Waiting in the waiting room

Looking at the names on the screen to see when my turn is 

Actually Albert does most of the looking 

While I doodle or read

Uncomfortable thoughts go round and round in my head

What was the result of the CT scan?

Will I have another surprise?

Most likely everything is fine 

But cancer is very unpredictable 

You are never totally out of the woods

Of course, in a normal life things can go wrong too and surprises can be around the corner 

But in my case, the possibilities are higher

When you are healthy you never suspect that an illness will come 

And ignorance is bliss 

But once you’ve had cancer the possibilities of a recurrence bother you 

And when illness returns, it’s a major thing

You can’t fix it that easily 

So, these are the things that go round and round in my head as I wait and wait for my name on the blue screen 

March 17, 2025