The magic of the early mornings

Mar4

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The silence of the early morning

When the world is still sleeping

When the sun has not risen

When my mind is refreshed after a night of rest

When the day ahead awaits

All I hear is the tick tock of the clock in the living room

And the hum of the heater

And that’s if I listen for it

Otherwise, I’m lost in my thoughts

On a sea of tranquility 

No one to distract me

No one who needs me

No urgent feeling to do things

Other than contemplate, read and write

It’s the magic of the early morning

Is my spirit closer to its source?

Is my mind not clouded with the tasks of the day?

What is the source of this calm I feel?

 

March 4th, 6:00 am

The swamp

Mar1

 

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When I hear words that sadden my heart

sully my soul and make me feel like the

day has turned into night

When I hear words that are like awful

inkblots on a white silk scarf

I feel like I’ve plunged into a swamp

That I’m struggling to get out

But I keep being pulled back in

I feel the heaviness of the mud

Mud that has sullied my skin

I long for a fountain of pure water

To wash the dirt off of me 

The swamp is insistent though

And I feel trapped

Suddenly something beautiful catches my eyes

I see a field of wildflowers in the distance

My mood changes a bit 

The swamp seems less menacing

I keep my gaze on the flowers

And their beauty gives me the courage to

Continue my struggle 

And eventually I free myself

From the ugly swamp of dark emotions

 

February 24th, 2019

Web of love 2

Feb25

 

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Words and ideas 

Crisscross the world

At the speed of lightening

Words about how we feel

The challenges we’ve had

The insights we’ve gleaned

 

Developing friendships 

Expanding friendships 

That’s what we do

Technology has brought us together 

This was impossible 

Ten years ago

 

We come together daily

Make each other laugh and think

We shower each other with praise

Wash the dust off our spirits

 

We are spinning a web of love

Across the world 

Connecting our hearts

We are helping each other grow 

 

February 23rd, 2019 

Try harder

Feb22

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Are you inherently weaker?

Not resilient enough?

Not optimistic by nature?

Unable to pull yourself up by your bootstraps?

These are questions one can face when depressed

 

Advice that is not helpful:

It will pass, be patient

Try harder

Be grateful for what you have 

You just need to change your attitude 

 

People mean well

But we don’t understand depression 

Well enough yet

 

Depression holds so many of us

In its grips

No one talks about it though

It’s easier to pretend all is well

It’s easier to not answer why or why again

So we hide behind the mask of normal

And very few people know our pain

 

Depression resembles laziness

Lack of vigor

A negative outlook towards life

Sadness

Hopelessness

 

And how is one to explain 

That you are trying hard

You are doing your best to feel better

You are not enjoying wallowing in your grief

That you don’t have complete control over how you feel

 

Good questions

The answers are not so obvious  

 

February 20th, 2019

The sparrow

Feb8

white flower

Peacocks should be peacocks and sparrows, sparrows

The sparrow who tries to be a peacock fails

It gets disappointed 

And may even forget how to be a sparrow

 

We’re all different

With different capacities

Abilities

And energy levels

Comparing ourselves to others does not work

Yet we do that often

I do that often

 

Sometimes I feel I’m driving in the slow lane

Maybe I should switch lanes

Then I’ll get to my destination faster

But if my car can’t handle speed well

I could crash and never get to my destination 

 

The slow lane is there for a reason

And there are others with me in the slow lane

And as long as we continue steadily

We’ll get to where we want to go

Maybe we’ll see more of the surroundings

In the slow lane 

 

February 5th, 2019

One cup

Feb4

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One cup of meditation

Along with a cup of coffee 

Drunk in a peaceful place

A place where I’m not distracted by daily responsibilities 

A place l return to regularly 

No matter how busy life gets

 

One cup of meditation

As addictive as coffee

Often leads to thoughts being written down

This can be a cure for my weary soul

A balm for my sensitive heart

 

One cup of meditation 

Along with a cup of coffee 

Consumed daily

Gives me the energy and enthusiasm 

To carry on

 

February 2019

Prayer beads

Feb2

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Prayer beads 

Made of warm brown wood

The tassel, a fiery red

Lie in front of me on my footstool 

Prayer beads

Take me back to Iran

The country I come from

Held in the hands of a holy one in a photograph

Held in the hands of the merchant at the bazaar as he sells his wares

Held in the hand of the Sufi sage as he moves the beads with his fingers like he has done a thousand times 

Prayer beads

Come in all colors and forms

Made of wood or glass or stone 

Prayer beads

Are sacred to me

They connect us to our creator 

 

2 February 2019

At the mall

Jan28

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Sitting in the modern bazaar, the mall

Looking at all sorts of people walking by

A black guy with braided hair with his headphones on

A twenty something girl with purple hair

A guy with a very long beard

A girl looking at her phone as she walks

Sales signs everywhere to entice the shoppers

Chocolate boxes in the shape of hearts for the upcoming valentine

A man carrying a suit he just bought

Someone next to me talking on her phone about her flight

Someone walking with scarf, hat and mittens on

Maybe she just came inside

And me sitting comfortably on a bench with my notebook

Each person I see has their own story

The guy with the long beard may be grieving a loss

  1. The girl with purple hair may have just got some good news

The man carrying the suit may be going to a friend’s wedding

The person who is smiling may actually be sad inside

Friends talking

Maybe giving each other advice

Shiny new merchandise everywhere

Salespeople who are eager to sell

And in the middle of this material world

We are the carriers of our souls

Sensitive souls that need to be loved 

We each have our own story 

Some of it written, some unknown 

January 27th, 2019

Stay with me

Jan27

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Once my daughter was distraught 

Life seemed confusing

Questions were many

Joy was gone

And tears ran down her cheeks 

Like rain from the clouds

 

I wanted to help her

I asked her what I should do

She said sit next to me mom

Don’t leave me alone

 

I sat with her

We talked a little 

I tried to console her

But later she told me 

I left too soon

 

She said she needed me there

I asked her what for?

Just to be with me mom

So I wouldn’t feel alone

 

Loneliness is the worst thing

During hard times

 

26 January 2019

Black and brown

Jan25

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Natasha and I are sitting side by side

Talking about organizing the storage space in our house

Growing an indoor herb garden

And cleaning out parts of her room

 

She is very talkative and not on her phone

And we are chatting it up

But you wouldn’t want to see us now 

Or take our photograph

 

We are sitting side by side in the hair salon

With color on our hair 

She is going from brown to black

And I’m going from black to brown

The grass is always greener on the other side

January 24th, 2019