Tag Archive | confusion

Confessions of an extrovert!

I’m an extrovert
That I know for sure!
For me, being in someone’s company
And conversation go hand in hand
Sitting side by side in silence is almost
Impolite in my book!
It means I don’t want to talk to you
Which means I don’t like you or
I’m angry with you!

But an introvert is OK with silence
Ok with thinking things through when in someone’s company
Needs to day dream more than needs to talk
Has to have a really good reason to talk!

When an introvert is upset
They tend to not want to share what is bothering them
Which makes me confused since I don’t know how to help
And plus, why don’t they want to share what’s going on?
Wouldn’t that make them feel better?
I feel shut out!

I’ve come to learn that
An introvert needs lots of space
Lots of alone time
And problem solving is not a group activity for them
It can be done in solitude most of the time!

And now the hamster ball!
An introvert, I’ve come to know
Has a personal space that can’t be breached
They tend to live in a hamster ball
Be careful when you approach them
Don’t go sit next to them
Let them come sit next to you when it’s time

An introvert finds big social groups draining
They can only take so much company
Then the need to go back to a quiet, comfortable, known place
To recharge!

That’s really hard to understand for me
Because I get energy from being with people
I love small groups, big groups, groups of any kind
I come alive in the company of people
When surrounded by people
I’m in my element
I am where I belong!

I do need down time
Time for me and my thoughts
But an hour or two a day will do
It need not be very long

Understanding an introvert
Is like understanding someone from another culture
Misunderstandings can happen
Flexibility is needed
As well as an open mind and open heart!
But we are all people in the end
There is nothing a little communication
Some understanding
And genuine love cannot resolve!

Lida Berghuis
October 18th, 2014

If you wonder why!

You wonder why I laugh out loud
Why when I laugh, it’s from the depth of my heart
You wonder if I’m ever sad
You wonder of I ever feel down

I want you to know that I’ve also cried
Sometimes days on end and month after month
Sometimes I’ve cried so much
There were no more tears to cry

I want you to know that I’ve been down
Not once, not twice, but many times

I want you to know I’ve been on the edge of the abyss
Where I stood and wondered why I should not jump
I want you to know that I’ve known sadness, frustration, confusion and more

I laugh now because I know life can be tough
Challenges can assail us from every side
Surprises, pleasant and unpleasant are part of life

I laugh now because I have cried
And persevered long enough
To see the clouds part and the sun shine!

Lida Berghuis
September 6th, 2013

Love’s confusing joy*

Confusing, because
It is unexpected
Often times unreasonable
And impractical

Joyous, because
It makes you smile
It cheers your heart
It gives meaning to life

Confusing, because
It often does not make sense
It’s complicated
It involves trials

Joyous, because
It brightens your day
Makes you feel wanted
Gives you wings to fly

Confusing joy
Is what love brings
And what welcome confusion
It is!

Lida Berghuis
July 8th, 2013

*quote from Rumi


When it pours
Dance in the rain!
You can complain
But dance instead!

When life gets busy
Take one step at a time
You can get overwhelmed
But count your steps instead!

When confusion reigns
Just relax!
You don’t need to know
All the answers right now!

One step at a time
Dance the dance of life
Sometimes slowly
Sometimes quickly
Sometimes with grace
Sometimes awkwardly

Dance in joy
Dance in sorrow
Dance your worries away
The secret is to hear
The music when others may not!

Lida berghuis
June 28th, 2013

To my children…

Try to enjoy life
What seems of huge consequence
Will wash away like a sandcastle in time

Look at the positive
The negative will always be there
Looking at the sunny side
Will bring light and warmth into your life

Don’t be too hard on yourself
There are many things you do well
We always need to improve
But with ourselves we must be patient

See what you have
Rather than what you don’t
Count your blessings
They are easy to ignore!

You may think you know
How things are or should be
But understanding life is not easy!

Things are not black and white
We realize we are mistaken many times!

What we thought we understood
Will suddenly seem all wrong
Confusion will replace clarity
A thunderstorm, a period of calm

Strength will leave us many times
But when we feel weak
We are learning to be strong

We will gradually realize the
Value of trials
Anger and confusion will be replaced by
Understanding and calm

The world has a way of teaching us
That we are very small
And to survive and thrive
We need sunshine
The sunshine of Faith and patience
And the heat of trials

Lida Berghuis
April 5th, 2013