Imposter

It’s painful to smile
And cry inside
This pain I have felt
Many times

Shutting out others from my pain
Pretending to be someone I’m not

So easy to fool others it is
I can put on a smile anytime

I’d rather be myself
But don’t know how
My smile is my trademark after all

Yet I feel fake
I feel dishonest
un-genuine
As I keep up that radiant smile

They say how are you
Expecting “I’m fine”
How can I not oblige?
What do I say?
“I feel terrible”?
“I feel anxious”?
I feel like an imposter most times

When others don’t look
My smile fades again
No reason to pretend any longer
When others don’t look
I can be me
“The tired me”
“The scared me”
“The confused me”
The me who longs to reach out
But does not know how!

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