Tag Archive | grown up

Waiting to grow up

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I sometimes feel like I’m still waiting to grow up

That other people (those who are grown up)

Are doing the important things

I sometimes feel

Oh, in a few years I’ll be better at this

I should keep practicing

I sometimes feel others are far more experienced than me

They have grown up and are the real deal

I sometimes feel like I’m eighteen

I feel insecure

Not ready

Watching others do things more competently than me
But then I realize

This is it!

It’s as good as it’s going to be

That I’ve already done a lot of practicing

I will obviously not be good at many things

Many people will surpass me in different fields

But this is it

I have grown up

Even though I feel like I’m eighteen and still practicing

 

March 9th, 2020

 

Have I grown up?

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Have I grown up?
It depends…

When I joke and giggle with my kids
Talk about absurd things and
Sing songs badly
I feel just like a kid!

When I laugh at silly jokes
And tears start rolling down my cheeks
When I play Sherades or other games
I feel just like a kid

When I cry because of a harsh remark
Can’t find words to respond
Feel insecure as can be
I feel just like a kid

When I learn something new
Discover a poet I like to read
And time passes without me noticing
I feel just like a kid!

Of course I have the responsibilities
of a grown-up
Working, taking care of bills
Watching over my children
And these kinds of things

Of course, I’ve learned a thing or two
Experienced hardship
And can talk about my life lessons
So, I’m not a kid

But bing an adult would be so boring
If from time to time I could not be like a kid!

Lida Berghuis
November 2nd, 2015