I know not!

It’s time to rehash the last three months
When darkness fell upon my heart
When laughter did’t come easily anymore
When sorrow reigned and hope was gone

I see the light at the end of the tunnel now
My world is beginning to become colourful again
Shades of gray are replaced by yellow, red and green
Brightness is back, dreariness is gone!

And what was the purpose of this pain?
Why this suffering again and again?
The answers may elude me now
Perhaps I’ll know the reason why
Further down the road of life
The road where surprises hide
And answers are hard to come by

I felt like I was walking in a swamp
Every movement seemed so hard
Sometimes I wonder how I persisted
How I managed to smile from time to time

Writing, my joy in life left my side
Reading, my inspiration
Seemed laborious and hard
Joy left
Mental alertness left
I was surrounded by fog

I was not efficient
Not quick on my feet
I didn’t have any bright ideas worth sharing
But what choice did I have but to go on?
What Choice did I have…. none!

My friends were by my side
They’d throw me a line from time to time
Trying to keep me afloat a bit longer
As I struggled in the currents of life

It’s almost over
I’m almost there
And I’m thankful as can be
It’s a rebirth, another one
What is the wisdom?
I know not… I know not!

Lida Berghuis
May 22nd, 2015

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