A gift to myself

 

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I cherish my solitude

A time to reflect

A time to write

There must be no distraction

I especially like coffee shops

 

This hour in the day has been carved into it

Because I’ve repeated it so many times

It’s now a groove into which I happily fall

 

It’s an hour when I recharge 

It’s a gift I give to myself

This time has brought me so much joy

I’ve spent these hours blissfully

 

Something so simple 

Can nourish my soul

It can be done anytime  

Anywhere in the world

 

March 10th, 2019

Free solo

white boat on body of water

 

To climb an impossible climb

To go where no one has gone before

To look fear in the face and not flinch

To be as determined as can be

 

We all climb different mountains in our lives

Some are small, some are big

Can’t beat the feeling when you get to the top

But getting there ain’t easy

 

An iron will

Support of friends and

Sticktoitiveness 

All necessary 

 

The more challenging the climb

The richer the reward 

And the more interesting the story

 

March 12th, 2019

Water falls

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Water falls falls falls

Words that flow flow flow 

Where they go go go

No one knows 

 

Water falls falls falls 

Thoughts aglow glow glow

Face that shines shines shines

Beauty bright 

 

Water falls falls falls

Hands that write write write

Words on fire fire fire 

Feelings show 

 

Water falls falls falls

Days go on on on

When we love love love 

Then we grow 

 

March 10th, 2019

The magic of the early mornings

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The silence of the early morning

When the world is still sleeping

When the sun has not risen

When my mind is refreshed after a night of rest

When the day ahead awaits

All I hear is the tick tock of the clock in the living room

And the hum of the heater

And that’s if I listen for it

Otherwise, I’m lost in my thoughts

On a sea of tranquility 

No one to distract me

No one who needs me

No urgent feeling to do things

Other than contemplate, read and write

It’s the magic of the early morning

Is my spirit closer to its source?

Is my mind not clouded with the tasks of the day?

What is the source of this calm I feel?

 

March 4th, 6:00 am

The swamp

 

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When I hear words that sadden my heart

sully my soul and make me feel like the

day has turned into night

When I hear words that are like awful

inkblots on a white silk scarf

I feel like I’ve plunged into a swamp

That I’m struggling to get out

But I keep being pulled back in

I feel the heaviness of the mud

Mud that has sullied my skin

I long for a fountain of pure water

To wash the dirt off of me 

The swamp is insistent though

And I feel trapped

Suddenly something beautiful catches my eyes

I see a field of wildflowers in the distance

My mood changes a bit 

The swamp seems less menacing

I keep my gaze on the flowers

And their beauty gives me the courage to

Continue my struggle 

And eventually I free myself

From the ugly swamp of dark emotions

 

February 24th, 2019

Web of love 2

 

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Words and ideas 

Crisscross the world

At the speed of lightening

Words about how we feel

The challenges we’ve had

The insights we’ve gleaned

 

Developing friendships 

Expanding friendships 

That’s what we do

Technology has brought us together 

This was impossible 

Ten years ago

 

We come together daily

Make each other laugh and think

We shower each other with praise

Wash the dust off our spirits

 

We are spinning a web of love

Across the world 

Connecting our hearts

We are helping each other grow 

One day at a time 

 

February 23rd, 2019 

Try harder

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Are you inherently weaker?

Not resilient enough?

Not optimistic by nature?

Unable to pull yourself up by your bootstraps?

These are questions one can face when depressed

 

Advice that is not helpful:

It will pass, be patient

Try harder

Be grateful for what you have 

You just need to change your attitude 

 

People mean well

But we don’t understand depression 

Well enough yet

 

Depression holds so many of us

In its grips

No one talks about it though

It’s easier to pretend all is well

It’s easier to not answer why or why again

So we hide behind the mask of normal

And very few people know our pain

 

Depression resembles laziness

Lack of vigor

A negative outlook towards life

Sadness

Hopelessness

 

And how is one to explain 

That you are trying hard

You are doing your best to feel better

You are not enjoying wallowing in your grief

That you don’t have complete control over how you feel

 

Good questions

The answers are not so obvious  

 

February 20th, 2019