Tag Archive | empathy

All I needed

Mar22

When I was in pain
All I wanted was to be listened to
To feel that someone saw and felt my pain
That they acknowledged my suffering
Without judging or giving advice
I didn’t need to be told what the silver lining was
Or how fortunate I was

Sometimes I just wanted to be held and consoled
Sometimes all I needed to hear was:
This must be so difficult for you
This would give me the strength to carry on

And this is what I have to remember
When someone else shares with me their pain

 

March 22nd, 2016

Secrets

Nov18

When we have a secret
All is OK on the outside
But inside, something doesn’t feel right
We don’t feel as free as we should feel
We don’t feel authentic

We have our secrets because we feel
We will be judged
People may think less of us and
Their perfect ‘image’ of us will be tarnished
We will be the ‘other’, the one who does not belong

The ironic thing is that what we’re fearful of
May never come to pass
Actually, people will admire our courage
To be ourselves
And it will feel as if a weight has been lifted
From our shoulders

We keep secrets because difficult topics
Have been hidden in the past

We keep secrets because not enough people
Share the difficult parts of their lives to
Give others the courage to do the same

We keep secrets because we don’t want to
Feel vulnerable and get hurt
We keep secrets because it seams easier

But when we open our hearts to others
When we trust them with our secrets
The reaction most of the time is that of
Empathy and understanding
Because we will look more human, if less perfect
Because others have secrets too

The ocean of life is turbulent
And not one ship is immune from the
Challenges of the journey

November 18th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

Reflections on wealth, class and looks

Nov12

Reflections on wealth, looks and class

How far can wealth, looks and class take you?

Wealth is good but it’s here today and not the next
Plus wealth brings its own problems
There is always someone who is more wealthy than you
One can never say one has enough wealth
So, if that’s what we’re after, we’ll never get there

Wealth also puts you in a bubble of sorts
Everyone around you is the same
You’ll end up living in a world that’s not real
You can easily lose touch with the average man
And possibly your humanity

Good looks is Ok
But by now we know
It’s as impermanent as water colour
And as deceiving as fool’s gold!

Plus if what’s on the outside
Is not reflected inside
It’s no use
Good looks does not comfort you
Support you
Or encourage you
A kind heart is what does that
And that definitely does not depend on good looks

Class?
What is that?
How do we decide if someone has class?
For me the classiest things are humility
Generosity and empathy
This is what I would be looking for
The outward stuff tends to take the fun out of life
One needs to take oneself so seriously

Good looks are good only
If accompanied by a good heart
Wealth is good
If we use it the right way
If it doesn’t go to our head
If it doesn’t blind us to the rest of the world
If it’s earned honestly and with hard work

Class is good
If one’s actions are classy
Not one’s appearance only
No one wants a classy friend
With a cold heart

By themselves wealth, class and looks
Don’t amount to much
They are empty shells that will disappoint
In the long run

On the other hand
Kindness, generosity, humility and such
Add to wealth that can’t be taken away
Beauty that will never fade
And a classiness that is real!

Lida Berghuis
November 11th, 2015

Taking the edge off

Oct6

 

image

When I see the pain on her face
I want to take an eraser and erase it

When I see the pain on her face
I want to come up with magical words
That will wash the pain away

When I see the pain on her face
My heart aches as well

My first instinct is to try to stop her pain
But sometimes all I need to do
Is to take the edge off the pain

A hug, an understanding glance
A sympathetic response
An acknowledgement of the ‘hurt’
Is all that’s needed

No, it won’t take the pain away
But it will give her a respite
From the severity of it

It will tell her that she’s not alone
That there is someone who understands her

It will tell her that someone is aware of
The turmoil she’s in

It also sends her the message that
She’s strong enough to endure the distress
That has come her way

No, I can’t make the pain go away
But my empathy can make a huge difference
In making the situation more bearable
And in taking the edge off the pain

Lida Berghuis
October 6th, 2015