I try to be authentic 

Show my real self

Not a version I’ve created to please others

I try to be honest about my strengths and weaknesses

Not hide what may seem unpleasant 

We are all human

We all have faults

We go through tough times

All of us

So showing my authentic self

Will only reassure others that 

What they experience is not unique to them

It’s OK to not feel good

It’s OK to ask for help

That’s how we draw closer to our friends

We all age

Our hair goes gray

We develop wrinkles

We gain weight

That’s normal

If you look at the 60 year old who looks thirsty

Something is wrong

They are running from the process of aging

And they may make others feel less than

A few wrinkles

Our love handles

Will not make us less attractive 

Beauty comes from inside

From who we are and what we do

And how we treat others

I’ll admit one thing though

I’m not ready to stop colouring my hair

April 25th, 2023

Shoulds that strangle*
Shoulds that entangle
Shoulds that stop us in our tracks
Shoulds that make us change our plans

Shoulds that are so deep within
That we don’t see them

Shoulds of tradition
Shoulds of convention
Shoulds of fear
Fear of change

Shoulds that depress us
Shoulds that drown us
Shoulds that darken our days so bright

I’’m throwing away these shoulds
These musts
Who makes these rules?
This is my life!

Should do this to be valued
Should do that to be good
Should not do this, or all is lost

It takes courage to
Throw away the shoulds
It takes belief in yourself

Life has a way of showing you
There are no shoulds
When it comes to being yourself

Who you are deep inside
Is marvelous
Is awesome!

These are the shoulds I choose to live by:

Should be authentic!
Should be me!
Should discover what’s deep within
Should learn and explore
Should love and serve
Should make the world
A better place

Should be joyful
Should be grateful
Should know life has ups and downs
Should pay attention
Should meditate
Should pray
Should do yoga!

Lida Berghuis
February 13th, 2011

*Inspired by the phrase: “Shoulds that strangle our passion and creativity”
In Finding Joy!