The person I’ve become

Jan16

The person I’ve become
Is more authentic, more real!
I don’t wear a mask as much
I confide in my friends

The person I’ve become
Knows her limits better
I don’t compare myself to others as much
I’ve learned to say no more often
I’ve learned to ask for what I need

The person I’ve become
Takes more responsibility
Feels more empowered to create change
To change myself
My thoughts
And therefore my actions and feelings

The person I’ve become
Sees challenges as an integral part of life
Not to run from
But to learn from

The person I’ve become
Takes care of herself
Without self care, one can’t help others
One burns out!

The person I’ve become
Sees interdependence as essential
Life is not meant to be lived in a solitary way
We need each other’s help
We need to build deep, authentic friendships and
Call on each other when we need support and help

The person I’ve become
Knows there is more to learn
There is always room for improvement
Ways to do things better
New ways of thought
Deeper understanding

The person I’ve become
Is more thankful
Seeing good in all that comes my way
The person I’ve become
Tries not to take simple things for granted!

Lida Berghuis
January 15th, 2015

Loneliness

Jan12

Isolation and loneliness
Like a cancer spreads
The effects are gradual and invisible at first
But eventually manifest themselves

Isolation and loneliness
Don’t seem so harmful at first
But over time they do damage
To our souls and hearts

Isolation and loneliness
Not how we are meant to live
Independence is over-rated sometimes

Contact and compassion what we need
What heals
A smile, a warm touch
A healing medicine

‘How are you doing, are you all right’
Shows we care, helps us connect
Sometimes this is all it takes
To rescue someone from the grip of awful thoughts
Sometimes this is all it takes
To give someone hope to go on

Isolation and loneliness, weakens and saddens
Contact and helpfulness, heals and gladdens!

Lida Berghuis
January 11th, 2015

"Forge meaning from adversity"

Jan4

Adversity is a blessing if we are able to look
With the eye of wisdom and see the gems hidden in it

Adversity is opportunity for growth
Adversity makes visible the invisible
Shows us what’s essential and
Guides us to surrender, humility, and acceptance

When faced with adversity
One can crumble and complain incessantly
Or one can decide to take an active part
In tackling the situation
Not running from it
Not hoping for miracles
Not blaming others and even God!
But resolving to see what can be learned
How best one can cope and to keep setting
Noble goals despite what may seem like
Unsurmountable limitations

Lida Berghuis
January 2nd, 2015

Life is hard, but…

Jan4

Inevitable periods of hardship…
Inevitable, because they are part of life
And they have a purpose

I think back to the hardships I’ve experienced
Hardships that are insignificant compared to
What others have experienced

I think back to those times
And wonder how they could have been avoided
How I could have felt less pain, less loneliness, less sorrow

And then suddenly I realise that
Those periods of hardship
Have been a necessary part of my growth
And development

That I need not look back at them
And feel bad for myself
Or wonder why I made the decisions I made

I need to look back with thankfulness
Because each experience has taught me something essential

I need to remember that the life’s purpose
Is not to avoid pain and sorrow
Pain and sorrow, challenges and difficulties
Are essential to our growth

In retrospect, I’m thankful for all that has come my way
The happy times, the sad times
Each and every experience has shaped me
And taught me a precious lesson

Life is hard
But this hardship has a purpose
If we are willing to reflect on our experiences
And grow from them

Lida Berghuis
December 30th, 2014

Showing the real me!

Dec18

The real me!

She was not afraid to show her face
At a time when showing her face was akin to a crime

But she was not afraid
She removed the veil and showed her face
Some were confused
Some were perturbed
Some were shocked!

But she was not afraid
She had the courage of her convictions
She knew who she was

I draw on her courage to show you the real me
To remove the mask of pretence
The mask of ‘acceptable’
The mask of ‘normal’

And I don’t think the real me
Will shock others so much
Because I’m not that unique
My experiences are my neighbours’ experiences
My friends’ experiences
Or perhaps yours

I’m not so unique
Any pain I have experienced
Has been experienced by others as well
Any challenge I’ve had
Has been the lot of others as well

She showed her face when showing her face
Was akin to a crime
All I’m doing is showing you the real me!

Lida Berghuis
December 18th, 2014

Authenticity

Dec16

“Vulnerability is the birth place of love, creativity
joy, and belonging”

One has to risk rejection to find love
One has to be open to trying something new and untested to be creative
One has to have known sorrow to know joy
One has to share one’s weaknesses to be welcomed into an authentic relationship

It’s easy to show our happy, together, confident, optimistic side
It takes courage to show our pain, sorrow, insecurities, and doubts

It’s easy to play it safe, afraid of making a mistake
It takes courage to take a leap of faith

It’s easy to decide when the outcome is clear
It’s more difficult to accept the uncertainties of life

I used to want a letter from God
telling me which way to go and what option to choose
I know now that growth comes from making the best decision with the information I have
Knowing that it may not lead me to the desired destination right away
But  that eventually I’ll find my way

Life is not a straight line
It’s a jagged line
Or perhaps it’s a meandering river
Going to the right or left sometimes
But all the way adjusting its course to reach the ocean

And the way to accept this perceived imperfection in our path
Is to realize that in any case, we are worthy of love!

Lida Berghuis
December 16th, 2014

*Brene Brown

Behind the mask…

Dec15

inukshuk

In our lives
We wear various masks
To appear ‘normal’
To look ‘happy’

So many people wear the mask of ‘normal’
That we feel we will stand out if we don’t
So many of us put on a show
That the show appears to be reality

But so often behind the mask of happy
Hides an injured heart, a despondent soul
Someone looking for love

When one of us takes off the mask of perfection
Admits to having challenges, needing support
It’s easier for someone else to do the same
And if this process happens enough times
We will feel less inclined to hide
Hide our true feelings
Hide our distress
Hide what’s bothering us
Pretend we’re fine!

Lida Berghuis
December 15th, 2014

My sanity!

Dec4

One hour a day, I treat myself
I treat myself to a cup of coffee
In a sunny coffee shop (when the sun it out)
I treat myself to
Reading what I want
Writing what I want
Contemplating life…

I treat myself because
The rest of day
I think of my family and their needs
I think of my students and their needs
I take care of my responsibilities and my to-do list

And because I treat myself one hour a day
I’m a happier person the rest of the day!

Being selfless is good I’m sure
And I am selfless some of the day
But I need my hour that’s for me
In order to function optimally!

Giving and being there for others
Is a noble thing
But so is taking care of my sanity!

Lida Berghuis
December 4th, 2014

Reflections on identity…

Dec1

I’m a Persian girl who grew up in Canada
Married a Dutchman and lives in Quebec now!
Where should I start?
I guess at the beginning…

My Persian heritage has shaped me
It has given me the gift of poetry, hospitality
And strong family ties

My Canadian upbringing
Has given me the gift of religious freedom
Our best attempts at equality of women and men
And freedom to be me
Not what others expect me to be!

My association with the Dutch
Has given me the gift of authenticity
Artistic expression, music and love!

My time in Quebec has given me
My passion for poetry, exploration of the arts
Self discovery and growth!

I’m happy to be all of the above
And I’m thankful for each!

It hasn’t always been east to navigate
Different cultures and try to figure out
Where I belong
But I’m in a good place now
Not hesitant to acknowledge my heritage
Not worried that I don’t fit in
Not confused about where home is

As they say
Home is where the heart is
And perhaps I’ve had many homes
This is the kind of world we live in
Things are not black or white
But all the colours in between

Lida Berghuis
December 1st, 2014