I tried this wig
I tried that wig
I put on one with short hair
Then I tried one with longer hair
I tried one with straight hair
I tried one with curly hair
And each time I looked in the mirror
I saw someone else
Now, this someone was not bad looking
But good looking or not, she was not me
So back to my head carves I went
They are more authentic I think
February 8th, 2023
What is the secret of this song?
Why did it touch so many hearts?
Why did it become the anthem for a movement?
Why was it worthy of winning a prize?
The song was a cry for freedom
Freedom from nonsensical restrictions
Freedom to express oneself
Freedom from oppressive rules
The words of this song expressed the desires of a people
A people who have suffered for so long
People who are beaten for how they dress
People who are jailed for what they say
The lyrics of this song expressed what was needed
To show the world what was happening in Iran
The days of carrying out injustices without others knowing is over
What is happening is laid bare for all to see
The words that bubbled up from the soul of a young man
Have reached the world
The song has been sung everywhere
The truth is there to be heard
This is the secret of this song
Feb 6th 2023
For Shervin and his song of freedom which won a Grammy
The life I’ve chosen
Is the best life for me
Not for anyone else
Comparing my choices to that of others is not productive
We all have different aspirations in the world
Mine can be very different from yours
All that matters is that I’m content with the choices I’ve made
Even the unconventional ones
Even the ones that turn heads
All that matters is that I examine my life
And see if I’m satisfied
There are no right choices or wrong ones
Once we make a choice
We need to accept the consequences
We make the best decision we can with what we know at the time
No looking back
Only going forward
February 5th, 2023
Perspective is everything
One person can look at a vase of wilted sunflowers
And think they are not worthy of photographing
Van Gogh can look at the same vase
And paint a picture of them which is worth millions now
Things are not what they seem they are
They are what we perceive them to be
A worn coat can seem without value
For someone else, that same coat keeps the memory of their father alive
What I write are mere words on paper
But those words can touch someone’s heart
A tragic situation can be seen as a gift
That increases one’s understanding and value of life
An illness can be a wake up call
Unjust imprisonment, detachment from the things of this world
I will try to look at things such that I see their value
Every thing can be a teacher and everyone a guide
February 5th, 2023
When I’m depressed I move through life like molasses
The simplest things take so long to do
And most of the time I have no motivation to do them
I have to force myself to do the easiest tasks
And then I wonder what happened to me?
How did I use do things so easily, so quickly?
Why is my life in slow motion?
I think of my life and the things I’ve accomplished
And wonder how I used to be so effective, so creative?
It is like living in a different body
Or like my mind has gone on holiday
It is quite discouraging to say the least
And doesn’t do much for my self-esteem
I watch people laugh and go about their lives
While I feel stuck and left behind
These are the unfortunate realities of depression
Each time, I know or I hope I’ll feel better soon
But it always takes much longer than I think
And days go by so slowly
At such times, my friends are my life boats
They give me energy to go on
Their encouragement is the sunshine of my day
Their love lifts me up
Depression sucks!
And only good friends and family
Are my solace during those times
February 2nd, 2023
When I’m depressed I move through life like molasses
The simplest things take so long to do
And most of the time I have no motivation to do them
I have to force myself to do the easiest tasks
And then I wonder what happened to me?
How did I do things so easily, so quickly?
Why is my life in slow motion?
I think of my life and the things I’ve accomplished
And wonder how I used to be so effective? So creative?
It is like living in a different body
Or like my mind has gone on holiday
It is quite discouraging to say the least
And doesn’t do much for my self-esteem
I watch people laugh and go about their lives
While I feel stuck and left behind
These are the unfortunate realities of depression
Each time, I know or I hope I’ll feel better soon
But it always takes much longer than I think
And days go by so slowly
At such times, my friends are my life boats
They give me energy to go on
Their encouragement is the sunshine of my day
Their love lifts me up
Depression sucks!
And only good friends and family
Are my solace during those times
February 2nd, 2023
Over time, scars become part of us
They reflect the experiences we’ve had
And hardships we have endured
They decorate our body
And tell a story to whoever is willing to listen
I have a scar on my wrist which I’ve had since my childhood
I don’t even think of it as a scar anymore
It’s just how the inside of my left wrist looks like
It happened when I was 5 or 6
I broke a glass window as I tried to stop myself
After having run towards it
I no longer remember the pain or the bloody scene
All I know is that I survived it
My breast cancer scars will become of part of me too
I’ll accept them and see them as a part of my healing
January 31st, 2023
It’s like a dormant volcano
It seems like not much is happening now
But pressure is building again
And we’ll soon see another eruption
Maybe bigger than the previous one
When you push people down
They will eventually rise up
When you limit people’s freedom
They will eventually cry out
It’s a dormant volcano
It may look serene
But one day the eruption will take people by surprise
And all the anger and frustration will pour out
And cover the injustice all around
February 1st, 2024
Regarding the situation in Iran
Am I under constant stress due to my cancer treatment?
I’d say no
It’s been seven months since the diagnosis
The first few weeks very stressful
The sense of disbelief
Getting used to the idea or accepting it
All the what-ifs that go through your mind
And then accepting what’s to come
Initially, I thought I’d only need surgery and radiation
But then came the news of chemo
That was a tough pill to swallow
But we have no choice but to accept
The surprises life brings us
Acceptance brings us a certain level of peace
The first three months of chemo were tough
Especially because my mood was affected
Now, I’m back to my normal life
And so happy to be writing again
So, I’m not stressed right now
Just going through the various stages of treatment
Knowing that the prognosis is good
Feeling the love and support of my family and friends
And making the best of the situation that I’m in
January 31st, 2023
Another day, another trip to the hospital
A blood test and a meeting with my oncologist
And do you know what takes the most time
After the 30-60 minute drive to the hospital
Depending on traffic?
It’s getting in and out of a four level parking lot
With tight turns that scare me
What takes so much time?
Finding a place to park
Remembering where it is
Finding the car back
And then making the very slow drive out of the parking
Because of the number of cars ahead of me
Who are trying to do
the same thing
The appointments are relatively on time
And I love the cafeteria of this brand new hospital
It’s big, airy and colourful, with a tall ceiling
And big windows overlooking a large deck
There is artwork everywhere, inside and outside
The hospital architecture is itself a work of art
It looks like a building made of lego blocks
With each section having a different bright colour
It looks lovely as you approach it
I think all hospitals should be built this way
Inviting, bright and roomy
With attention paid to architecture
The cafeteria in an older hospital I’ve been to
Reminds me of prison cafeterias
Not that I’ve been to one
And perhaps prisons have nice cafeterias
But this particular cafeteria is dark, with a low ceiling, no colour, no art
No aesthetic whatsoever to speak of
Hospitals should be inviting places
You are already sick when you go there
You need uplifting surroundings
I’m sure it’s better for your mental and physical health
January 30th, 2023
lida's musings 