays of the sun on my face

I count my blessings

And rejoice that I can write again

December 11th, 2018

Just normal please

I feel like I can breathe again
I can laugh easily again
I can be silly again
I can concentrate again

What a relief!
Most times we appreciate things
Once they are gone

A clear head
A brain that thinks like it should seems like a most normal thing
Living without anxiety seems ordinary
Feeling passion and enthusiasm seems like a given to us
But for me, they are not

And like those things there are
Many other things I can take for granted after a while

But our normal selves are anything but ordinary and normal
That normalness can be lost in an instant
During illness
During times of trials
During transitions in life

Then we will long for normal
Just our ordinary, everyday selves
Nothing fancy
Merely the person we used to be
That self that seems like a distant memory
An unattainable state

And so, we keep longing for normal
Just normal

December 10th, 2017image

Fortress

Hold me tight
Protect me from all that’s around
Be my shield in the time of trials
Enhance my beauty
Strengthen me
So I can withstand the winds of time
Together we’ll be more fortified
Together we’ll represent unity
And solidarity
Till the end of time

November 24th, 2017

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Ephemeral

I try to capture the beauty of nature
Because it’s ephemeral
It will be gone soon

I have to keep a record of it
Share it with my friends
And savour the beauty until it lasts

Joy is similar
It comes with gifts and cheers us up
But I know this feeling is temporary
It’s inevitably followed by sadness or
Contemplation of the serious issues facing us

Sadness is similar
It doesn’t last
But somehow during the sad times
It’s no consolation to know that it will pass
The pain is real, the sorrow is real
And that is my reality then

I try to console myself and remind myself
This too shall pass
Yet, the shadow that the sorrow has cast
Remains, and I have to deal with it

We wouldn’t call it sadness if we were able to
Transform it into joy with our thoughts
Yet there are people who deal with difficult
Situations better
And that deserves admiration and respect

Theses are people I look up to
From them, I try to learn
The secret of remaining thankful
During difficult times

Such people have a different understanding of life
Their vision sees into the future
They don’t equate discomfort and challenges
With sorrow and pain
They find a way through the pain

Their circumstances don’t change
But their perception of the situation
Allows them to rise above it
See it in a different way
See the end in the beginning
And the beginning in the end

October 15th, 2016

Our essence

Our essence

To learn new things
To go into uncharted territory
To accept starting at the bottom to build
A tall edifice
To explore the unknown
To put the different parts of the puzzle together
One by one
To persevere when it’s not easy
To be patient and not disappointed
With the slow rate of advance
To see the cup as half full
To laugh in the face of challenges
To raise to the occasion
To have faith

These are the strengths of the human spirit
The invisible part of us
The part we sometimes need to pay more
Attention to…
Our essence
Our future
Our treasure

Lida Berghuis
August 4th, 2015

Your heart

At the heart institute for treatment
But your heart is in perfect health
As loving as it can be
As patient as it can be
As joyful as it can be

No treatment needed for this compassionate heart
If anything we need to find how
Your heart became what it has become
Needless to say the trials of life have purified it
Needless to say prayer has burnished it

You may be in the heart institute for treatment
But your heart is in much better shape than ours…

Lida Berghuis
July 4th, 2015