Tag Archive | hell

A night from hell

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First night after my first chemo treatment:

It was a night from hell

Pardon my language

No, it wasn’t nausea or fatigue or the other things I was expecting

It did not let me sleep 

Did not let go of me all night

And I had never experienced  it before

It was restless leg syndrome

Every few second my leg would go into a spasm and move involuntarily, like a little kick 

So imagine that, times a thousand

Because it would not stop

I tried hot packs

I tried stretches

Albert gave me a massage

But these little kicks came back on time each time

I took Tylenol

I took Valerian 

I would sleep a little and then wake up 

To that now familiar and dreaded feeling of a kick I was not in control of

It did get better as the night went on

But it didn’t disappear totally

It became milder and less frequent

It moved from my left leg to my right leg where it has stayed

I’m so happy the night is almost over and with it my ordeal 

I hope it’s not a night I will ever have to repeat again

October 20th, 2022

ps: Nine days later: survived the first week after chemo and doing well.

To hell and back

 

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It is said to be a poet

You have to go to hell and back

The hell of suffering

The hell of hopelessness

The hell of dreariness

The hell of darkness

Why is that?

Could going to hell and back

Awaken in us emotions which we can then express in poetry?

Could going to hell and back

Teach us the humility that is required

To receive the gift of poetry?

Could going to hell and back

Burn away our impurities?

Could going to hell and back

Make brighter the colours of the world?

Could going to hell and back

Help us mature?

Going to hell and back

Seems and is awful

But if the result is poetry

What a gift

What a gift

 

December 10th, 2018