Tag Archive | pain

The human condition!

Jun8

 

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Emotions all bottled up
Though the surface is serene
But there is sadness
That’s hiding deep within

The human condition
The human emotions
Can grip me in their clutches
Sometimes they squeeze and squeeze
And breathing becomes harder

At such moments
I feel like throwing away my heart
It’s the only way to stop the pain
The only route to respite

But sadness is part of life
Confusion is part of life
The only thing that brings us peace
Is reliance on God

That’s easier said than done
The ego does not want to let go
Of the illusion of control that it has
Cultivated over time

We tend to forget we’re not so powerful
A breeze can blow
And set us off course
And life can change dramatically
For better or worse

But perhaps worse is not so bad
If we learn the lessons we need to
And better is good
But it won’t last in this world!

The soul’s journey in this life
Full of ups and downs
A smooth road this won’t be
I’ve come to realize

There is a lot to be thankful for
This we should not forget
Our blessings we tend to ignore
If the ego has its way

Don’t have all the answers
My emotions at times rough me up

But I’ve learned that friends
Can be saviors during the trials of life

June 6th, 2014

The passage

Apr27

The sky rained tears of sorrow
The volcano spewed lava the colour of blood
The grief was unbearable
But I had not choice but to carry on

To carry on
Till life returned
To carry on
Till smiles came back
To carry on
Until laughter reigned
To carry on
Till a new journey began

And this passage
Through the corridor of pain
Was the most severe test

The support of friends
What I needed and what I got
To be able to stand the pain
And carry on

And now the horizon
Is clear and bright
The sun is here
Darkness is gone

Acting happy, feeling sad*

Apr13

A brilliant smile on my face
Only if I felt like that inside
Too hard to share my pain with others
I put on a happy front

Acting happy, feeling sad
Acting like everything is fine
What you see on the surface
Does not reflect what’s inside

Acting happy, feeling sad
Cannot share the turmoil within
Too much to explain
What would I say?
It’s easier just to smile

Acting happy, feeling sad
An actress in my own life
But the script was not written for me
I’m writing it as I go along

Acting happy, feeling sad
Feeling unauthentic and unreal
Tired of putting on a show
There is no joy in this smile!

Lida Berghuis

*This poem was written a while back when I felt down.
It can apply to other situations in which we hide
our true feelings from others.

When the dam breaks…

Mar9

It’s a dam built up of who knows what
But the dam keeps my emotions at bay
I try to ignore my anxiety
I try to ignore my pain
I try to ignore the hurt of the past
And the anxiety, hurt and pain
Has nowhere to go
It’s blocked!

But by the grace of God
The dam begins to crack
And the power of the hurt, pain and sorrow
Having increased,
They break the dam
And out flows the torrent of tears
And pent-up emotions

The rush of tears is uncontrollable
The pain arises from deep within
The emotions are so powerful
I don’t remember having sobbed like this
In anger!
In frustration!
In sorrow!

The pain is almost unbearable
The roar of the water so loud
But perhaps when all is said and done
I will let go of expectations
The sense of needing control
And the sense of being responsible
For other people’s lives

I’m back at the gates of humility of acceptance
And trust in God!

Lida Berghuis
March 3rd 2014

Sacrifice!

Jan3

Sacrifice hurts!
That’s normal…
But sacrifice is not a net loss!
We may give up things that are dear to us
We do suffer as a result
But then come the rewards

We live in a culture that tries to avoid pain
Tries to avoid giving up things we hold dear
We live in a culture that puts the individual first
Others, come later!

In this culture
Sacrifice may not make sense…
Why should I give up something that’s dear to me
For someone else’s benefit?
Why should I put others before me?
Why should I sacrifice my comfort and ease?

The irony is, that sacrifice
This giving up
This turning away from the self
This focus on others
Is exactly what we need
To grow
To blossom
To bloom!

Sacrifice does involve hardship and pain
Otherwise it would not be called sacrifice
But this hardship will result in amazing things
Given some time

When we give up our will
Our way
Our desires
Our comfort
Something amazing happens in time
It does take time…
There is no fast way through the plane of sacrifice!

But on the other side
Is a fragrant garden
With streams and rivers
Thirst quenching and refreshing and sublime!

Yes, sacrifice involves pain
But these are growing pains

Letting go of the ego
And the insistent self
Can only bring us joy and happiness!

Lida Berghuis
January 3rd, 2014

Genuine

Jan2

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A friend of mine once said:

You laugh like you have no care in the world!
You laugh like you have banished your problems!

Some of us smile
Some of us chuckle
But when you laugh, it’s from the depth of your heart
It’s unrestrained

I do laugh from the depth of my heart
Not because I have no cares or I’ve had none
I laugh this way because I have overcome
Overcome sadness and loneliness
Overcome pain and sorrow
Overcome anxiety and depression

I laugh out loud
Because I have cried
I laugh out loud
And this laughter is genuine
It’s not to show off
Not to stand out
Not to sadden others
Who may feel down

I hope my laughter brings others joy
I hope my laughter is contagious!

Lida Berghuis
December 31st, 2013

Another note to self…

Dec12

If you’re tired and feel uninspired
Let it be…

If you’d like to see the sun but
It’s hiding behind the clouds
Let it be…

If you didn’t get something you wanted
Let it be…

Fighting what is, only brings one further down
Accepting what is, brings some calm

And always remember
Things will look up soon
Your energy will return
The sun will shine
Inspiration will visit soon

Contentment is the key
Doing the best with the situation we’re in
You never know what lessons
Are taught by sorrow and pain

If nothing else
It will increase your compassion
For others who are suffering as well
And remind you to help those in need
When the sun shines again

Each day be sure to count your blessings too
You can take so much for granted
And often don’t know what you have
Until it’s not there

Lida Berghuis
December 11th, 2013

Will you love me when I’m sad?

Nov26

We think we are only lovable
When we are happy and all is fine
We think that others want to be around us
Only when we laugh and have fun

But in reality
Our true friends will love us even more
When our days are dark
And our emotions are low

They know we’re in pain
They know we don’t choose to be sad
They won’t abandon us
At times like that

I’ve been there too
Felt like that
Felt like I’m only lovable
When happy and glad

Felt like my tears would turn people away
Felt like my frown would bring them down

But those who loved me
Showed me I was wrong
They stood by me…
They held my hand when my hope was gone
When my days were cloudy and dark

I came to realise that we all have ups and downs
And the downs are what can bring us closer to those we love

We may feel not lovable at those times
We may wonder what’s wrong with us
We may be impatient with ourselves…
But not so our friends

They will love us back to health
They will give us a reason to go on
That’s what true friends are for
For happy times
But more so, for sad times

Lida Berghuis
November 26th, 2013

Healed by poetry

Nov15

Poetry heals
How, you say?
The same way music uplifts you!
The same way a piece of art intrigues you!
The same way a song speaks to you!
The same way a story moves you!

Poetry
Is communion with the ‘Divine’
Poetry is sacred
That’’s what I’’ve been taught

Rumi, Hafiz, Tahirih
Nourish my soul with magical words
Words like diamonds
Priceless and pure
Words like rain
Wash my pain away

And when I hear a poem I need to hear
It shakes me to my foundation
Truth is revealed
Growth occurs
Someone has touched my soul!

Poetry
The instrument of the Divine
Complex issues
Are laid out

Poetry heals
Poetry guides
Poetry uplifts
Poetry defines

Lida Berghuis
April 26th, 2010
Inspired by ‘Saved by a poem’

On getting older…

Nov14

Perhaps getting older is about letting go
Letting go of the struggle to be right
The struggle to fix everything
The struggle to answer all the questions
One comes upon

Perhaps getting older
Is about seeing the beauty in life
and paying less attention to pain and heartache

Perhaps getting older is like mellowing…
The sharp edges of our personality having been smoothed
By the torrents of life

Perhaps getting older is gaining perspective
Wanting to give back
To give a hand to the next generation
Easing their anxiety
Answering some of their questions
Or helping them be patient enough to find the answers
On their own

Perhaps getting older
Is being a balm to others’ cuts and bruises
Being a shoulder to lean on
Being that warm voice that comforts the one
Who thinks all is lost

And if getting older is all this and more
I’m happy to be getting older too!

Lida Berghuis
November 5th, 2013