Tag Archive | Cancer

It’s only your body

Oct29

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It was difficult to lose my hair

Mom, it was only your body

You looked beautiful anyways 

You eyes shone bright as always 

I have scars across and under my breasts

Mom, you know that the physical matters not

Your spirit is strong and untouched 

I have little dots tattooed on me for radiation

Mom, no one sees them anyway

Your smile is as beautiful as always 

I have a portocath in my arm

It pulls sometimes when I stretch

Mom, it’s only your body

And you are as active as before anyway

I no longer have my breasts 

That’s also only your body

Your soul shines bright everyday 

October 27, 2023

The gift of time

Oct27


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When you overcome an illness

There is a sense that it was meant to be

That you are meant to be here still

And continue this physical existence a little longer

When you overcome an illness

You don’t take life for granted

You know that your time on this earth is limited

And you need to use it wisely 

There is nothing wrong with our existence after this life

As the spirit’s life is never ending

But we are here for a purpose

And need to use our talents and abilities

In the service of our community 

When you overcome an illness

Life becomes more precious

Time becomes more valuable

Projects becomes more urgent 

Family becomes more important

And you become grateful for the gift of time

October 29th, 2023

Humour needed

Sep15

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Cancer treatment can be funny
How, you may ask
First, the hospital gowns
You need a degree to know how to tie them
They are one size fits all
I was so proud of myself when I figured out one kind
Then I had the good fortune of having to try a new kind
And that was a disaster
And very frustrating
I tried to follow the directions on the wall
But that did not help
Finally I had to ask another patient to tie it for me

The other funny thing is that the hospital workers in the cafeteria
Gather at lunch and talk and laugh
Forgetting that they are surrounded by sick people

Then there is the lady at the entrance of the cancer wing
Each time she has to ask us if we have any Covid symptoms
And she lists them out fast like the bullets of a matching gun
I want to tell her I know exactly what she is going to ask
And that the answer is no
But she won’t go for that

The other funny or sometimes frustrating thing is
That when visiting your surgeon
You wait and wait
And then you are called into a room finally
But the room is empty and have to you wait and wait
Till the surgeon comes
And in the meantime you hear him walking in the hallway
Talking to other people and you feel totally ignored
Then he comes in with a big smile and lots of energy
Goes over everything really fast
And having experienced a tornado of information
Half of which you don’t understand
You leave
But God bless these surgeons

September 15, 2023

Gratitude

Sep12

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Not to take life for granted
Not to take health for granted
Not to discount the amazing opportunity that is aging
Not to wait to do what one wants to do
These are the gifts of a disease like cancer

Gratitude for the treatments that are available
Gratitude for the support of friends and family
Gratitude for the strength that comes from the spiritual world
Gratitude for managing another challenge in life
Gratitude for the lessons these challenges teach us
Gratitude for deep conversations I’ve had with friends as a result
Gratitude for the love I feel from so many people
Gratitude for learning to live life purposefully
Gratitude for the warm embrace of friendship
These are the things I’m grateful for

September 12, 2023

Road map

Jul12

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My chest looks like a road map

What with all the scars and green marker lines for radiation

Criss-crossing each other

It’s a road map

A road map to where?

It can be to somewhere wonderful

Somewhere beautiful

Somewhere inspirational

I decide where the destination is

So, I look at the road map on my chest

And see a beautiful oasis in the middle of the desert

With trees, and a pond

And birds bathing and drinking water

And green grass around the pond

That’s where I’m headed

July 12th, 2023

Why fear?

Apr13

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No wonder people are hesitant to even use the word cancer

It used to be a terrible disease

Often detected too late 

Resulting in death often

We knew so little

Treatments were new and being developed

But things have changed

Early detection makes all the difference

Treatments are better and more effective

Years of trials and research has paid off

Cancer is no longer a death sentence

But being vigilant is important

Screening is important

A healthy life style is important

Prevention is the best treatment 

We need not be afraid of cancer

But we do have to be proactive 

April 13th, 2023

Good side effects

Feb18
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Chemo medications have side effects

So, they give you pre-medications which also has side effects

You tolerate the side effects of the pre-meds

So that you don’t have to deal with those of the actual meds

Nausea is one of the main problems of chemo

So they give you drugs to counteract that

Of course, we are grateful 

But what to do with the side effects of the nausea meds?

It’s a tangled web

But one that is necessary

The best way we can remove the cancer cells from our bodies

The same medications that kill the cancer cells

Kill our hair follicles as well

But luckily, this hair loss is temporary

And the hope is that the cancer cells never come back

Our nails can get darkened due to chemo too

But there is always nail polish

Our eyebrows will get thinner

But there is eyebrow pencil to help us out

I should not forget to mention the good side effects of chemo

For weeks I haven’t needed to shave or wash my hair

February 18th, 2023

Am I stressed?

Jan31

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Am I under constant stress due to my cancer treatment?

I’d say no

It’s been seven months since the diagnosis

The first few weeks very stressful

The sense of disbelief

Getting used to the idea or accepting it

All the what-ifs that go through your mind

And then accepting what’s to come

Initially, I thought I’d only need surgery and radiation

But then came the news of chemo

That was a tough pill to swallow

But we have no choice but to accept

The surprises life brings us

Acceptance brings us a certain level of peace

The first three months of chemo were tough

Especially because my mood was affected

Now, I’m back to my normal life

And so happy to be writing again

So, I’m not stressed right now

Just going through the various stages of treatment

Knowing that the prognosis is good

Feeling the love and support of my family and friends

And making the best of the situation that I’m in

January 31st, 2023

What more could I want?

Jan29

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My Chemo holiday is almost over

Tomorrow blood test and my meeting with my oncologist

And Wednesday, back to the hospital to get some Taxol in me

Compared to my chemo before the New Year

This is a walk in the park

Yes, there are side effects

Fatigue, the funny taste in my mouth, my tongue being sore sometimes

But they are very tolerable

Two more months of Taxol and I’ll be done with chemo

What an experience it has been

As they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

After chemo, my body gets a break

Then comes one more surgery

Followed by radiation therapy 

And finally I’ll have reconstruction surgery

It’s a long road

But I’m living my life

I’m writing and working on publishing my books

Life goes on

Of course I will be happy when this period is over

But I’ll try to make the best of the journey I’m on

My cancer diary keeps me company

My friends shower me with love and encouragement 

My family is most supportive

What more could I want?

January 29th, 2023

My chemo ring

Jan28

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My chemo ring

What might that be, you may wonder

Let me explain

When I found I needed chemotherapy

I was shocked and taken off guard

I thought I would be done after my surgery for breast cancer

But the surgery revealed things that meant 

My treatment was not over yet

I needed chemotherapy and more surgery

I especially did not look forward to chemotherapy 

I’d never heard of a good chemo experience

Hair loss and unpleasant side effects are all I knew about it

So, to make the situation more palatable

I decided to treat myself to something

And that would be my chemo ring

Recently I had bough a ring for my right ring finger

It had a little bling, which is what I was looking for

Now, I wanted to buy a ring with bling for my right index finger

And by bling I mean fake diamonds

I just love glitter but 

I don’t like the price of diamonds

There are many alternatives these days

So, when I was at the jewelry store for another reason

I decided to look at their rings too

I found one that looked nice and was not too expensive

And that’s how my chemo ring came to be

It had the required bling of course

January 25th, 2023