Once my daughter was distraught
Life seemed confusing
Questions were many
Joy was gone
And tears ran down her cheeks
Like rain from the clouds
I wanted to help her
I asked her what I should do
She said sit next to me mom
Don’t leave me alone
I sat with her
We talked a little
I tried to console her
But later she told me
I left too soon
She said she needed me there
I asked her what for?
Just to be with me mom
So I wouldn’t feel alone
Loneliness is the worst thing
During hard times
26 January 2019
Alone and lonely
In this icy landscape
Deep in thought
Contemplating the coming of winter
Wondering where my friends went
Only a few weeks ago
We were flying in the blue sky
Singing our songs
Without a care
And now
My surroundings feels like an icy grave
Where did my friends go?
Without them my world is so gray
Joy has disappeared
And the howling of the wind
Like sad music
Reminds me of other desolate times
Where did my friends go?
December 11th, 2017
Being alone
Meant being alone with my thoughts
And emotions
No one to distract me!
Being alone
Meant being lonely
In a prison without walls
Being alone
Meant feeling all the feelings
I was running away from
The hurt that was unexpressed
The anger that was ignored
The resentments that were pushed under the carpet
No wonder
Being alone
Did not feel good!
All the emotions that I ran from
Needed to be dealt with
Because each time I was alone
They would appear like unwanted guests
To resolve these issues
I needed to have the courage
To change
The assurance that
Change was possible
That I was not a victim of circumstance
That I was the captain of my ship!
And what I learned is that
I needed to be the authentic me
Not the expected me!
I needed to speak up and state my needs
I needed to create an environment
That was nurturing
I needed to think different
And therefore act differently
I needed to know
That its never too late to grow
Even in my forties!
Lida Berghuis
September 22nd, 2011
lida's musings 