Tag Archive | authentic

We hide so much

Dec20

We can hide so much
Who we are
How we feel
What we think
We can hide so much

Why do we do that?
Why aren’t we more transparent?

Different reasons
Shame
Others’ judgement
Inability to express ourselves
Staying on the surface
Comparing ourselves with others
Judging ourselves
Fear of criticism
Fear of being different

We can hide so much
And every layer we peel off
We’re one step closer to freedom
Freedom to be who we truly are

We hide so much
And that can hurt us
We use veils for self preservation
But they stop us from feeling authentic
We hide so much
And it’s not necessary

December 20th, 2017

 

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Perfect?

May28

We need not be perfect!

Where does this idea that perfect is good
That it’s the desired goal
Come from?
Why are we not comfortable with our flaws?

Perhaps it’s because not many
Successful people speak of their flaws
What we see on the outside
The perfect picture
Does not reflect what is inside

The reality is that visible or not
We all have limitations
We all have failed and cried
We all have messed up!

Perfect does not exist
And perhaps it should not
We learn from our imperfections and mistakes
They can be areas we work on

Normally, we don’t show our inadequacies
It’s just not done
What would others think?
Would they judge us?

Yet, it’s our foibles and flaws
That make us human and normal
Nobody is good at everything
That person does not exist
So, let’s be authentic
And talk about our failings and challenges sometimes

I guarantee that the sky won’t fall
And that we will be loved despite our flaws

The masks we wear

May15

The more similar we are on the outside
To who we are inside
The freer we will feel

The masks we sometimes wear
Get heavy
And we may feel like we are dragging
Our feet

The problem is that we can get so used to
The masks we wear
That we can forget who we are underneath

I’m learning to throw away the mask of pretense
I feel lighter
More authentic

I won’t be afraid of showing my truth
The real me
Those who love me will stay anyway
And those who won’t…

That’s their choice
Generally there are not many of those
In my experience

Pretending takes a lot of energy
It’s tiring
It’s stressful
I understand why people wear a masks
Because I have worn them
But I also know how refreshing it feels
To feel the wind on my face
April 6th, 2016

Secrets

Nov18

When we have a secret
All is OK on the outside
But inside, something doesn’t feel right
We don’t feel as free as we should feel
We don’t feel authentic

We have our secrets because we feel
We will be judged
People may think less of us and
Their perfect ‘image’ of us will be tarnished
We will be the ‘other’, the one who does not belong

The ironic thing is that what we’re fearful of
May never come to pass
Actually, people will admire our courage
To be ourselves
And it will feel as if a weight has been lifted
From our shoulders

We keep secrets because difficult topics
Have been hidden in the past

We keep secrets because not enough people
Share the difficult parts of their lives to
Give others the courage to do the same

We keep secrets because we don’t want to
Feel vulnerable and get hurt
We keep secrets because it seams easier

But when we open our hearts to others
When we trust them with our secrets
The reaction most of the time is that of
Empathy and understanding
Because we will look more human, if less perfect
Because others have secrets too

The ocean of life is turbulent
And not one ship is immune from the
Challenges of the journey

November 18th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

The person I’ve become

Jan16

The person I’ve become
Is more authentic, more real!
I don’t wear a mask as much
I confide in my friends

The person I’ve become
Knows her limits better
I don’t compare myself to others as much
I’ve learned to say no more often
I’ve learned to ask for what I need

The person I’ve become
Takes more responsibility
Feels more empowered to create change
To change myself
My thoughts
And therefore my actions and feelings

The person I’ve become
Sees challenges as an integral part of life
Not to run from
But to learn from

The person I’ve become
Takes care of herself
Without self care, one can’t help others
One burns out!

The person I’ve become
Sees interdependence as essential
Life is not meant to be lived in a solitary way
We need each other’s help
We need to build deep, authentic friendships and
Call on each other when we need support and help

The person I’ve become
Knows there is more to learn
There is always room for improvement
Ways to do things better
New ways of thought
Deeper understanding

The person I’ve become
Is more thankful
Seeing good in all that comes my way
The person I’ve become
Tries not to take simple things for granted!

Lida Berghuis
January 15th, 2015

Heart to heart!

Oct8

Talking heart to heart!
Listening, really listening to someone else!
We don’t do it often enough
Small talk takes up a lot of our time
Real concerns and worries
Are buried deep inside

Then once in a while
We open our heart to someone else
And talk about what really matters

That requires trust
And being able to be vulnerable
Letting our guard down

It seems it’s hard to be our real selves most of the time
Instead we hide behind a beautiful smiling facade
Instead we put on the “All is OK” mask
Instead we bury what really matters deep down

But then there are those rare moments of honesty
Of being our authentic selves
When pretense disappears
When we speak from the heart
When we feel in close connection with another soul
The barriers having come down

Those moments are precious
Those are the conversations that heal us
Change us, and make us feel really alive!

Lida Berghuis
October 9th, 2013

being alone

Sep24

Being alone
Meant being alone with my thoughts
And emotions
No one to distract me!

Being alone
Meant being lonely
In a prison without walls

Being alone
Meant feeling all the feelings
I was running away from
The hurt that was unexpressed
The anger that was ignored
The resentments that were pushed under the carpet

No wonder
Being alone
Did not feel good!

All the emotions that I ran from
Needed to be dealt with
Because each time I was alone
They would appear like unwanted guests

To resolve these issues
I needed to have the courage
To change
The assurance that
Change was possible
That I was not a victim of circumstance
That I was the captain of my ship!

And what I learned is that
I needed to be the authentic me
Not the ‘expected’ me!
I needed to speak up and state my needs
I needed to create an environment
That was nurturing
I needed to think different
And therefore act differently
I needed to know
That it’s never too late to grow
Even in my forties!

Lida Berghuis
September 22nd, 2011