Alone and lonely
In this icy landscape
Deep in thought
Contemplating the coming of winter
Wondering where my friends went
Only a few weeks ago
We were flying in the blue sky
Singing our songs
Without a care
And now
My surroundings feels like an icy grave
Where did my friends go?
Without them my world is so gray
Joy has disappeared
And the howling of the wind
Like sad music
Reminds me of other desolate times
Where did my friends go?
December 11th, 2017
I feel like I can breathe again
I can laugh easily again
I can be silly again
I can concentrate again
What a relief!
Most times we appreciate things
Once they are gone
A clear head
A brain that thinks like it should seems like a most normal thing
Living without anxiety seems ordinary
Feeling passion and enthusiasm seems like a given to us
But for me, they are not
And like those things there are
Many other things I can take for granted after a while
But our normal selves are anything but ordinary and normal
That normalness can be lost in an instant
During illness
During times of trials
During transitions in life
Then we will long for normal
Just our ordinary, everyday selves
Nothing fancy
Merely the person we used to be
That self that seems like a distant memory
An unattainable state
And so, we keep longing for normal
Just normal
December 10th, 2017
Should I mourn the time lost?
Should I cry over spilt milk?
Should I wonder what if this or that?
Should I think of what could have been?
It’s all water under the bridge
It was what it was
Can’t change a thing
I can dwell on it
I can feel sorry for myself
Or, I can count my blessings
And be happy again
Sometimes I wonder
Why we are so attached to this life
This life that brings us sorrow
And tests and trials
And how does the human spirit overcome?
How does is endure and not break down?
How does joy replace sorrow?
How do we start to laugh once more?
These questions remain unanswered
Most of the time
But I’m sure eventually
We will find out
The veil will fall from our face
We will see clearly
What was vague
But until then
We must sing our song
In this golden cage
We call life
What’s the difference between our interactions online
And those in person
Can’t pretend that the online world does not exist
That’s how we stay in touch with family and friends
Acorss the country and around the world
It’s like letter writing on steroids
The online community is as real as the people who live close to us
We get emotional support from both
We exchange ideas both ways
We bring others cheer both ways
The secret as always is moderation
Anything done to excess is not good
Some limits we need to create for ourselves
No one else can do this for me and you
So the challenge is knowing
When it’s enough
When to stop
When to go offline
I tend to write more when I do
And this poem came to be
Because…
I left my phone accidentally at home
Dec. 5th, 2017
Plans are sometimes unplanned for us in our lives
Flexibility and detachment are needed at such times
But when you have your heart set on something
When you have taken time to map things out
Flexibility and detachment are not easy
Maybe that’s why we get many chances to practice
Our lives are a series of letting go
Will it get easier with time?
I’m not sure
Will we keep getting opportunities to hone our skills?
There is no doubt
November 29th, 2017
When I can sit at the coffee shop by myself
And feel at peace
When creativity and the desire to write is back
When there is no trace of anxiety
When my feelings make sense again
When the fog I’ve been living in has dissipated
I can say I’m back to me
The me I know
The me I recognize
The me I’m happy to be
The me I was yearning for
The me that had escaped
And would not return despite my pleas…
Then I feel whole again
Nov. 22nd, 2017
Yes, one feels helpless and sad
One feels out of control of one’s emotions
One feels weary and anxious
But the worst part is that passion dies…
One’s zest for life
One’s zeal to start projects and carry them through
One’s energetic nature and optimistic way of thinking
All of these things fall by the wayside
And when I see someone speaking passionately about a subject they are invested in
I wonder why they can do that and not I
I wonder where my energy and fervor went
Where my desire to create and build something new went
Where my joy of being productive went
And I mourn the loss of passion
November 22nd, 2017
The colorful leaves of fall nestle against the grey stones for shelter
For warmth
They huddle and
Keep each other warm
Chit chatting among themselves
About their transition
The changes to come
showing off their beautiful costumes while they still can
November 14th 2017
This is a letter I write to myself
As listen to the birds chirp
As I look out the window
And see the buds on the trees
This is a letter to myself
To remind me that no matter how dark
Everything my seem
No matter how little hope may be left
The dawn will come
This is a letter to myself
I write it now
So I can read it in the darkness of winter
And the gloomy hours of life
To remind myself that things will change
Laughter will return
And the sun will shine
This is a letter to myself
And I know that one day
I will read it in disbelief
Because things have changed
And I’m walking in the shadows again
But I hope that what I write now
Will give me strength to carry on
This is a letter to myself
Signed and sealed
To remind me
That these are the challenges of life
And I will overcome them eventually
Maybe slowly
Maybe painfully
But each and every time
-written a few years ago
We want what we do to be perfect from the start
We feel the need to succeed right away
But no success has come without trials
There is beauty in the imperfect climb
People who succeed
Have failed many time
They know how not to get discouraged
And stay focussed
They keep their eyes on the goal
And keep climbing
Detours and road blocks are
Part of the climb
If we keep doing something long enough
And improve as we go along
There is no way we can’t succeed
And the jagged lines of our climb
Make our path beautiful and unique
March 2016
lida's musings 