Tag Archive | normal

Chemo holidays

Oct29

6485FB36-8B6A-42EB-8BDD-2CF913FC1074

Chemo holidays are great

What might those be, you say?

It’s week two and three in a three week cycle of chemo

The first week after getting your IV drip of chemo drugs is a right off

Fatigue, nausea, sleepless nights

Food not tasting good, swallowing being hard

Everything out of whack basically

Brain fog

But luckily, there are weeks two and three

And I call those chemo holiday weeks

A semblance of normal returns

You feel like yourself again

You’re not in constant discomfort 

Basically, life is good

Thank God for chemo holidays

When your body can take a break

From the onslaught of the meds

That help you and hurt you at the same time

When your mind can relax 

And realize that normal does return

October 29th, 2022

Being grateful is best

Oct28

 

0AE7E18D-13CD-4EFD-B654-8473D3373AD8
At the coffee shop

Sitting in the sun

Watching normal people doing normal things

Chatting with friends

Having their croissants with coffee

Me, I’m feeling good relatively speaking

I’m at the coffee shop, aren’t I?

I wonder when I’ll be back to normal

Normal energy levels

Normal days 

It will be a while

So, I have to make the best of it for now

Who knows what kinds of issues

The people at the table next to me are dealing with

I could look very normal to them

But I know better myself

This is a process I have to go through 

One day at a time

I can’t have my eyes on the end

That’s too long from now

I’ve got to be my best self 

Whatever that is now

Do what I can

Rest when I can’t 

Accept things as they are

Be thankful for the treatment I’m getting

In a beautiful hospital

With competent specialists

It’s always best to be grateful

It leads to a better outcome 

 

October 28th, 2022

Nine days after first chemo treatment 

Uncertain times

Nov27

EE33D77D-DA75-47B5-821A-7F278E8658A5

An uncertain year lies ahead

When will we have the vaccines?

Who will get them first?

When will there be enough immunity?

When can we start visiting our friends?

When can musicians sing in front of crowds?

When will the news not be about COVID?

When will the children visit their grandparents?

When can we get together with our friends?

How long will we need to wear our masks?

How long do we need to stay two feet apart?

How long before some people can go back to work?

How long before a sense of normal?

No one has the exact answers to these questions

We have to get comfortable with the uncertainty

We have to do our best to keep our communities safe

Short term pleasure will cause long term pain

We have to act based on the guidelines in place

By cheating, we are cheating no one but ourselves

We have to look beyond what pleases us

We have to realize others’ health depends on us

We live in a ‘me’ society

It’s time to change it to a ‘we’ society

November 27th, 2020

Just normal please

Dec10

I feel like I can breathe again
I can laugh easily again
I can be silly again
I can concentrate again

What a relief!
Most times we appreciate things
Once they are gone

A clear head
A brain that thinks like it should seems like a most normal thing
Living without anxiety seems ordinary
Feeling passion and enthusiasm seems like a given to us
But for me, they are not

And like those things there are
Many other things I can take for granted after a while

But our normal selves are anything but ordinary and normal
That normalness can be lost in an instant
During illness
During times of trials
During transitions in life

Then we will long for normal
Just our ordinary, everyday selves
Nothing fancy
Merely the person we used to be
That self that seems like a distant memory
An unattainable state

And so, we keep longing for normal
Just normal

December 10th, 2017image

A little crazy

Sep22

A86C3D1B-AAFC-499F-8258-355E5C68C48A

It’s OK to be a little crazy, I think
People with crazy ideas do more interesting things

It’s OK to be a little crazy
Being normal is generally not fun!

It’s OK to be a little crazy
Then we don’t take ourselves too seriously

It’s OK to be a little crazy
It’s hard to be comfortable around people
Who feel they are perfect
Or at least want to appear so

It’s OK to be a little crazy
Unconventional, silly, outrageous
And out of the box

And anyway, I don’t have a choice
So, it’s definitely OK to be a little crazy sometimes!
September 21st, 2016

Confused

Sep29

I don’t know what’s real anymore!
All these changes in one day
Are not easy to handle

First you change the jam
From strawberry to mixed berry
Now I don’t know what taste to expect
When I make my sandwich with peanut butter and jam

Then you tell me my usual cereal bowl is not clean
And I have to use a different kind
The bowl makes a difference you know…

And finally when I go to brush my teeth at night
I find a new toothpaste
Another new taste in my mouth!

Mom, all these changes have confused me today
My familiar things aren’t there
You know I’m pretty routine oriented
I do everything in the same order each day
And leave the house at exactly the same time
No surprises, no deviations from normal!

So, please don’t change things on me like that
And if you do, please make one change a day
And warn me in advance!

September 29th, 2015

Showing the real me!

Dec18

The real me!

She was not afraid to show her face
At a time when showing her face was akin to a crime

But she was not afraid
She removed the veil and showed her face
Some were confused
Some were perturbed
Some were shocked!

But she was not afraid
She had the courage of her convictions
She knew who she was

I draw on her courage to show you the real me
To remove the mask of pretence
The mask of ‘acceptable’
The mask of ‘normal’

And I don’t think the real me
Will shock others so much
Because I’m not that unique
My experiences are my neighbours’ experiences
My friends’ experiences
Or perhaps yours

I’m not so unique
Any pain I have experienced
Has been experienced by others as well
Any challenge I’ve had
Has been the lot of others as well

She showed her face when showing her face
Was akin to a crime
All I’m doing is showing you the real me!

Lida Berghuis
December 18th, 2014

Behind the mask…

Dec15

inukshuk

In our lives
We wear various masks
To appear ‘normal’
To look ‘happy’

So many people wear the mask of ‘normal’
That we feel we will stand out if we don’t
So many of us put on a show
That the show appears to be reality

But so often behind the mask of happy
Hides an injured heart, a despondent soul
Someone looking for love

When one of us takes off the mask of perfection
Admits to having challenges, needing support
It’s easier for someone else to do the same
And if this process happens enough times
We will feel less inclined to hide
Hide our true feelings
Hide our distress
Hide what’s bothering us
Pretend we’re fine!

Lida Berghuis
December 15th, 2014

A look back

Apr8

Back in my place of clam
Sitting in the sun
Trying to remember what normal feels like
It could be something as simple as a clear head
Having that quiet place to go in my mind
It should be there
It was
But its absence is sorely felt
Normal eludes me most of the time

Lida Berghis
April 3rd, 2014

Normal!

Jan26

Normal is so predictable
It poses no challenge
It’s a puzzle that has already been solved!

Normal maybe comforting, safe
Won’t raise any eye brows
But it won’t intrigue either
It doesn’t bring excitement to the table
I doesn’t go somewhere new!

Normal does not test one’s resolve
Normal does not make us problem solve!
There is no hurdles to overcome
No mountains to climb

Normal does not celebrate the human spirit
The will to achieve the impossible
The strength to endure!

Leading normal lives not what we’re here for
And I wonder sometimes if normal only exists in our heads!
A nice neat package wrapped in pretty paper with a bow!

Lida Berghuis
January 26th, 2014