My Shield

Jun2

Fragile,and art is my shield
It saves me in the battles of life
I still get bloodied and bruised
But have the strength to carry on

When the world and its mundane things
Its troubles and toils
Try to bring me down
I seek refuge in art

When the physical world becomes like a cage
Art is the hand that opens the door
My spirit can then roam in the ethereal world
It can be refreshed and renewed

Poetry, music, the beauty of art
Connect my soul to the spiritual world
Where joy abounds
Where it’s peaceful!

Miss Maya!

Jun1

Miss Maya
You are gone…
The caged bird is finally free
Your spirit can soar and circle around!
Come here, circle around me!

Give me your courage and optimism
Give me your passion to create
Let me be helpful to others
Let go of ego, let go of fear

Like you, I have cried many times
Like you, I have laughed a lot
I have walked in shadow, walked in the sun
I’ve been drenched in rain many times

My friends and loved ones
Have been my solace
The beauty of art has saved me!
The spirit world where my mind likes to roam
Has been a source of consolation to me!

Miss Maya
From wherever you are
Come around once in a while
Bring me inspiration, and good cheer
Miss Maya
You are still phenomenal!

My shadow!

May22

I have a shadow and her name is Shoosh
Shoosh goes wherever I go
She sits next to me on the chair when I read
She naps on my bed when I nap
I go up the stairs and Shoosh follows
I go back down and so does Shoosh

I’m still not used to being followed everywhere
I’m sure the kids would rather be in my place
But when I’m home Shoosh is by my side
When I leave they get her to themselves

Luckily Shoosh is a chill dog
She likes to relax, sleep or just lie down
Who knows what goes on in that head of hers
Who knows what she’s thinking when she stares

Soft places are her favorite
A blanket, a pile of clothes, a duvet!

And true to form, she’s here next to me
I’m sitting on the patio and so is she!

Collage

May7

Collage

Can’t pretend nothing happened
Can’t pretend it was easy
Can’t try to sweep it under the carpet
Can’t let it go without addressing it

And what was it this time?
Why again?
Why am I so fragile?

It was a marathon
A test of endurance
Putting one foot in front of the other
When pain, sorrow and anxiety
Was the order of the day

Everyone told me I would be fine
But in the meantime
I had to go through what seemed like
Unbearable times

I know I’m not the only one who suffers
I know I’m not unique
But I have to acknowledge what was
I have to come to terms with it
Understand it
Or at least be at peace with it

As I celebrate the return of light
I have to revisit the past
Arrange and rearrange the pieces
Until I’m satisfied
Until it’s ready to be a part of the collage of my life

‘Oriental’

May4

It touches me somewhere deep within
It reminds me of the sorrows I’ve experienced

It lets me know it’s OK to suffer, we all do
It comforts me
It wraps its arms around me and tells me things will be fine
It reveals the beauty of the human spirit
It reminds me of how fragile we are

*This poem was response to a beautiful piece of music
called ‘oriental’ by Entique Granados

The passage

Apr27

The sky rained tears of sorrow
The volcano spewed lava the colour of blood
The grief was unbearable
But I had not choice but to carry on

To carry on
Till life returned
To carry on
Till smiles came back
To carry on
Until laughter reigned
To carry on
Till a new journey began

And this passage
Through the corridor of pain
Was the most severe test

The support of friends
What I needed and what I got
To be able to stand the pain
And carry on

And now the horizon
Is clear and bright
The sun is here
Darkness is gone

Acting happy, feeling sad*

Apr13

A brilliant smile on my face
Only if I felt like that inside
Too hard to share my pain with others
I put on a happy front

Acting happy, feeling sad
Acting like everything is fine
What you see on the surface
Does not reflect what’s inside

Acting happy, feeling sad
Cannot share the turmoil within
Too much to explain
What would I say?
It’s easier just to smile

Acting happy, feeling sad
An actress in my own life
But the script was not written for me
I’m writing it as I go along

Acting happy, feeling sad
Feeling unauthentic and unreal
Tired of putting on a show
There is no joy in this smile!

Lida Berghuis

*This poem was written a while back when I felt down.
It can apply to other situations in which we hide
our true feelings from others.

A look back

Apr8

Back in my place of clam
Sitting in the sun
Trying to remember what normal feels like
It could be something as simple as a clear head
Having that quiet place to go in my mind
It should be there
It was
But its absence is sorely felt
Normal eludes me most of the time

Lida Berghis
April 3rd, 2014

Perking up!

Apr8

Perking up!

Perking up
Very slowly
Sunshine is returning to my life
The Winter was long and towards the end
Blue, the color of my mood
And gone was my smile

Energy left me
Laughter disappeared
I was not in a happy place

Sometimes hope returned
But the cold and dark days persisted
And my mood did not change

The glimmerings of spring are here now
Snow is melting
It’s warmer outside
My mood is finally changing color
It’s on its way to rosy and bright

April 8th 2014
Lida Berghuis