Changing moods

When everything takes so much effort
To make a phone call
Or go out the door
When I’’m not sure what to look forward to
Or  how to enjoy the things that I do

When I can’’t laugh at the funny things
In life
When I look in the mirror
And see a frown

When creativity says goodbye
When anxiety is all around
When I forget how it feels to be relaxed
When enthusiasm is a thing of the past

This is when I know
That darkness has come
There is a shadow
Over my life

And no matter how hard I try
And no matter what I do
I can’’t step out of the shadow

Once in a while I see a glimpse of light
But it does not last for long
Darkness is what dominates
The sun seems so long gone

I tell myself things must get better
But even hope is hard to come by
My patience is tested one more time
When will the darkness be finally gone?

I pray and entreat the heavens above
I pray for the rain of healing to fall
I must be patient I tell myself
But for how long? For how long?

And after it seems like I can’’tvtake it any more
And after having said prayers for what seems like a million times
Something begins to change in me
And I wonder if the feeling is real

The world is suddenly brighter
I can see why others laugh and play
I can hear myself laugh again
And feel the pleasure and joy again

Life seems meaningful once more
There are projects to do
Things to plan,
And places to go

A sense of calm comes over me
Anxiety begins to leave
Challenges don’’t seem insurmountable
And as suddenly as the darkness came
It begins to fade awayIMG_7283

Lida Berghuis
November 19th, 2005

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