You need to extend a hand
Before someone takes your hand
There is risk involved
Courage is required
But almost always
If the intention is right
People are waiting for an extended hand
The barriers are mostly in our own minds
We create them and give them shape
Our insecurities get in the way
Most often, kindness begets kindness
A smile is returned with a smile
And beautiful connections are made
Because someone took the first step
And reached out
July 22nd 2016
Sometimes I wonder how I’m friends with people
Who have such different lives from me
Where is the commonality?
Then I realize that underneath all the veneer
The different social roles that we have
The conditions we live in and
The experiences we’ve had
We all long for connection
Connection with someone who
Does not judge and understands
Someone you can talk to about anything
Someone with whom you can cry and laugh
And this connection is a soul connection
It’s based on something deep inside
It’s as if you are on the same wavelength
And if the other person is old or young
Wealthy or not, shares your religion or not
It matters not
In choosing my friends what I look for
Is kindness, compassion and an encouraging nature
Someone I can talk to about things that matter to both of us
We don’t have to agree on everything
We just need to respect one another’s point of view
We all want to be seen and heard
That’s the gift our friend gives us and
That’s what we give back in return
March 7th, 2016
When things you thought would never come to pass, do!
When people you thought you would never hear from again
Reappear in your life
When friendships that started years ago can continue to grow
When I have a connection to my homeland I never thought I would
It becomes clear to me again that life
Is full of surprises, difficult and joyous
That things can change in an instant
For better or worse
That one never knows what lies ahead
That technology is bringing the world together
In amazing ways
So thrilled to be in touch with my classmates
So proud to know what they have achieved
So happy that we can still be silly and laugh
So wonderful that we don’t take ourselves too seriously
Life is full of unexpected turns
And this connection certainly takes the cake!
Lida Berghuis
November 4th, 2015
Connecting to others is what life’s about
Life without connections is meaningless
Connection is based on vulnerability
Letting our guard down
Appearing less than perfect
Admitting to not knowing
To uncertainty
To confusion
Asking for help when we fall down
Sharing the hard times
If we let someone into our lives
And confide in them
They will confide in us
But someone has to have the courage
To be the first one
We have all known adversity
But we will only share that with
People whom we feel close to
Those who won’t judge us
Those who will have time for us
Those who will hang around in tough times
These kinds of connections
Only come about if we are open about our ups and downs
And are willing to take off the mask of ‘feeling fine’
August 24th, 2015
I saw him once
Or did I?
He seemed very real at the time
More than real
He was splendidly alive!
He came to me
We started to talk
The connection was immediate
Between us
It doesn’t take long
To connect with someone’s heart
We dined together
He saw my paintings
He said the hyacinths I drew
Were wonderfully fragrant
I gave the painting to him…
He gave me his poems
I translated them
They stayed in storage
For a long time
And flood waters
May have destroyed them
Was he real?
Was it a dream?
Did we even ever meet?
We did!
He has my painting
I have his poetry
Some of which
I committed to heart
That short encounter
Will stay with me
I don’t know where he is…
But does it matter, really?
Lida Berghuis
August 9th, 2015
Travelling and learning
Getting to know new people
My favorite thing
Seeing new places is also good
But I’m a tourist of people
Different personalities fascinate me
I learn from talking and listening
The physical place is not as important
It’s the people that count for me
Connection matters to me
Friendship is important to me
It’s the trip of the soul that counts
The body just comes along
The physical landscape is interesting too
But if I go somewhere and don’t get to
Know a new soul
I may have as well stayed home!
At the coffee shop
We stare at our phones
One person per table
Conversation only over the phone
Two people talking
Not so much any more!
Each person interacts with a phone
Or a laptop
We’re not looking each other in the eye
We’re living isolated lives
Where is the community
Where is the warmth?
Blank stares on our faces
Smiles are rare
We are social beings
Not loners
We should sit in a group
Laugh and talk
Share experiences
Spread the love
Solitary lives are sad ones
We need each other to survive
We have taken independence too far
We need to rely on each other to thrive…
Lida Berghuis
July 19th, 2015
We are super-connected
Yet, so disconnected at times
We have the technology
But to transform the world we live in
We need to add heart!
Because when hearts connect
There’s nothing that can’t be done!
We have the World Wide Web and the Cloud
We are connected to each other 24 hours a day
But the connection that we need
To change the world we live in
Is super low-tech!
This connection can be made with a smile
A shared moment of joy
It can be made with an eye contact
That acknowledges the other person
This connection is made by feeling the pain of someone who is in distress
Someone who needs a helping hand
And listening ear
For this connection, all one needs is love
A sense of belonging to the whole and
Being responsible for the welfare of all
So, as we get better connected technologically each day
Lets not forget this most important connection
Lida Berghuis
October 12th, 2014
Inspired by:
Reimaging the world From scarcity to prosperity
Eliane Ubalijoro | TEDxConcordia
Talking heart to heart!
Listening, really listening to someone else!
We don’t do it often enough
Small talk takes up a lot of our time
Real concerns and worries
Are buried deep inside
Then once in a while
We open our heart to someone else
And talk about what really matters
That requires trust
And being able to be vulnerable
Letting our guard down
It seems it’s hard to be our real selves most of the time
Instead we hide behind a beautiful smiling facade
Instead we put on the “All is OK” mask
Instead we bury what really matters deep down
But then there are those rare moments of honesty
Of being our authentic selves
When pretense disappears
When we speak from the heart
When we feel in close connection with another soul
The barriers having come down
Those moments are precious
Those are the conversations that heal us
Change us, and make us feel really alive!
Lida Berghuis
October 9th, 2013
Connection!
Connections of the heart
Hard to wrap your head around
What is it that attracts you
To someone and
Compels you to extend a hand in friendship
What is that little voice that Insists on bring heard
These connections do not fade with time or distance
or hardships met on the way
They get stronger
As the years go by
And with each challenge met on the way
Connections of the heart
Other-worldly they are
Not limited to this plane of dust
They transcend space and time
Lida Berghuis
February 15th, 2013
lida's musings 