It’s only your body

Oct29

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It was difficult to lose my hair

Mom, it was only your body

You looked beautiful anyways 

You eyes shone bright as always 

I have scars across and under my breasts

Mom, you know that the physical matters not

Your spirit is strong and untouched 

I have little dots tattooed on me for radiation

Mom, no one sees them anyway

Your smile is as beautiful as always 

I have a portocath in my arm

It pulls sometimes when I stretch

Mom, it’s only your body

And you are as active as before anyway

I no longer have my breasts 

That’s also only your body

Your soul shines bright everyday 

October 27, 2023

The gift of time

Oct27


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When you overcome an illness

There is a sense that it was meant to be

That you are meant to be here still

And continue this physical existence a little longer

When you overcome an illness

You don’t take life for granted

You know that your time on this earth is limited

And you need to use it wisely 

There is nothing wrong with our existence after this life

As the spirit’s life is never ending

But we are here for a purpose

And need to use our talents and abilities

In the service of our community 

When you overcome an illness

Life becomes more precious

Time becomes more valuable

Projects becomes more urgent 

Family becomes more important

And you become grateful for the gift of time

October 29th, 2023

Life after retirement

Oct21

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Life after retirement can be very full and fulfilling too

I can do all the things I love to do 

Writing and publishing 

Interviewing and translating

Serving on various committees 

Travelling 

Staying in touch with my high school friends 

And having stimulating and funny exchanges with them

There are a few other things I do regularly too

And all of them bring me a lot of joy 

Yes, there is housework and paper work and those need to be done

But if the rest of the time I’m busy with what I like

A little housework didn’t hurt anyone 

October 21, 2023

Lida things

Oct4

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I am Lida, doing Lida things

Making decisions on a whim

Thinking about them deeply later

Being impatient

Unable to sit still

Needing a change of scenery regularly

Writing in a coffee shop

Pouring my heart out

Without writing, my life not complete

Ready to plan a trip anytime

Go anywhere

Visiting friends and family

Wearing bright colours in the winter

And dresses all summer long

Enjoying bling on my fingers

Appreciating abstract art

Loving collage with Washi

Making my crazy collage cups

Enjoying deep discussions 

Loving laughing out loud

What is life without joy and meaning?

Thinking nothing will ever go wrong

Until it does

I’m the queen of optimism, seriously! 

But in all this I need a rock

A calm person I can rely on

Someone who can make me laugh

A constant presence that will support me

I am Lida doing Lida things

Being encouraged by those who love me

October 3, 2023

A dream visit

Oct2

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I saw him in my dream last night

It had been a while

He was in long term care

And I was visiting him

He was just waking up from a nap

And he was happy to see me

He was in a wheel chair

He was not in his best shape

I usually dream of him as a healthy man

Wearing a beautiful suit and standing tall

Now, he was frail

We spent some time together

I wanted to take him out for a stroll

But he said he was tired

So I reluctantly said good bye

I wondered to myself why I wasn’t visiting him more often

And I felt sad that he had to be alone so much of the time

September 26th, 2023

My spirit

Sep19

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My laughter does not age

There are wrinkles around my mouth

But my laughter still brings joy to others

My love does not age

My heart may show signs of the time elapsed

But my love grows deeper 

My writing does not age

My hands are not as smooth as before 

But what I write is based on much more experience 

My feet and knee hurt sometimes

But my legs carry me to new places every day 

My courage grows

My compassion strengthens 

And my appreciation increases

My body my age

But my spirit is strong and perhaps more vibrant 

September 19, 2023 

Humour needed

Sep15

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Cancer treatment can be funny
How, you may ask
First, the hospital gowns
You need a degree to know how to tie them
They are one size fits all
I was so proud of myself when I figured out one kind
Then I had the good fortune of having to try a new kind
And that was a disaster
And very frustrating
I tried to follow the directions on the wall
But that did not help
Finally I had to ask another patient to tie it for me

The other funny thing is that the hospital workers in the cafeteria
Gather at lunch and talk and laugh
Forgetting that they are surrounded by sick people

Then there is the lady at the entrance of the cancer wing
Each time she has to ask us if we have any Covid symptoms
And she lists them out fast like the bullets of a matching gun
I want to tell her I know exactly what she is going to ask
And that the answer is no
But she won’t go for that

The other funny or sometimes frustrating thing is
That when visiting your surgeon
You wait and wait
And then you are called into a room finally
But the room is empty and have to you wait and wait
Till the surgeon comes
And in the meantime you hear him walking in the hallway
Talking to other people and you feel totally ignored
Then he comes in with a big smile and lots of energy
Goes over everything really fast
And having experienced a tornado of information
Half of which you don’t understand
You leave
But God bless these surgeons

September 15, 2023

Gratitude

Sep12

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Not to take life for granted
Not to take health for granted
Not to discount the amazing opportunity that is aging
Not to wait to do what one wants to do
These are the gifts of a disease like cancer

Gratitude for the treatments that are available
Gratitude for the support of friends and family
Gratitude for the strength that comes from the spiritual world
Gratitude for managing another challenge in life
Gratitude for the lessons these challenges teach us
Gratitude for deep conversations I’ve had with friends as a result
Gratitude for the love I feel from so many people
Gratitude for learning to live life purposefully
Gratitude for the warm embrace of friendship
These are the things I’m grateful for

September 12, 2023

Instagram smile

Sep2

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Do we go around telling people of our challenge, our struggles, our health issues?

No, we all have our Instagram face on

We smile and it seems like everything is fine

But you have no idea what each person is dealing with

What difficult news they may have just heard

What their family concerns are

What financial issues they may have

So we assume

We assume that all is fine with everyone

And we are the ones with problems

But as soon as your share one of your challenges with some one

They share theirs with you

And then you realize this bubbly person has lupus

Or this friend is struggling with anxiety

Or this acquaintance can’t find a job he likes

It’s just good to be aware 

That life’s troubles visit everyone

Even the ones who seem to have no problems at all

And we are not alone 

And we need to be kind

September 1st, 2023

A maybe to-do list

Aug29

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A maybe to-do list!

What a wonderful concept

To do lists are very necessary

I make them too

But they can be stressful

Because what you need to do stares at you

Each time you pass it by

Some items on the to-do list are harder to cross off

They seem to be permanently there

After a while you don’t see them anymore

Maybe because they are not urgent

Or maybe because you don’t want to do them

Many years ago I learned to put taking care of myself

On the top of the to-do list

Just to make sure I’ll have time for it

I don’t actually write it on the paper

But it’s there in my mind

And I try to do something that is rewarding and enjoyable each day

Mostly writing 

But a maybe to-do list takes the pressure off

These are things you hope to do

But if you don’t 

The world will not fall apart

The tasks merely stay on the list till you get to them

August 29, 2023