Tag Archive | problem solving

Confessions of an extrovert!

Oct18

I’m an extrovert
That I know for sure!
For me, being in someone’s company
And conversation go hand in hand
Sitting side by side in silence is almost
Impolite in my book!
It means I don’t want to talk to you
Which means I don’t like you or
I’m angry with you!

But an introvert is OK with silence
Ok with thinking things through when in someone’s company
Needs to day dream more than needs to talk
Has to have a really good reason to talk!

When an introvert is upset
They tend to not want to share what is bothering them
Which makes me confused since I don’t know how to help
And plus, why don’t they want to share what’s going on?
Wouldn’t that make them feel better?
I feel shut out!

I’ve come to learn that
An introvert needs lots of space
Lots of alone time
And problem solving is not a group activity for them
It can be done in solitude most of the time!

And now the hamster ball!
An introvert, I’ve come to know
Has a personal space that can’t be breached
They tend to live in a hamster ball
Be careful when you approach them
Don’t go sit next to them
Let them come sit next to you when it’s time

An introvert finds big social groups draining
They can only take so much company
Then the need to go back to a quiet, comfortable, known place
To recharge!

That’s really hard to understand for me
Because I get energy from being with people
I love small groups, big groups, groups of any kind
I come alive in the company of people
When surrounded by people
I’m in my element
I am where I belong!

I do need down time
Time for me and my thoughts
But an hour or two a day will do
It need not be very long

Understanding an introvert
Is like understanding someone from another culture
Misunderstandings can happen
Flexibility is needed
As well as an open mind and open heart!
But we are all people in the end
There is nothing a little communication
Some understanding
And genuine love cannot resolve!

Lida Berghuis
October 18th, 2014

School of Mom…

Oct18

 

IMG_1652

Mothering is one of the best schools in life
Patience, selflessness, being organized
Being flexible, being inventive, and being kind
Only a few things taught in this school of life
Endurance, problem solving, and creativity are other ones

One has to meet many challenges head on

When I thought I could not wake up again
To a crying child
When problems used to confound me
And I had tried all I could try
I learned to persevere
To problem solve
To open my heart

But eventually I felt burnt out
Because I was last on my to-do-list
And the first to be crossed out due to lack of time
Because I didn’t know the importance of caring for myself
Because I confused it with selfishness

Eventually it occured to me
That to be a good caregiver
I needed to care for myself
I needed an avenue for self expression
I needed a creative outlet

And I realized that
There will never be enough time
There are always things to be done
And that I needed to be an non-negotioable item
On my to-do-list
Not one that woud be crossed out

It’s counter-intuitive but it works
Because when I take care of myself
I can be a better mom!

Lida Berghuis
October 15th, 2013

Castaway

May24

 

beach

“The castaway’s worst mistake is to hope too much and do too little”*

Feeling depressed is similar to
being stranded on a boat in an ocean
with no land in sight

Every day is the same
The challenges are the same
The fears are the same
The limitations are the same
The questions are the same
Why am I here?
What happened?
How am I supposed to survive this?
Who is going to rescue me?
How long will this agony continue?
When will this nightmare end?

Floating on an ocean of negative thoughts
Dark clouds of hopelessness surround you
Sometimes it pours misery
Sometimes the heat of trials is unbearable
Sometimes you feel numb to all feeling
And all the while you wonder how to go on

The loneliness is intense
No one to console you
No guarantee that the rescuer
Will arrive in time
Or that you will find your way
Out of this maze
Sometime

The mistake is to rely on hope only
To choose patience over action
To count the days
Till someone comes

The mistake is to think
That the only thing that brings you joy
Is the sight of land

Salvation lies in realizing that
Some of the answers lie within you
Your actions will determine your fate
Praying is appropriate
But so is taking a stand!

Salvation is in problem solving
When no solution seems to come to mind
Salvation is in not giving up
No matter how many times
What you thought may work proves wrong
Salvation is in taking small steps each day
Steps to help you stay afloat a little longer

It’s no picnic
No walk in the park
But giving up is not an option
Persistence and action is the answer
To finding a way out!

Lida Berghuis
May 24th, 2013

*Life of Pi

My part!

Apr14

 

I used to pray and hope for
A letter from God!
With clear instructions
In legible handwriting please!

I used to pray and
And wait for a miracle
Ones that would erase
My problems with ease!

What I failed to realize
Was that prayer was a means
Of empowering me to
Find ways to grow and change
Find new ways of doing things

I assumed that change would happen
On its own
By the grace of God
My role was somehow left out!

I had to learn that
Problem solving starts with me
Examining the way I thought
Acted and lived

I had to learn
That self knowledge
Would lead to understanding
Understanding to doing things differently
And that would lead to healing

Why I left out this crucial part
I don’’t know
Perhaps because it required effort
Perhaps because I didn’’t realize
That in my own hands lay my destiny

I had to learn that
Inner change happens slowly
There are no quick fixes
Nor short cuts
But slowly and over time
The process gathers momentum
And there is no stopping it

I had to learn that
Once I took the first hard step
And saw some success
Taking the second step
Would be easier
And soon I’’d be walking
With much less effort
On the path that leads to
Understanding and healing

I had to learn I couldn’’t
Do all this on my own
That I needed guides
I needed friends
I needed those who would
Support me on the way
To a new understanding

Now I still pray
But I know I also have my role to play

Lida Berghuis
April 14th, 2012