Tag Archive | mothering

Mothering

A mother’s work is not glamorous
No need to dress up for work
No chit chat at the water cooler
No breakfast meetings or lunches out

A mother’s work is repetitive
What was washed before needs to be washed again
The same advice needs to be repeated
The same routine, each day

One never really gets a promotion
Even though the challenges always change
One is not materially compensated
Even though one works day after day

Sick days don’t exist
Holidays are more busy sometimes
The same errands and
The same activities day in day out
Can test one’s patience after a while

The work of the mother as educator
Is invaluable of course
Nurturing, loving, encouraging, consoling and more
But often that’s taken for granted
That’s after all what mothers should do

The creativity that goes into problem solving
On this job, is overlooked
Mothers are doing what mothers must do

A mother’s contribution to society
Is often not appreciated
Especially if she doesn’t work outside the home

But let’s consider what the world would be like
If mothers did not do what mothers do…
March 10th, 2016

Mothering matters

What do you say to an employer when you want to
Reenter the workforce, the paid workforce?

What do you put down for those years in your CV?

Here’s an idea:

Skills developed: management, organization, problem solving skills
Research, conflict resolution, and thinking on your feet!

Interpersonal qualities honed: listening skills, perseverance, assertiveness
being open to learning, patience, and compassion to name a few
Skills that will make you a wonderful team player at work

Which employer would not like this?
Which employer would think that you have ‘lost’ those years
Or put your personal development on hold?
Which employer would not want someone who has
Learned how to prioritize, analyze and sympathize?

And at the same time, you have nurtured and trained
the next generation to the best of your ability

So, next time someone asks you what happened during
Those years and that time
Tell them you were mothering and in the meantime
Doing continuing education in the fields above!

Lida Berghuis
January 6th, 2014

The stay at home mom who didn’t!

The stay at home mom?
Who is that?
One who never leaves the house?
I can’t do that!
It does not seem appealing
Not at all!
Why should I stay home
All day long?

Those days, my dear
They are gone
Mothers are out and about!
I see them at coffee shops
At the mall
I see them at the library
At schools
At volunteer organizations
And at the “Y”
They bring their children with them there
They meet their neighbours and their friends

They don’t have nine to five jobs
Their job needs them around the clock
Their office may be at home
But they are on the road a lot

Their job involves
Late night sessions
Overtime
Projects that stress them
Problems that need to be solved
Though training is mostly on the job
Research is required often
And good problem solving skills a must!

I’m glad I could be there
When my children were small
But I was the stay at home mom
Who never stayed home
Who was always gone!

Lida Berghuis
April 6th, 2003
updated in 2013

Things my kids say…

Natasha, could you please clean your room
It’s been messy for a while
“But mom, I don’t need to
I like my room messy right now!
Tidiness is over rated
I can still find all the things I want
My clothes may be on the floor
But I can still find them and put them on”

How was school today, Natasha?
“I didn’t see any hippos in the hall”!
What was your favorite class today?
“Gym, then recess and then lunch!”

“Mommy, please don’t talk to me
I am thinking right now
Not, I don’t want to tell you what I’m thinking about
Can you leave me alone for a while?”

What a rough morning this is
You need to do your homework at night
Now, you are asking me to help you
But I have other things on my mind

“Mommy, you can’t complain
For this, you yourself signed up
No one made you have kids
Don’t ask for sympathy, right now”

“Mommy, can you make me lunch
And make me a good sandwich this time
I’m tired of bagel and cheese and ham
Could you find something else this time?
My friends bring these amazing things for lunch
And I get the same thing all the time
Could I please have some variety…”
Why don’t you make your own lunch!?

And so it goes
Each day something new
Children will always surprise you!

But I’m happy I signed up for this adventure
I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Lida Beghuis
January 28th, 2011

Lipstick blues…

Mommy, do you have lipstick on?
Then no kisses
Just a hug!

If you kiss me with those red lips
I will have to wipe off
The lipstick!

Hugs I will give you gladly
But just one kiss
For me
Please!

But mommy
You have lipstick on
I can’t walk around
With a lipstick mark!

You are so yummy
Your hugs so sweet
But a kiss on your cheeks
I can’t resist!

I’ll wipe off the lipstick
I promise
Now can I have
My little kiss?

Lida Berghuis
June 28th, 2004

When the center shifts!

When I was a child
I felt like I was the center of the universe
The world revolved around me
My plans
My wants
My needs…

When I got married
The focus shifted
To us, from me…
We planned things together
We made decisions together
The center seemed to be
Somewhere between Albert and me

When I had Natalie
The center shifted once more
My daughter became the center
And that was something to get used to

Sleepless nights
Restricted freedom
A child who needed attention
All the time!

When Natasha arrived
Natalie had to share the center with her
And that was not easy

We now had two daughters who needed attention
Two children who took turns
To wake up at night!
The joys were there too
And still are
But once the center shifts
It’’s forever gone!

Nicholas arrived
And the center shifted again
Our needs were now
Fourth or fifth on the list
And we were nowhere near the center!

No longer the center of the universe
No longer the object of attention
This is what parenthood means
This is how we grow within!

Lida Berghuis
April 9th, 2004