Tag Archive | anxiety

Let’s talk

Jan26

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How are you?

Are you feeling OK?

I’m not expecting to hear that you are fine

That you’re managing well

It’s OK if today you don’t feel well

How often do we ask how are you 

Expecting the same answer?

What should we do if the answer is not OK?

How can I help you we may say

Would you like to grab a coffee and talk?

I won’t give you advice

I won’t tell you to be thankful for all you have

I’ll simply listen and let you empty your cup

This is not always easy for me

The need to give advice is always there

But advice is not needed in these instances

Just acknowledging the hurt will do

Just letting someone know you care

And that they are not alone in their pain

I know this because I’ve been there

I’ve been the person who was not OK

And when my friends simply listened to me

They lifted my spirit and helped me persevere

Some problems can’t be fixed right away

The road to healing may be long

And what’s most important is to know

You have friends that you can count on

January 26th, 2021

Golden skies

Jul20

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It’s a golden sunset

The sky is bathed in gold

The water is a shimmering gold

The clouds are ribbons of gold

Is this our earth?

Or another planet?

In this golden sunset there is serenity and beauty

There is a sense that all is well with the world

How can this beautiful place be riddled with anxiety and disease?

How can in this world, man not love his fellow man?

How can in this atmosphere, the environment be under assault?

In this magical place,  peace doesn’t seem so far out of reach

In this golden sunset all is well

All is right

The way it should be

 

July 20th, 2020

The other side

Dec24

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It’s easier to appreciate the light
When you have spent some time in darkness

It’s easier to prize clarity of mind
If you have struggled with anxiety

It’s easier to know the value of friends
If you go through hard times and they stand by you

Darkness, anxiety, and challenges
Have their purpose in our lives

But sometimes it’s easier to see the value
Once we are on the other side

December 20th, 2019

A new day

Oct7

 

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It’s like starting a new chapter in a book

Beginning a new day

Everything looks crisp and sharp

It’s as if I’ve woken up from a bad dream

 

It makes me thankful for the little things in life

The energy I have to do things

The joy I experience when writing 

Absence of anxiety

Socializing in a relaxed way

Making decisions more quickly

 

I sometime want to pinch myself

To see if this is reality

How can a few days make such a difference 

It’s as if the light switch has been turned on

 

I need to process what happened

In the last three months

I’m back in the land of the living

And it feels awesome

 

So many of my days were spent in fog

So much pain and suffering

But those days are over

I can turn the page

And read the rest of the story

With excitement and curiosity

 

October 7th, 2019

Solitude

Aug18

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Relaxing and enjoying my solitude

It’s been a while since I could say that 

Now, silence is not filled with anxiety

Now, I can roam freely in the atmosphere of my thoughts

Now, writing takes me to my place of calm 

 

August 17, 2018

Whole again

Nov26

When I can sit at the coffee shop by myself
And feel at peace
When creativity and the desire to write is back
When there is no trace of anxiety
When my feelings make sense again
When the fog I’ve been living in has dissipated

I can say I’m back to me
The me I know
The me I recognize
The me I’m happy to be
The me I was yearning for
The me that had escaped
And would not return despite my pleas…

Then I feel whole again

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Nov. 22nd, 2017

Why talk about it?

Nov4

Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about!
Why talk about it?
Because now, I can!
I’ve been silent in the past
Perpetuating the code of silence
But it’s easier to talk about it now
Having made peace with who I am

Why talk about it?
Because there are too many misconceptions out there
And silence perpetuates them!

Why talk about it?
To give others courage and permission to do the same!

Why talk about it?
To chip away at the stigma of depression and anxiety
These all too present chapters in our lives
That we rather skip, deny or forget!

Why talk about it?
Because anything that comes to light
Is not as scary as when it is lurking in the dark

Why talk about it?
So others know they are not alone
To let them know that there are answers out there
That there is light at the end of this tunnel of darkness!

Why talk about it?
So others know I understand their pain
Their suffering, their feeling of helplessness and hopelessness
I understand how much courage it takes
To keep going despite the constant pain!

Why talk about it?
Because it needs to be talked about
Because we need to break the code of silence
We need to speak out, so others can as well!

Lida Berghuis
November 4th, 2014

Collage

May7

Collage

Can’t pretend nothing happened
Can’t pretend it was easy
Can’t try to sweep it under the carpet
Can’t let it go without addressing it

And what was it this time?
Why again?
Why am I so fragile?

It was a marathon
A test of endurance
Putting one foot in front of the other
When pain, sorrow and anxiety
Was the order of the day

Everyone told me I would be fine
But in the meantime
I had to go through what seemed like
Unbearable times

I know I’m not the only one who suffers
I know I’m not unique
But I have to acknowledge what was
I have to come to terms with it
Understand it
Or at least be at peace with it

As I celebrate the return of light
I have to revisit the past
Arrange and rearrange the pieces
Until I’m satisfied
Until it’s ready to be a part of the collage of my life

When the dam breaks…

Mar9

It’s a dam built up of who knows what
But the dam keeps my emotions at bay
I try to ignore my anxiety
I try to ignore my pain
I try to ignore the hurt of the past
And the anxiety, hurt and pain
Has nowhere to go
It’s blocked!

But by the grace of God
The dam begins to crack
And the power of the hurt, pain and sorrow
Having increased,
They break the dam
And out flows the torrent of tears
And pent-up emotions

The rush of tears is uncontrollable
The pain arises from deep within
The emotions are so powerful
I don’t remember having sobbed like this
In anger!
In frustration!
In sorrow!

The pain is almost unbearable
The roar of the water so loud
But perhaps when all is said and done
I will let go of expectations
The sense of needing control
And the sense of being responsible
For other people’s lives

I’m back at the gates of humility of acceptance
And trust in God!

Lida Berghuis
March 3rd 2014

Genuine

Jan2

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A friend of mine once said:

You laugh like you have no care in the world!
You laugh like you have banished your problems!

Some of us smile
Some of us chuckle
But when you laugh, it’s from the depth of your heart
It’s unrestrained

I do laugh from the depth of my heart
Not because I have no cares or I’ve had none
I laugh this way because I have overcome
Overcome sadness and loneliness
Overcome pain and sorrow
Overcome anxiety and depression

I laugh out loud
Because I have cried
I laugh out loud
And this laughter is genuine
It’s not to show off
Not to stand out
Not to sadden others
Who may feel down

I hope my laughter brings others joy
I hope my laughter is contagious!

Lida Berghuis
December 31st, 2013