Tag Archive | Cancer

Chemo holidays

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Chemo holidays are great

What might those be, you say?

It’s week two and three in a three week cycle of chemo

The first week after getting your IV drip of chemo drugs is a right off

Fatigue, nausea, sleepless nights

Food not tasting good, swallowing being hard

Everything out of whack basically

Brain fog

But luckily, there are weeks two and three

And I call those chemo holiday weeks

A semblance of normal returns

You feel like yourself again

You’re not in constant discomfort 

Basically, life is good

Thank God for chemo holidays

When your body can take a break

From the onslaught of the meds

That help you and hurt you at the same time

When your mind can relax 

And realize that normal does return

October 29th, 2022

Being grateful is best

 

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At the coffee shop

Sitting in the sun

Watching normal people doing normal things

Chatting with friends

Having their croissants with coffee

Me, I’m feeling good relatively speaking

I’m at the coffee shop, aren’t I?

I wonder when I’ll be back to normal

Normal energy levels

Normal days 

It will be a while

So, I have to make the best of it for now

Who knows what kinds of issues

The people at the table next to me are dealing with

I could look very normal to them

But I know better myself

This is a process I have to go through 

One day at a time

I can’t have my eyes on the end

That’s too long from now

I’ve got to be my best self 

Whatever that is now

Do what I can

Rest when I can’t 

Accept things as they are

Be thankful for the treatment I’m getting

In a beautiful hospital

With competent specialists

It’s always best to be grateful

It leads to a better outcome 

 

October 28th, 2022

Nine days after first chemo treatment 

Depression is a cave

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Depression is vast cave

The things one need for navigation are absent

There is no light

The path is not clear

You can fall at any moment over the obstacles on the path

You doesn’t know how long it will take

To get to the opening of the cave

There is so much uncertainty and you feel powerless

You take a few steps the best way you can

Not sure if you are going in the right direction

And the darkness is perpetual

No respite

Physical illnesses

Are like hiking through a dense forest 

The hike is challenging and requires stamina and will power

But at least you can tell where to put the next step

At least you can sing at the top of your lungs to pass the time

There may be a clearing here or there 

And you can be cheered by the rays of the sun

There are things that are unknown

But you have a map to navigate the path

You know how long the hike could be

There is discomfort

There is fatigue 

But one has the will power to push through

Depression is a cave

September 20th, 2022

Surprises

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It can always be worse

That’s why I try to be thankful under all circumstance

Of course I could have been more vigilant 

But that kind of thinking is not helpful

What has been done is done 

Now I try to look forward 

With a positive attitude

And gratitude for the treatment that is available

I will walk this path 

Stage by stage

And arrive at the destination

I will learn the lessons I have to learn

I will be considerate of those around me

I will be appreciative of the support I get

And this path will be another one in my life

That I need to traverse

Through challenges we polish the gems we are

Through challenges we mature in this life

Life is not always easy

And it’s not meant to be

When surprises come our way

We can still control how we respond to them

How we navigate them

And how we grow in the process

September 14, 2022

The kitchen sink

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How do I feel now that I know my treatment will be longer than expected?
Chemo, another surgery, radiation therapy and reconstruction lie ahead
It’s a long haul
I’ve ticked out all the boxes among the possible treatments
They will throw everything at it
Everything but the kitchen sink
Looking ahead, it’s a little overwhelming
But it will be one treatment at a time
With time to recuperate
I’ll be the model patient
Optimistic and positive
I have the support of my friends and family
Many prayers are being said for me
Nevertheless it takes time to process the news
It’s not what I was expecting
But I know already that life is full of surprises
And each of them can be a teacher
But challenges are challenges
And need to be navigated with care

September 12th, 2022

The new normal

 

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Things are going back to normal

The new normal

I have four scars of various sizes

I still get tired easily

But I can shower like I used to

I can do the things I want to do

Surgery is definitely a shock to the system

It’s not like another day at the doctor’s office

It takes time to recuperate

And my body will not look the same

But that is a minor detail

Because what makes me me is not my body

What makes me me doesn’t bear the new scars

I feel good

I feel optimistic

And I’m grateful for all the love and attention

I get from my friends and family

I welcome the new normal

I’m thrilled about the advances in medicine

I’m lucky to live where I do

And have the friends that I have

August 28th, 2022

 

Cancer surviver

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Cancer survivor is a heavy title to bear 

Cancer can be dangerous 

Surviving it is good however

But I think there is still a stigma that goes along with cancer

If not, we would talk about it more than we do

It’s kept hush hush most of the time

You hear years later that someone had cancer

And you never found out

Of course, it’s not something to advertise

But talking about it reduces the stigma

And increases awareness for others as well 

So, I’m a cancer survivor 

Healed and happy to live life as before

But perhaps it won’t be exactly as before

The scars will fade but won’t go away

And the checkups will continue regularly

But that’s a good thing

Like anything else in life 

Our experiences can be bearers of gifts

Depending on how we view them

And I’m grateful to be on the path of healing

With the support of my friends and family

August 19th, 2021

Should I be?

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Should I be worried?

Somehow I’m not

With the support of my family and friends

I feel strong

I trust my surgeons to do a good job

And I know I will be spoiled with kindness afterward

Challenges are blessings sometimes

I now know better how many people care for me

There are many people I can lean on

Thankful for every one’s love

I know all will be well

All will be fine

August 7th 2022

A few days before breast surgery

Cashmere blanket

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It’s like a Cashmere blanket

In purple and orange hues

Soft and luxurious

Silky to the touch

I put it around myself

And feel cocooned in love 

I feel cared for

This is the love from my friends

Who are here to support me through challenging times

The caring words of my friends

Their soothing  and thoughtful messages

Are like fragrant rose petals falling from above

Perfuming the air

They are like a spring breeze on my fevered brow

Like a river of life giving water

Like a fire that warms me up in the dead of night

My friends

My treasures in this world

My friends

We’ll together reach the shore

June 2022

After my diagnosis with early stage breast cancer