Words

Dec7

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Words, wonderful
Words, powerful
Words, intimate
Words, full of meaning

Need to choose my words carefully
It’s so easy to hurt someone unintentionally

Words, beautiful
Words, uplifting
Words, how we communicate
Our thoughts and feelings

Words, passionate
Words, poetic
Words, sweet as milk and honey

Words, tender
Words, loving
These are the kind of words
I like to use and hear

Words that sparkle like gold
Words that bring joy
Words that encourage and praise
Words, a mighty instrument

December 7th, 2015

We will be loved…

Dec6

To fight a valiant fight
And not be caught up with the result
To realise that our worth is not in being the best
But in trying the hardest

Our friends and family love us for who we are,
What our values are
And the effort we make
Not because of what we achieve

So, if one day we are not first or the best
Or unable to reach the top
We will still be loved

And if there are those who will only
Love and respect us when we are at the top
That’s not the kind of love that means a lot

So, let’s try our best
Work from the fullness of our heart
With noble intentions
And not get hung up on the result
November 20th, 2015

Breaking the silence

Dec6

Breaking the silence

When we experience hardship and trauma
Experience what has stigma associated with it
Do we need to talk about it or not?

Sometimes we share these difficult experiences
With close family and friends
And that can be enough for us

But for the stigma to dissipate
We need to speak up
Silence perpetuates silence
And the stigma strengthens

What is hidden can be scary
What comes to light is usually not!

Often we think we are the only ones
No one is talking about it
That must be why

But as people break the collective silence
The stigma weakens
And eventually it dissipates

November 23rd, 2015

What I look for…

Dec6

Don’t ask me how deep his pockets are
Ask me how soft his shoulders are when
I lay my head on them

Don’t ask me what he does for a living
Ask me how he lives day to day

Don’t ask me what he drives
Ask me what drives him, what his passions are
And if there is enough room for me
In the story of his life

Don’t ask me what he looks like
Ask me whether he makes me feel
Like the most beautiful woman in town

Don’t ask me about the gifts he gives
Ask me if these gifts include compassion,
Empathy, respect and love

Don’t ask me where we will live
Because a lovely houses can feel like a prison
If it’s not filled with warmth, joy and delight

Don’t ask me where he’ll take me
On vacation each time
Ask me where he transports me
With his kind words and loving eyes

All the things I’m looking for
Don’t cost a thing
What brings me joy is
Being listened to and understood
What I enjoy
Are witty comments that make me laugh
What I need is
Kindness, generosity of spirit and
The gift of time spent with the one I love

Lida Berghuis
November 26th, 2015

Setting an example

Dec6

How have I learned the most valuable lessons in life?
Is it when someone told me how to live or
Is it when they set an example?

Is it when someone admonished me
Or when impressed by how they behaved
I tried to live better
Give more generously
And be a better me…

Do my children learn from what I tell them
Or how I behave?
What worth will my words have
If I contradict them?

Do I do better when I’m encouraged or scolded?
How wonderful it is when someone sees the good in me
It gives me reason to try even harder

When scolded
My spirit shrivels and shrinks
I’m not sure how much good the scolding did

My hope is always to be positive
I know I will falter and fall
But I’ll try to praise and show my friends
That I see the beauty in their actions

For someone else’s life I’m not responsible
Each of us has one life to focus on

If I look at someone else’s life
I’ll try to see only the good
After all, I hope others will do that for me

December 4th, 2015

In the long run…

Nov19

Those who are the victims of terror
Will be missed
Their lives were cut short unjustly
But their spirit has soared to the etherial realm
The bird of their heart has been freed
From the cage of their body
And they will be the recipients of the mercy of God

Those who commit terror
Are doing the greatest disservice to themselves
Sooner or later their soul will leave their body
And then what will they have?
Paradise, as they have been told?
I think not!
They will have to carry the weight of their
Guilt and remorse for the rest of time

November 19th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

Secrets

Nov18

When we have a secret
All is OK on the outside
But inside, something doesn’t feel right
We don’t feel as free as we should feel
We don’t feel authentic

We have our secrets because we feel
We will be judged
People may think less of us and
Their perfect ‘image’ of us will be tarnished
We will be the ‘other’, the one who does not belong

The ironic thing is that what we’re fearful of
May never come to pass
Actually, people will admire our courage
To be ourselves
And it will feel as if a weight has been lifted
From our shoulders

We keep secrets because difficult topics
Have been hidden in the past

We keep secrets because not enough people
Share the difficult parts of their lives to
Give others the courage to do the same

We keep secrets because we don’t want to
Feel vulnerable and get hurt
We keep secrets because it seams easier

But when we open our hearts to others
When we trust them with our secrets
The reaction most of the time is that of
Empathy and understanding
Because we will look more human, if less perfect
Because others have secrets too

The ocean of life is turbulent
And not one ship is immune from the
Challenges of the journey

November 18th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

Waiting for happiness…

Nov17

If you’re not happy now
You won’t be happy
After getting where you want to get
Having what you want to have
Being what you want to be

So often we think
When I have finished my studies…
When I’m married…
When my kids are in school…
When I’ve published my first book…

We think our happiness depends on
Those mile posts
That somehow crossing the finish line
Will change something in us
Will bring us joy and happiness
Will be essential to us feeling fulfilled

But joy comes from contentment
From peace of mind
From believing in something greater than us
From setting lofty goals
From not being self-centered
From reaching out to others
In their time of need

And none of this is dependent on where
We are in our lives
And what mile posts we have crossed
We need to have goals
But we can be happy at any point in our lives

November 17th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

Points of light

Nov14

The night is darkest before the dawn they say
Darkness is evident in the world today
Killing in the name of God has become common place
What God intended was love not this!

Children suffer and die from hunger
As we throw away mountains of food
Girl children are deprived of education
Who makes these rules?

Darkness rears its ugly head too often these days
But hope and love can’t be eliminated by darkness
The atrocities we see
The selfishness and hunger after power that perpetrates them
They sadden our hearts, but can’t demoralize us

Goodness and love
Compassion and kindness
Justice and mercy will prevail

There is a lot of gloom in the world
But there are points of light as well

Neighbours helping neighbours
People opening their homes to strangers
Out of love
Millions of people volunteering their time
Trying to make a difference in someone’s life

These points of light are our hope
Light will conquer darkness in the long run

November 14th, 2015
Lida Berghuis

Reflections on wealth, class and looks

Nov12

Reflections on wealth, looks and class

How far can wealth, looks and class take you?

Wealth is good but it’s here today and not the next
Plus wealth brings its own problems
There is always someone who is more wealthy than you
One can never say one has enough wealth
So, if that’s what we’re after, we’ll never get there

Wealth also puts you in a bubble of sorts
Everyone around you is the same
You’ll end up living in a world that’s not real
You can easily lose touch with the average man
And possibly your humanity

Good looks is Ok
But by now we know
It’s as impermanent as water colour
And as deceiving as fool’s gold!

Plus if what’s on the outside
Is not reflected inside
It’s no use
Good looks does not comfort you
Support you
Or encourage you
A kind heart is what does that
And that definitely does not depend on good looks

Class?
What is that?
How do we decide if someone has class?
For me the classiest things are humility
Generosity and empathy
This is what I would be looking for
The outward stuff tends to take the fun out of life
One needs to take oneself so seriously

Good looks are good only
If accompanied by a good heart
Wealth is good
If we use it the right way
If it doesn’t go to our head
If it doesn’t blind us to the rest of the world
If it’s earned honestly and with hard work

Class is good
If one’s actions are classy
Not one’s appearance only
No one wants a classy friend
With a cold heart

By themselves wealth, class and looks
Don’t amount to much
They are empty shells that will disappoint
In the long run

On the other hand
Kindness, generosity, humility and such
Add to wealth that can’t be taken away
Beauty that will never fade
And a classiness that is real!

Lida Berghuis
November 11th, 2015