The human condition

Jan14

I learned, but I forgot
I saw, but I forgot
I knew, but I forgot

And so I pass the years
Of my life
Lessons learned are sometimes forgotten
Gems discovered, are covered by dust
What I saw clearly, is now blurred
What I thought I understood, clear as mud!

This I was told is the human condition
We don’t learn right away
We may fall many times
Before we learn to look in front of us
We may burn our hands anyway
Even though we thought we’d never do it again!

Forgetting is human
Erring is human
Learning slowly is human too!

How can I improve my memory
Remember better
Learn faster
I thought

“Slowness remembers, hurry forgets”
“Softness remembers, hardness forgets”
“Surrender remembers, fear forgets”

“It’s beautifully difficult to remember
who we are!”

“But we help each other every time
When we fill the cup of truth, drink it
And hold each other up!”

Lida Berghuis
February 20th, 2011

Quotes from “Mark Nepo”
The book of Awakening

Duduk

Dec17

imageThe melancholy music of the duduk
Reminds me of the crying of the Persian violin
The music I heard in Iran as a child
It reminds me of the lament of the violin
As it sang its melancholy song

The cry of the violin
Would tug at my heartstrings
And overwhelmed by emotion
I did not know if I should stay or run

Now, the sound of duduk takes me there
There is a deep melancholy
It can only express
As if it’s crying for all the injustice
In the world
All the crimes committed in the name
Of nation and tribe

The music takes a happier turn
I can let go of the sadness
Glad that melancholy and joy
Reside side by side

Sadness gives way to joy
And joy to sadness in time
This is the reality of this world
From which there is no escape
No matter how hard we try

The secret is to learn to
Sit with the sadness
Accept pain as part of life
Without sadness , there is no joy
Without night, no daylight

Lida Berghuis
December 16th, 2012

How much, and of what?

Dec6

How much sugar?
How much fat?
And what kind of fat should I eat?
All fats are not created equal
The good ones we must have
The bad ones will kill us slowly

Detoxifying is the rage
Watermelon fast
Juice fast and the rest

Must eat whole-grain wheat
And brown rice
Quinoa is even better
Protein is a must!
But not the fatty protein of red meat
Or chicken or veal
Must go for nuts, eggs, legumes, or tuna
In each meal

Must drink lots of water
Even when we don’t feel like it
Hydration is essential
It helps us think more clearly!

And juice is a no-no
All that sugar is bad
It’s empty calories
And too many calories are bad

We now have the cure-all of the day
It’s quinoa one day
Flax seed the other day
Vitamin D, the third

Too much fat on the belly
Not good for your heart
Exercise a necessity
If optimum health you want

Now don’t get me wrong
I like all that advice
Who doesn’t want to look good
And live healthy and long?
But with all this attention
We give our bodies
I just hope we won’t forget
The rest of us

Our mind, our heart, and our soul
Need attention too
A soul-diet high in generosity and justice
A heart-diet with lots of love and kindness
And a mind-diet of focusing only on the good and positive
That would also help us feel good and feel fit!

Lida Berghuis

November 29th, 2013

Just Ask!

Dec4

Sometimes we are our own greatest
Obstacles to success
They say Ask
And you shall be given
But we don’’t ask!

We think we know the answer will be no
We think it hasn’’t been done before
We think we should wait till things come to us
We don’’t realize that ask we must!

Asking can do no harm
If the answer is no
Let’s hear it from the horse’’s mouth

Asking shows interest
Enthusiasm
Assertiveness
Asking changes the dynamics
Shows self confidence

Sometimes I’’ve asked
Due to naivete
Sometimes I’’ve asked
Because I felt compelled
And amazingly rarely
Was no the answer

So ask we should
Ask we must
Err on the side of the possible!
Take a chance on I can and I must!

Lida Berghuis
December 3rd, 2012

In an imperfect world…

Nov22

We can try as hard as we can
Read as many self-help books as possible
Attend workshops on relationships and communication…
But our world will still be a messy place
Conflict will not go away
Pain will not disappear
Anguish will still come our way

I’m not saying we should not try
All I’m saying is don’t expect perfection if you try
100% effort does not always result in an A+
Our world is imperfect
Even unjust
But we are resilient
We will survive

The image of a happy life being
A problem free life is for me no more
Problems are here to challenge us
Teach us, help us grow

Pain is unavoidable in life
Even those we love
We hurt sometimes
But we are resilient
We will survive

I’ll try to relish the joys in life
Live with the pain
Accept that our world
Is an imperfect place
And we are the imperfect inhabitants
Doing our best!

Lida Berghuis
November 22nd, 2012

Good byes

Nov13

Good byes are only for those who love with their eyes
Those who love with heart and soul, never say good bye*

Heart and soul can bridge the distance
A mile, a hundred miles, a thousand miles

Heart and soul communicate
Without words, see without eyes

Heart and soul keep memories alive for a long time
Heart and soul traverse the distance in the blink of an eye

In this nether world, we also love with our eyes
But these eyes for eternity will not be around
Heart and soul, however, won’t abandon us

Lida Berghuis
November 14th, 2012

*Rumi

Enthusiasm

Nov8

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm
What is that?
It’s the spirit that shines bright!

Enthusiasm
Puts a smile on one’s face
A pep in one’s step
Creates wonder!

Wonder at the beauty of the world!
Wonder at all that we can know!
Enthusiasm
Like a fire in one’s soul!

Enthusiasm
Can be felt when it’s near
It cheers the heart
It cheers the soul

Enthusiasm
Means we have goals
We have projects
Things to do

Enthusiasm
Means we feel alive
Full of energy
Ready for fun!

Little things won’t get us down
There is plenty to be happy about

Enthusiasm
Like a light in the dark
Enthusiasm
What I like to be around

The old fashioned way!

Oct31

 

248F3A56-B163-41C5-B359-3164FCDE4D19

 

I take out my notebook and my pen
It’’s so last century
But what the heck!
My notebook is not out of battery
Or dependent on a server
My pen writes the right letters
And does not mistakingly auto-correct

Yes, I can’’t directly post it
On Facebook
But perhaps we post too often
Too much, too soon!

You can decide not to mail
A letter after some contemplation
The send button is not there
As a temptation!

Oh, yeah letter writing is also passé
We used to do it, but now we e-mail instead
My son was not sure where to put the
Sender’s address
And called the stamp a sticker the other day
And the letter he wrote
Was an assignment for school
He may not write another letter
Anytime soon!

Everything is digital
Fast and real-time
Breaking news is ordinary now
We can see what’’s happening
In any part of the world
For that we only need a cell-phone

But …While I wait for my IPad
To find the server
I will write and read the old fashioned way!

Lida Berghuis
Oct 30th, 2012

I’m home

Oct28

I’m home

I’m home and I feel surrounded by love
I’m home and I can lay my burden down
I’m home and I can recount my trials
I’m home and I thank the heavens above
I’m home and there is no room for pretense
I’m home and I can be myself

I come here tired and spent
I leave here feeling refreshed and alive
I come with a heavy heart
I leave with joy and delight

I come covered by the dust of the world
I leave free from it all
In our lives, hectic and rushed
This is a place of peace and calm

Your spirit is present in each room
It envelopes my weary soul
Refreshed and consoled I leave here today
Thankful for this piece of heaven on earth

Lida Berghuis
October 26th, 2012
At the Maxwell home in Montreal

Imposter

Oct20

It’s painful to smile
And cry inside
This pain I have felt
Many times

Shutting out others from my pain
Pretending to be someone I’m not

So easy to fool others it is
I can put on a smile anytime

I’d rather be myself
But don’t know how
My smile is my trademark after all

Yet I feel fake
I feel dishonest
un-genuine
As I keep up that radiant smile

They say how are you
Expecting “I’m fine”
How can I not oblige?
What do I say?
“I feel terrible”?
“I feel anxious”?
I feel like an imposter most times

When others don’t look
My smile fades again
No reason to pretend any longer
When others don’t look
I can be me
“The tired me”
“The scared me”
“The confused me”
The me who longs to reach out
But does not know how!