Tag Archive | Poetry

Collage

May7

Collage

Can’t pretend nothing happened
Can’t pretend it was easy
Can’t try to sweep it under the carpet
Can’t let it go without addressing it

And what was it this time?
Why again?
Why am I so fragile?

It was a marathon
A test of endurance
Putting one foot in front of the other
When pain, sorrow and anxiety
Was the order of the day

Everyone told me I would be fine
But in the meantime
I had to go through what seemed like
Unbearable times

I know I’m not the only one who suffers
I know I’m not unique
But I have to acknowledge what was
I have to come to terms with it
Understand it
Or at least be at peace with it

As I celebrate the return of light
I have to revisit the past
Arrange and rearrange the pieces
Until I’m satisfied
Until it’s ready to be a part of the collage of my life

‘Oriental’

May4

It touches me somewhere deep within
It reminds me of the sorrows I’ve experienced

It lets me know it’s OK to suffer, we all do
It comforts me
It wraps its arms around me and tells me things will be fine
It reveals the beauty of the human spirit
It reminds me of how fragile we are

*This poem was response to a beautiful piece of music
called ‘oriental’ by Entique Granados

The passage

Apr27

The sky rained tears of sorrow
The volcano spewed lava the colour of blood
The grief was unbearable
But I had not choice but to carry on

To carry on
Till life returned
To carry on
Till smiles came back
To carry on
Until laughter reigned
To carry on
Till a new journey began

And this passage
Through the corridor of pain
Was the most severe test

The support of friends
What I needed and what I got
To be able to stand the pain
And carry on

And now the horizon
Is clear and bright
The sun is here
Darkness is gone

Acting happy, feeling sad*

Apr13

A brilliant smile on my face
Only if I felt like that inside
Too hard to share my pain with others
I put on a happy front

Acting happy, feeling sad
Acting like everything is fine
What you see on the surface
Does not reflect what’s inside

Acting happy, feeling sad
Cannot share the turmoil within
Too much to explain
What would I say?
It’s easier just to smile

Acting happy, feeling sad
An actress in my own life
But the script was not written for me
I’m writing it as I go along

Acting happy, feeling sad
Feeling unauthentic and unreal
Tired of putting on a show
There is no joy in this smile!

Lida Berghuis

*This poem was written a while back when I felt down.
It can apply to other situations in which we hide
our true feelings from others.

A look back

Apr8

Back in my place of clam
Sitting in the sun
Trying to remember what normal feels like
It could be something as simple as a clear head
Having that quiet place to go in my mind
It should be there
It was
But its absence is sorely felt
Normal eludes me most of the time

Lida Berghis
April 3rd, 2014

Perking up!

Apr8

Perking up!

Perking up
Very slowly
Sunshine is returning to my life
The Winter was long and towards the end
Blue, the color of my mood
And gone was my smile

Energy left me
Laughter disappeared
I was not in a happy place

Sometimes hope returned
But the cold and dark days persisted
And my mood did not change

The glimmerings of spring are here now
Snow is melting
It’s warmer outside
My mood is finally changing color
It’s on its way to rosy and bright

April 8th 2014
Lida Berghuis

When the dam breaks…

Mar9

It’s a dam built up of who knows what
But the dam keeps my emotions at bay
I try to ignore my anxiety
I try to ignore my pain
I try to ignore the hurt of the past
And the anxiety, hurt and pain
Has nowhere to go
It’s blocked!

But by the grace of God
The dam begins to crack
And the power of the hurt, pain and sorrow
Having increased,
They break the dam
And out flows the torrent of tears
And pent-up emotions

The rush of tears is uncontrollable
The pain arises from deep within
The emotions are so powerful
I don’t remember having sobbed like this
In anger!
In frustration!
In sorrow!

The pain is almost unbearable
The roar of the water so loud
But perhaps when all is said and done
I will let go of expectations
The sense of needing control
And the sense of being responsible
For other people’s lives

I’m back at the gates of humility of acceptance
And trust in God!

Lida Berghuis
March 3rd 2014

Normal!

Jan26

Normal is so predictable
It poses no challenge
It’s a puzzle that has already been solved!

Normal maybe comforting, safe
Won’t raise any eye brows
But it won’t intrigue either
It doesn’t bring excitement to the table
I doesn’t go somewhere new!

Normal does not test one’s resolve
Normal does not make us problem solve!
There is no hurdles to overcome
No mountains to climb

Normal does not celebrate the human spirit
The will to achieve the impossible
The strength to endure!

Leading normal lives not what we’re here for
And I wonder sometimes if normal only exists in our heads!
A nice neat package wrapped in pretty paper with a bow!

Lida Berghuis
January 26th, 2014