I’m happy to let you know that my book, Feeling Fortunate but Awful, is now available on Kindle and at a very reasonable price. Besides the subject of depression, the other topics I write about are: the value of authentic friendships, the importance of self-care, the role trials can play in our growth and development and the importance of creativity and spirituality in our lives.
Tag Archive | growth
The spiritual climb
Our body is an external shell
Our spirit what animates it
Our body matures and eventually declines
But our spirit in on a never ending journey
The delight we take in beauty and art
The creativity that flows from us
The compassion we feel for others
Our patience and perseverance
These qualities of our spirit never age
If anything they flourish in time
Experience polishes them
And makes them shine
Age is an expression of the days we’ve lived
But as far as our inner attributes are concerned
Age does not lead to decline
On the contrary
We can continue to climb
August 29th, 2016
Bitter medicine
Sometimes we see pain as an anomaly
As something that gets in the way of our ‘happiness’
Or we see periods of pain as lost time
As a detour on the way we were headed
We don’t want to be in pain
Or see others in pain
I think that’s normal of course
But pain seems to be unavoidable in this life
And even necessary for our growth
Pain, like a violent force
Shatters the ego
Our image of ourselves
As in control and self sufficient
Breaks down
Sometimes we glue the broken pieces together
Only for it to break one more time.
Pain is a teacher as well
It helps us learn to reach out to friends
To trust in them
Pain shows us we need each other in our lives
Pain helps us better understand the suffering of others
The depth of their despair
It causes us to try to find a way to help
Those in distress
We were created to endure pain
That’s the mechanism by which we grow
Some soul searching is required of course
We need to play our role in this growth
Like bitter medicine
Pain has good results
And in any case
There is no way around it
In our lives
August 22nd, 2016
Easier said than done
Emotional upheavals come our way
There is no way to avoid them
Then we have to put long term serenity
Over short term happiness
This is a difficult proposition
Status quo and temporary joy
Have great allure
The human spirit has to rise to the occasion
Flex its muscles
And accept the pain
Of course, all of this is easier
Said than done
August 11th, 2016
Life is messy
If we expect life to be a smooth ascent
We’ll be disappointed time after time
If we see challenges as part of life
We’ll be less frustrated and distraught
If we don’t accept wrinkles as part of getting older
We’ll be saddened each time we look in the mirror
If we see them as a natural phenomenon
We may stop noticing them
If we think things should go the way we hope and plan
We’re in for a big surprise
If we realise somethings are out of our hands
We’ll accept detours with an open heart
Life is supposed to be messy, I was told
Otherwise we would not grow
And if I accept that
I’ll see challenges as part of the plan
unpaved road
Imagine driving on a road and coming to an unpaved section
There is dust, the road is not smooth, and you slow down
There are two options at this point
Either to keep going and put up with the difficulties of the unpaved road
Or to back track a bit and find an alternate paved route
The second option requires effort
Requires searching for a new way
Even recognizing that there is an alternative
The difficulties of life are like unpaved roads
They are an invitation to look at other options
Other ways of thought
Other behaviour
In other words, growth…
But it’s up to us to accept the invitation or not
We also have the choice to continue on the gravel road
And suffer the consequences and complain
About the state of affairs and the unfairness of the situation
All the time not realizing it’s not the situation that
Has to change, it’s us!
Lida Berghuis
September 4th, 2015
The journey
The journey
Can an outward journey lead to an inward journey?
Can we find what we are looking for outside ourselves?
Sometimes a journey to a land far off awakens a dormant part of us
Helps us see with new eyes and enables us to walk a different walk
Sometimes we need to leave the familiar behind
To be faced with uncertainty and unfamiliarity
To appreciate what we already have
Sometimes hearing others’ point of view
Can make us question our assumptions and make us think
It can make us go deeper in the inward journey
And sometimes to journey inward
One need not go anywhere
One needs to open one’s heart
To look with a searching eye
To listen to unspoken words
To live a conscious life
Sometimes the inward journey happens at home
In familiar surroundings, but unfamiliar territory
Both kinds of journey require a thirst for knowledge
A desire for adventure
and being open to change and growth
The outward journey
If it doesn’t lead to an inward journey
Hasn’t fulfilled its potential
It’s the inward journey that transforms us
Lida Berghuis
August 25th, 2015
Transformation
It’s the times that we think
Nothing is happening in our lives
Or the times that challenge us most that
Make us who we are
Change happens slowly
Transformation is not a one day affair
And often the experiences that change us the most
Are not the most pleasant
They take us out of comfort One
They make us question our beliefs
They test our endurance and constancy
And only when we look back
Can we see what was happening
Had a transformative effect
But change requires a conscious effort
To see things in a new way
To question our assumptions
To search for meaning
It’s our thoughts and actions
That lead to change
The desire to learn
To look with new eyes
To understand better
To go deeper
And perhaps it can be a solace
During challenging times to know
Life changing can be the result…
The person I’ve become
The person I’ve become
Is more authentic, more real!
I don’t wear a mask as much
I confide in my friends
The person I’ve become
Knows her limits better
I don’t compare myself to others as much
I’ve learned to say no more often
I’ve learned to ask for what I need
The person I’ve become
Takes more responsibility
Feels more empowered to create change
To change myself
My thoughts
And therefore my actions and feelings
The person I’ve become
Sees challenges as an integral part of life
Not to run from
But to learn from
The person I’ve become
Takes care of herself
Without self care, one can’t help others
One burns out!
The person I’ve become
Sees interdependence as essential
Life is not meant to be lived in a solitary way
We need each other’s help
We need to build deep, authentic friendships and
Call on each other when we need support and help
The person I’ve become
Knows there is more to learn
There is always room for improvement
Ways to do things better
New ways of thought
Deeper understanding
The person I’ve become
Is more thankful
Seeing good in all that comes my way
The person I’ve become
Tries not to take simple things for granted!
Lida Berghuis
January 15th, 2015
"Forge meaning from adversity"
Adversity is a blessing if we are able to look
With the eye of wisdom and see the gems hidden in it
Adversity is opportunity for growth
Adversity makes visible the invisible
Shows us what’s essential and
Guides us to surrender, humility, and acceptance
When faced with adversity
One can crumble and complain incessantly
Or one can decide to take an active part
In tackling the situation
Not running from it
Not hoping for miracles
Not blaming others and even God!
But resolving to see what can be learned
How best one can cope and to keep setting
Noble goals despite what may seem like
Unsurmountable limitations
Lida Berghuis
January 2nd, 2015
lida's musings 