Archives

Authentic

Apr25

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I try to be authentic 

Show my real self

Not a version I’ve created to please others

I try to be honest about my strengths and weaknesses

Not hide what may seem unpleasant 

We are all human

We all have faults

We go through tough times

All of us

So showing my authentic self

Will only reassure others that 

What they experience is not unique to them

It’s OK to not feel good

It’s OK to ask for help

That’s how we draw closer to our friends

We all age

Our hair goes gray

We develop wrinkles

We gain weight

That’s normal

If you look at the 60 year old who looks thirsty

Something is wrong

They are running from the process of aging

And they may make others feel less than

A few wrinkles

Our love handles

Will not make us less attractive 

Beauty comes from inside

From who we are and what we do

And how we treat others

I’ll admit one thing though

I’m not ready to stop colouring my hair

April 25th, 2023

Sunny day

Apr15

 

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Sunny days are fleeting 

The clouds always gather and rain falls

It’s like the days of our lives

We need to enjoy the sunny days

Sit outside

Go for walks

Soak up the sunshine

Because most likely tomorrow it will rain

Challenges will come

Illness may visit

Stressful situations my arise

But like real rain

These days are the days that water the ground

Of our hearts and souls

They may not be our favorite days

But they are necessary for our growth 

Without rain, we don’t have lush gardens and meandering rivers

Without rain, we don’t appreciate the sunny days as much

Today is a sunny day

And I’m sitting in the sun

April 14th, 2023

Why fear?

Apr13

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No wonder people are hesitant to even use the word cancer

It used to be a terrible disease

Often detected too late 

Resulting in death often

We knew so little

Treatments were new and being developed

But things have changed

Early detection makes all the difference

Treatments are better and more effective

Years of trials and research has paid off

Cancer is no longer a death sentence

But being vigilant is important

Screening is important

A healthy life style is important

Prevention is the best treatment 

We need not be afraid of cancer

But we do have to be proactive 

April 13th, 2023

Love of my life

Apr11

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In the quiet of the early morning

It’s me, my iPad and my thoughts

It’s raining outside, Vancouver style

It’s good to be with family I don’t see often

It’s good to be taken care of as a guest

I do think about the surgery that’s ahead

But it should be OK

I’ll be brave

I know what to expect this time

A few days of discomfort and pain

But those will pass too

And with them, my time dealing with cancer

I think of my projects to come

So grateful I enjoy writing

So grateful I can share what I write

This is something I need never to retire from

This is the love of my life

April 11th, 2023

Six months

Apr4

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Six months of chemo is almost finished

It seemed so long to begin with

But life goes on 

Some months were easier and some more challenging

But if the result is good, it’s been worth it 

My hair fell out

That was traumatic

It’s growing now

That makes me happy

My nails got dark 

But I’ve painted them and they look good

That funny taste in my mouth

Does not go away

And I look forward to it being gone

Nausea only the first three months

Fatigue mostly in those months too

Maybe I was lucky to have only these side effects

It can always be worse

Now I look forward

Two operations and radiation therapy

That should be six months too

But life goes on 

And it will be over before I know it

April 3rd, 2023

The answer is no!

Mar5

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You want me to cover my hair

I say no!

You say it’s the sign of piety

I say no!

You say it will protect me from harm

I say no!

You say otherwise I’ll excite men

I say no!

You can’t convince me to do something I don’t want to do

You don’t realize how strong I am

You have tried to put me down

But each time, you see me rise 

You fear me and my courage 

You should!

I am determined and won’t back down 

I will continue this fight 

I see you are worried and

You should be! 

Women, life, liberty!

March 2023 

Sunday brunch

Feb19

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Today, I’m happy because we have brunch guests

Covid put a stop to our monthly gatherings with our friends

Even now, the effects of Covid are still there

We don’t get together as often as we used to

It’s hard to put the habits formed in three years aside

It’s hard to remember we can socialize now

Zoom and WhatsApp are great

But face to face meetings are something else

When we sit across from each other 

We breathe the same air

Our presence affects our surroundings

It’s easier to feel someone else’s feelings

It’s easier to communicate love and friendship

Through coming together we can renew our energy

We can strengthen our bonds of friendship

So I’m happy we have guest today

I’m glad to be a hostess today

February 19th 2023

Good side effects

Feb18
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Chemo medications have side effects

So, they give you pre-medications which also has side effects

You tolerate the side effects of the pre-meds

So that you don’t have to deal with those of the actual meds

Nausea is one of the main problems of chemo

So they give you drugs to counteract that

Of course, we are grateful 

But what to do with the side effects of the nausea meds?

It’s a tangled web

But one that is necessary

The best way we can remove the cancer cells from our bodies

The same medications that kill the cancer cells

Kill our hair follicles as well

But luckily, this hair loss is temporary

And the hope is that the cancer cells never come back

Our nails can get darkened due to chemo too

But there is always nail polish

Our eyebrows will get thinner

But there is eyebrow pencil to help us out

I should not forget to mention the good side effects of chemo

For weeks I haven’t needed to shave or wash my hair

February 18th, 2023

Chemo session

Feb16

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She is lying under her white hospital blanket, her eyes closed

She may even be asleep

She looks serene 

He is on his phone

Doing something or other

The lady across from me seems to be content to just be

And not do anything

I’m listening to calming piano 

Attached to my IV

Which gives me medicine that will heal me

My nurse, a big, tall lady with beautiful manicured nails

Is sitting at her desk now

Doing something on the computer

We are not allowed to have family with us

So, Albert is in the cafeteria

Having driven me here

And ready to take me home

I am grateful

I feel groggy and tired as I type this poem 

Driving would not be advisable 

One of the nurses is with her patient now

Looking at the device that dispenses the chemo right into our veins

Lots of buttons, telling the time and the kind of medicine being dispensed

And tubes that come out of the device everywhere

One such tube is attached to me

And I can see the drip drip of the medicine

Half an hour to go, says the timer

Five weeks of chemo done

Seven weeks to go

But I live my life

And do what I need to and want to do

At a pace I choose

February 15th, 2023